Monday, October 19, 2009
"We did it for the show," which must go on, and conversely, The Piper must also be paid. The Sheriff commences payback time for the Balloon Boy Hoax
By Pablo Fanque
All This Is That National Affairs Editor
The authorities who assured us Friday that the Balloon Boy episode was not a hoax, were actually hoaxing all of us, and have in the meantime, scrambled hammer and tong for evidence to prove otherwise.
In order to get to the truth, Sheriff Jim Alderden of Larimer County said, "it was very important during this time that they [the Heene family] maintained their trust with us." The investigators misled the media (which really means you and me) while they carried out their "game plan," gathering the truth [?]. And now, the cops say the whole thing was staged.
The famous balloon at the sheriff's department in Fort Collins, Colorado, this weekend. Click to enlarge.
After young Falcon Heene [ed's note to Ex-Governor Palin: file that name!] told Wolf Blitzer of CNN "we did this for the show," the authorities, and news media went ape, and two days later, Sheriff Alderden is calling the incident a "hoax," confected by the Heenes in hopes of landing a reality show based on their kooky family.
The parents, Richard and Mayumi Heene, "put on a very good show for us," Alderden said. And now, cops and prosecutors have dropped hints of various possible charges, up to and including:
- Child endangerment [Because Falcon was hiding in the attic?]
- Conspiracy to defraud law enforcement [does this mean the kids should also be charged?]
- Contributing to the delinquency of a minor [one charge per child]
- attempting to influence a public servant [Uh, wouldn't we also need to arrest about five thousand lobbyists, the heads of any corporation doing more than, say, $50 million of business a year?]
- Filing a false police report
The sheriff now says charges will be filed in the case, and says he is concerned about the safety of the youth, ages 6, 8, and 10. The local CPS (Children's Protective Service) is also making rumblings about an investigation.
Hell hath no fury like a bunch of bamboozled cops, editors, CPS workers, and a scandal-starved general public.