Republicans versus Democrats

[Author/originator unknown]

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude."

"She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be an Obama Democrat."

"I am," replied the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct. But I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."

The man smiled and responded, "You must be a Republican."

"I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?"

"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you are going. You've risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it's my fault."

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Three drawings: Faces #1081, 1082, and 1085

By Jack Brummet

[click to enlarge]

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Three paintings & drawings

By Jack Brummet

[hand drawn on canvas, signboard, and paper, digitized and colored]

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Drawing: Faces #1080 - scratchboard

By Jack Brummet

[Scribe on India Ink scratchboard and images, digitally reversed]

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Dan Duva talks about Mike Tyson and Don King

Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson when he re-signed with rival promoter Don King: "Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton."

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Painting: kaleidoscope

By Jack Brummet

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drawings: evolve

by Jack Brummet

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"I'm in the jailhouse now"

By Jack Brummet

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Poem: Evil Konks Out

By Jack Brummet

1

The sun, and that sweet, sweet moon, cling to heaven.
Bugs, fish, animals, trees, and people
Cling to earth.

Power is like stapling
A target to your back.
Play dumb, play slow, play luckless.

2
Difficulty surrounds
You like a moat,
You persevere.

Spoof, lie, mislead, and spin.
Be a smiler.
Don't awaken their enmity.

3
In the end, evil konks out
Like a squid simmered in its own ink,
Because evil fails the moment

It overcomes good--
Consuming the energy
To which it owed its duration.
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Painting: triangles

By Jack Brummet

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Don't Rock The Boat - a story about apes

"You've got five apes in a cage. You've got a banana hanging by a string in the middle of the cage. You've got some stairs going to the banana. Now pretty soon one of those apes is going to go for the banana and as soon as he hits the stairs you take a hose and you spray all five apes with freezing cold water for five minutes. Now, some time passes and pretty soon another one of the apes is going to make the same attempt with the same result.  All five  apes get sprayed with a cold water.  Now you turn off the cold water. You never use it again. One of the apes is going to go for the banana. He hits the stairs, the other four apes pounce on him and beat the shit out of him. Right? Okay, understandable."

"Now you replace one of those original apes with a new ape. After a while that new ape is going to spy that banana and when he goes for the stairs, the other four apes are going to jump on him and beat the shit out of him.  Right?  Now, time passes, you replace another one of the original apes with a new ape.  That new ape is going to go for the banana. The other four apes beat the shit out of him. Right? Including the first new ape who has no idea why he's so enthusiastically beating the shit out of this poor guy nor why he himself had the shit beat out of him.  Okay?"

"Now you keep replacing these original apes with new apes until  finally you've got a cage filled with fives apes who have never had the freezing cold water sprayed on them and never the less not one of those apes will never attempt to climb those stairs again.  Why not? Because that's the way it's always been done around here. - Jackson Evans, The Contender (From the 2000 film "Don't Rock The Boat")

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Middle Fingers: the monthly roundup (including Timberlake, Puff Daddy, Clark Gable, Barbara Stanwyck, Norman Reedus, Paul Newman)

By Mona Goldwater, Signs & Gestures Ed.

Here is our monthly round-up of mostly reader-submitted fingers.  See you next month.

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