Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Happy New Year! Let's make it happen.

Happy New Year from Mona Goldwater, Pablo Fanque, and Jack Brummet.

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Drawing: Knifefight

By Jack Brummet

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The best tank ever, and possibly a prototype for a bullet-proof urban transportation system

By Jack Brummet, Urban Transportation Ed. 

This would be a great vehicle to commute to work in.  A little slow, sure; I'm guessing it has a maximum speed of under ten miles per hour. And, yeah, people behind you might honk.  But then, they may not when they see how easily you can slip into reverse. This image/article comes from the always wonderful Modern Mechanix. It was first published in 1936.


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President Obama's favorite television shows, according to the New York Times

By Jack Brummet, Entertainment Ed. and Pablo Fanque, National Affairs Ed.




Over the years, we've had tantalizing hints about BHO's downtime entertainment.  We know he loves Al Green, and even sang a few bars of a tune by the Reverend.  He told the press at one point that his favorite Bob Dylan song was "I ain't going to work on Maggie's farm no more."  He's mentioned other songs, performers, and movies he likes.  Recently, his television viewing was chronicled in these excerpts from Michael D. Shear's article in the New York Times:




Obama’s TV Picks: Anything Edgy, With Hints of Reality

"Mr. Obama is … a devotee of Showtime’s 'Homeland,' which offers an eerily familiar mirror to the president’s own foreign policy adventures: terrorism, Iranian nuclear negotiations, drone strikes, and an intelligence agency struggling for legitimacy with Congress and the American people.




"It may be a fool’s errand to psychoanalyze anyone — let alone a sitting president — based only on the books he reads or the music he listens to, or the television shows he watches." - Michael D. Shear
"And the list of heavies continues. Mr. Obama has told people he is a big fan of 'Game of Thrones,' a brutal imagining of the wars in medieval Europe. He has raved about 'Boardwalk Empire' and the BBC’s 'Downton Abbey,' two period dramas that document the angst and difficulties that people faced during those times. And he has worked his way through the DVDs of AMC’s smoldering 'Mad Men' series, telling friends that the character of Peggy Olson has given him insight into what it must have been like for his strong-willed grandmother in a world dominated by men.



"These days, when Mr. Obama retreats to the White House residence after a long day on the other end of the colonnade, he is working his way through the DVD box set of AMC’s 'Breaking Bad,' the award-winning TV drama about a drug-dealing high school teacher. The show just ended after five seasons, but the president is way behind and frequently reminds those around him not to give anything away."




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Monday, December 30, 2013

Photo: Lost dog on Highway 97

By Jack Brummet

I found this on a bulletin board at a gas station along Highway 97, traveling from Mazama to Wenatchee. . .

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An overinflated Christmas in Kent, Washington

By Jack Brummet

Photographed Sunday December 29, 2013. . .





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Sunday, December 29, 2013

Woody Guthrie's New Year Resolutions

By Jack Brummet, Music Ed. 


Woody Guthrie wrote these rulins' a/k/a resolutions in either 1941, 1942, or 1943, depending on who is writing or talking.  The "official" Woody Guthrie website says they appear in one of his journals dated January 1, 1943 (at the very centerfold of the notebook).   

click to enlarge

Whenever he wrote them, he was 30-32 years old and this list is, like most of his work, a fascinating amalgam of innocent, funny, and wise.  

If you're a psychology student, it's kind of fascinating how these  map onto Abraham Maslow's hierarchy of needs (although many fall into the cracks between the levels).
Text of the journal entry:

1. Work more and better
2. Work by a schedule
3. Wash teeth if any
4. Shave
5. Take bath
6. Eat good — fruit — vegetables — milk
7. Drink very scant if any
8. Write a song a day
9. Wear clean clothes — look good
10. Shine shoes
11. Change socks
12. Change bed cloths often
13. Read lots good books
14. Listen to radio a lot
15. Learn people better
16. Keep rancho clean
17. Dont get lonesome
18. Stay glad
19. Keep hoping machine running
20. Dream good
21. Bank all extra money
22. Save dough
23. Have company but dont waste time
24. Send Mary and kids money
25. Play and sing good
26. Dance better
27. Help win war — beat fascism
28. Love mama
29. Love papa
30. Love Pete
31. Love everybody
32. Make up your mind
33. Wake up and fight
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Friday, December 27, 2013

