Friday, December 03, 2004

Cry Me A River: "Post Election Selection Trauma"

I thought this P.E.S.T. thing came from the pages of The Onion. No, it is real: http://www.bocanews.com/index.php?src=news&prid=10127&category=Local%20News%20%20

Democrats flock to encounter groups, support groups, and counseling. They are undergoing hypnosis. Someone even committed suicide over the results. "...feelings of extreme anger, despair, hopelessness, powerlessness, a failure to function behaviorally, a sense of disillusionment, of not wanting to vote anymore – that sort of thing. We’re talking about a deep, unhealthy personal suffering that can best be remedied by intensive short-term therapy."

I'm a P.O.'d, but not despairing Yellow Dog Democrat [1]. I didn't like the election results either. So quit boohooing, and let's even up the score. Quit sending out all the angry red-blue maps marked "Dumbf***istan" and "Jesusland." Stop calling the fiftynine million voters retarded religious wackos. They're your neighbors. And we're going to be asking for their votes very soon!

Wrap up your short-term therapy. Let's win the midterms 23 months from now and bulldoze our way back into The White House in '08.

[1] The term, Yellow Dog Democrat, blossomed during all of the Hoopla which surrounded the 1928 elections, when Al Smith ran for President against Herbert Hoover. During that campaign, Senator Tom Heflin, of Alabama, declined to back his fellow Democrat, Al Smith the Governor of NY. In fact it was much worse than that, Senator Heflin decided to back Herbert Hoover, who would then go on to become President- a Republican President no less. Heflin's controversial actions were considered heresy, especially in the South. As you can imagine, quite a large number of Alabamans vehemently disagreed with Senator Heflin's decision to cross his "Party Lines". Hence, the popular saying, "I'd vote for a yellow dog if he ran on the Democratic ticket" was born! - from William Safire's Safire's New Political Dictionary, (c) 1993

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