Friday, October 26, 2007

all this is that reheated: The President Wets His Bed

President Bush is suffering a relapse of enuresis after having been cured almost forty years ago.

The bed wetting began intermittently around the time of the Scooter Libby troubles. By early November, and the firing of Secretary Rumsfeld, the devasting mid-term elections, and reports the situation in Iraq has become untenable, the enuresis became chronic and acute.

A mistress of Governor Jeb Bush, Heather Hunt, revealed the news in a phone call to Phil Ronson at the All This Is That National Affairs Desk in Washington, D.C. The closely held secret has been tightly under wraps since the President's relapse. According to Ms. Hunt, Laura Bush has assumed the task of laundering the first family linens. Ms. Hunt could not state whether or not the President was undergoing medical treatment for the disorder.


Photograph of The President at the time ofhis "cure"

Ms. Hunt further stated that the President was a late-adolescent bed wetter until age 19, when his parents flew him to Switzerland for extensive psychiatric and medical treatment, prior to his matriculation into Yale.
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