Just Barely Alive - the plight of Donald Miller

By Mona Goldwater, Social Mores Ed.
[illustration by Jack Brummet] 



In October, an Ohio judge turned down a petition by Donald Miller, Jr., asking to be ruled alive. “You’re still deceased as far as the law is concerned.” Probate Judge Allan Davis ruled that state law requires challenges to a declaration of death (his wife obtained the declaration in 1994) to be filed within three years. Said Judge Davis, “I don’t know where that leaves you.” The Findlay, Ohio Courier, October 8, 2013 
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Thursday, December 26, 2013

Poem: Voluptas by James Weldon Johnson

Excavated by Jack Brummet, Poetry Ed.


To chase a never-reached mirage
Across the hot, white sand,
And choke and die, while gazing on
Its green and watered strand.

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Tuesday, December 24, 2013

The Grateful Dead perform Run, Rudolph, Run

By Jack Brummet, Music Ed.

The Grateful Dead at Madison Square Garden in 1971, perform "Run, Rudolph, Run." You may not be familiar with the Dead's original singer (preceding Jerry Garcia) Pigpen, who died in 1972. . .


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Images of the Plague Doctors

By Mona Goldwater, Social Mores Ed.



plague doctor was a special medical physician who treated those who had the Plague (a/k/a/ The Black Death).   "In the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries, some doctors wore a beak-like mask which was filled with aromatic items. The masks were designed to protect them from putrid air, which (according to the miasmatic theory of disease) was seen as the cause of infection. Thus:
"The nose half a foot long, shaped like a beak, filled with perfume with only two holes, one on each side near the nostrils, but that can suffice to breathe and to carry along with the air one breathes the impression of the drugs enclosed further along in the beak. Under the coat we wear boots made in Moroccan leather (goat leather) from the front of the breaches in smooth skin that are attached to said boots and a short-sleeved blouse in smooth skin, the bottom of which is tucked into the breaches. The hat and gloves are also made of the same skin… with spectacles over the eyes."













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Drawing: Faces #589

By Jack Brummet

click to enlarge
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Monday, December 23, 2013

Joan Baez with Jimi Hendrix

By Jack Brummet, Rock Ed.


Joan Baez with Jimi Hendrix. I originally saw the bong version, which is probably someone's Photoshop. A version that Corbis licenses is smokeless, and seems to be the original. But who really knows these days?



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Sunday, December 22, 2013

Merchandising madness (an extreme example from Pirates of the Caribbean)

By Mona Goldwater, Consumer Ed.



I found this old list, from Deadline Hollywood, of some of the items Disney has licensed around its upcoming Pirates of the Caribbean 2 movie. This was some years ago.  I wonder if it has gotten better or worse in the ensuing years?

Drinking water; energy drinks; flavored waters; fruit juices; fruit-flavored beverages; juice base concentrates; lemonade; punch; non-alcoholic beverages, namely, carbonated beverages; non-alcoholic beverages containing fruit juices; smoothies; sparkling water; sports drinks; syrups for making soft drinks; table water; vegetable juices; bagels; bases for making milkshakes; biscuits; bread; breakfast cereal; preparations made from cereal; bubble gum; cakes; cake mixes; candies; cake decorations made of candy; ketchup; cereal-based snack bars; chewing gum; chocolate; chocolate-based beverages; cocoa-based beverages; cones for ice cream; confectionery; cookies; corn-based snack foods; crackers; deli sandwiches; flavored, sweetened gelatin dessert.

Frozen confections; frozen meals consisting primarily of pasta or rice; frozen yogurt; honey; ice cream; ice milk; licorice; marshmallows; mayonnaise; muffins; mustard; noodles; oatmeal; pancakes; pancake mixes; pasta; pastries; pancake syrup; pies; pizza; popcorn; pretzels; puddings; rice; rolls; salad dressings; sauces; sherbets; spices; tea; tortillas; waffles; cheese; cheese and cracker combinations; cheese spread; candied fruit; chocolate milk; dairy products excluding ice cream, ice milk and frozen yogurt; dips; dried fruits; drinking yogurts; frozen meals consisting primarily of meat, fish, poultry or vegetables; fruit preserves; fruit-based snack food; jams; jellies; milk beverages with high milk content; meats; nuts; peanut butter; potato chips; potato-based snack foods; powdered milk; raisins; snack mix consisting primarily of processed fruits, processed nuts and/or raisins; soup; soup mixes; yogurt; action skill games; action figures and accessories therefore; board games; card games; children’s multiple activity toys; badminton sets; balloons.

Basketballs; bath toys; baseballs; beach balls; bean bags; bean bag dolls; board games; building blocks; bowling balls; bubble making wands and solution sets; chess sets; children’s play cosmetics; Christmas stockings; Christmas tree decorations; collectable toy figures; crib mobiles; crib toys; disc toss toys; dolls; doll clothing; doll accessories; doll playsets; electric action toys; equipment sold as a unit for playing card games; fishing tackle; golf balls; golf gloves; golf ball markers; hand held unit for playing electronic games; hockey pucks; inflatable toys; jigsaw puzzles; jump ropes; kites; magic tricks; marbles; manipulative games; mechanical toys; music box toys; musical toys; parlor games; party favors in the nature of small toys; party games; playing cards; plush toys; puppets; roller skates; rubber balls; skateboards; soccer balls; spinning tops; toys; stuffed toys; table tennis tables; target games; teddy bears; tennis balls; toy action figures; toy bucket and shovel sets; toy mobiles; toy vehicles; toy scooters; toy cars; toy model hobbycraft kits; toy figures; toy banks; toy trucks; toy watches; wind-up toys; yo-yos; athletic shoes; bandanas; baseball caps.

Beach cover-ups; beachwear; belts; bibs; bikinis; blazers; boots; bow ties; bras; caps; chaps; cloth bibs; coats; dresses; ear muffs; footwear; gloves; golf shirts; Halloween costumes; hats; head bands; head wear; hosiery; infantwear; jackets; jeans; jerseys; kerchiefs; leotards; leg warmers; mittens; neckties; night shirts; night gowns; pajamas; pants; panty hose; polo shirts; ponchos; rainwear; robes; sandals; scarves; shirts; shoes; skirts; shorts; slacks; slippers; sleepwear; socks; stockings; sweaters; sweat pants; sweat shirts; swimsuits; tank tops; tights; t-shirts; underwear; vests; wrist bands; afghans; barbecue mitts; bath linen; bath towels; bed blankets; bed canopies; bed linen; bed sheets; bed skirts; bed spreads; blanket throws; calico; children’s blankets; cloth coasters; cloth doilies; cloth flags; cloth pennants; comforters; crib bumpers; curtains; fabric flags; felt pennants; golf towels; hand towels; handkerchiefs; hooded towels; household linen; kitchen towels; oven mitts; pillow cases; pillow covers; pot holders; quilts; receiving blankets; silk blankets.

Table linen; textile napkins; textile place mats; textile tablecloths; throws; towels; washcloths; woollen blankets; beverageware; beverage glassware; bird houses; bowls; brooms; cake pans; cake molds; cake servers; candle holders not of precious metal; candle snuffers; canteens; ceramic figurines; coasters not of paper and not being table linen; cookie jars; cookie cutters; cork screws; cups; decorating bags for confectioners; decorative crystal prisms; decorative glass; decorative plates; dishes; figurines made of china, crystal, earthenware, glass, or porcelain; flower pots; hair brushes; hair combs; heat-insulated vessels; insulating sleeve holders for beverage containers; lunch boxes; mugs; napkin holders; napkin rings not of precious metals; paper cups; paper plates; pie pans; pie servers; plastic cups; plates; soap dishes; tea kettles; tea sets; thermal insulated containers for food or beverage; toothbrushes; trays; trivets; vacuum bottles.

Waste baskets; air mattresses for use when camping; bassinets; beds; benches; bookcases; cabinets; chairs; coat racks; computer furniture; computer keyboard trays; cots; couches; decorative glitter; decorative mobiles; desks; drinking straws; engraved and cut stone plaques; figurines and statuettes made of bone, plaster, plastic, wax, or wood; flagpoles; foot stools; furniture; gift package decorations made of plastic; hand fans; hand-held mirrors; jewelry boxes not of metal; key fobs not of metal; lawn furniture; love seats; magazine racks; mattresses; mirrors; non-Christmas ornaments made of bone, plaster, plastic, wax or wood; ottomans; party ornaments of plastic; pedestals; picture frames; pillows; plant stands made of wire and metal; decorative wall plaques; plastic flags; plastic name badges; plastic novelty license plates; plastic pennants; plastic cake decorations; sea shells; sleeping bags; tables; toy chests; umbrella stands; venetian blinds; wind chimes; all purpose sport bags; athletic bags; baby backpacks; backpacks; beach bags; book bags; calling card cases; change purses; coin purses; diaper bags; duffel bags; fanny packs; gym bags; handbags; knapsacks; key cases; leather key chains; lipstick holders; luggage; luggage tags; overnight bags; purses; satchels; shopping bags; tote bags; umbrellas; waist packs; wallets.

Address books; almanacs; appliqués in the form of decals; appointment books; art prints; arts and craft paint kits; autograph books; baby books; ball point pens; baseball cards; binders; bookends; bookmarks; books; bumper stickers; calendars; cartoon strips; Christmas cards; chalk; children’s activity books; coasters made of paper; coin albums; coloring books; color pencils; comic books; comic strips; coupon books; decals; decorative paper centerpieces; diaries; disposable diapers for babies; drawing rulers; envelopes; erasers; felt pens; flash cards; gift cards; gift wrapping paper; globes; greeting cards; guest books; magazines; maps; memo pads; modeling clay; newsletters; newspapers; note paper; notebooks; notebook paper; paintings.

Paper flags; paper party favors; paper party hats; paper cake decorations; paper party decorations; paper napkins; paper party bags; paperweights; paper gift wrap bows; paper pennants; paper place mats; paper table cloths; pen or pencil holders; pencils; pencil sharpeners; pen and pencil cases and boxes; pens; periodicals; photograph albums; photographs; photo-engravings; pictorial prints; picture books; portraits; postcards; posters; printed awards; printed certificates; printed invitations; printed menus; recipe books; rubber stamps; score cards; stamp albums; stationery; staplers; stickers; trading cards; ungraduated rulers; writing paper; writing implements; alarm clocks; belt buckles of precious metal (for clothing); bolo ties with precious metal tips; bracelets; busts of precious metal; candle snuffers of precious metal; candlesticks of precious metal; charms; clocks; earrings; jewelry; jewelry cases of precious metal; jewelry chains; key rings of precious metal; lapel pins; letter openers of precious metal; neck chains; necklaces; necktie fasteners; non-monetary coins; ornamental pins; pendants; rings; slides for bolo ties; stop watches; tie clips; tie fasteners; tie tacks; wall clocks; watch bands; watch cases; watch chains; watch straps.

Watches; wedding bands; wristwatches; audio cassette recorders; audio cassette players; audio cassettes; audio discs; audio speakers; binoculars; calculators; camcorders; cameras; CD-ROMs; CD-ROM drives (as part of the computer); CD-ROM writers (as part of the computer); cellular telephones; cellular telephone accessories; cellular telephone cases; face plates for cellular telephones; compact disc players; compact disc recorders; compact discs; computer game programs; computer game cartridges and discs; computers; computer hardware; computer keyboards; computer monitors; computer mouse; computer disc drives; computer software; cordless telephones; decorative magnets; digital cameras; DVDs; DVD players; DVD recorders; digital versatile discs; digital video discs; electronic personal organizers; eyeglass cases; eyeglasses; headphones.

Karaoke machines; microphones; MP3 players; modems (as part of a computer); mouse pads; motion picture films; pagers; personal stereos; personal digital assistants; printers; radios; sunglasses; telephones; television sets; video cameras; video cassette recorders; video cassette players; video game cartridges; video game discs; video cassettes; videophones; walkie-talkies; wrist and arm rests for use with computers; after-shave lotions; antiperspirants; aromatherapy oils; artificial eyelashes and fingernails; baby oil; baby wipes; bath gels; bath powder.

Beauty masks; blush; body creams, lotions, and powders; breath freshener; bubble bath; cologne; cosmetics; dentifrices; deodorants; dusting powder; essential oils for personal use; eye liner; eye shadows; eyebrow pencils; face powder; facial creams; facial lotion; facial masks; facial scrubs; fragrance emitting wicks for room fragrance; fragrances for personal use.

Hair gel; hair conditioners; hair shampoo; hair mousse; hair creams; hair spray; hand cream; hand lotions; hand soaps; lip balm; lipstick; lipstick holders; lip gloss; liquid soaps; makeup; mascara; mouthwash; nail care preparations; nail glitter; nail hardeners; nail polish; perfume; potpourri; room fragrances; shaving cream; skin soap; talcum powders; toilet water; skin creams; skin moisturizer; sun block; sun screen.
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Drawing/Painting: Faces No. 588 - Cousins, part 2

By Jack Brummet

[watercolor, pencil, Sharpie on blank Dilbert stencil forms from 1997]

click to enlarge
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Saturday, December 21, 2013

Faces #586 - cousins

By Jack Brummet


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The best Scrooge, ever: Lord Buckley's "A hip Christmas carol"

By Jack Brummet, Holiday Ed.



Since the first time I heard it in California in 1985 I was blown away.  Take ten and a half minutes and listen. I say the same thing every Christmas.



A Hip Christmas Carol
by Lord Buckley


"Yes, me, I'm Scrooge and I got all Marley's barley,
and I'm the baddest cat in all dis world.
I been studyin' all my life how to Scrooge people,
and I guarantee I done some fine work in dat direction.
"Cratchit!"

"Yes, sir."

"You busy?"

"I shorely is, sir."

"See dat you keep busy.
Don't want no danglin' wanglin' around here.
Keep everybody tight.
And tell dem two cats come in here want to get some money
I ain't givin' no money away.

"Dey messin' wit Scrooge.
I'm takin' it in. I ain't puttin' it out.
Issat clear?"

"Yes, sir."

"Well, keep it clear. People comin' around here
wantin' my gold dat's all, tryin' to pry into my vault.
Every time I turn around somebody's tryin' to snap...

"Tell my nephew I don't want to have no dinner wid him
an' if he never comes in here again dat'll be too soon."

"I'll tell de cat."

"See dat ya do.

"I don't understand dese people who are after my gold.
I close up dis here place and den dey ...

"What, what? Yeah, let me tell you somethin else -
You think that you gonna get off Christmas day?"

"Well I was hopin', sir, dat you'd let me knock off just a little while
for Christmas Eve cause I want to go home and cool da goose."

"Well if you gonna get off Christmas Eve
you gonna have to work aaalllll day Christmas.
You hear me?"

"I hear ya, sir. I'm wid it."

"Well I guess I'll go on home here."

So Scrooge takes off and he cuts on down the street.
And the snow's blowin' and da winds is wooooooooin',
and Scrooge is goin' along in his loose soul
and his loose clothes and his hard cash box
and his big money mind goin' on in his wig
and he ding ding ding up da stairs
and he open his door and he gets inside
and he puts a double lock on da door
cause he a little bugged tonight.
He bein' sayin' "Humbug" so long, "Humbug dis," an' "Humbug dat,"
he done give himself a natural Humbug.
He's got da bug hummin' in him, see.
So he double-lock da door.

And he sit dere and all of a sudden
dere's an old bell layin' over dere in the corner
and da bell goes, "ding-ding-ding-ding"
and Scrooge say, "Whassat?"
Dang- dong. "Whassat?"
Bell started ringin' "DING DONG DOONG DOONG"
Pretty soon all da bells all over the house started ringin'
"Ding Ding Dang Dang Dong
Ring Dong Boom Boom, Ding dong,
Boom boom"

And he hear somethin'
like some chain cats are pullin'
all da chains from the chains of time
up the hill 'a strife ringing' and dinglin'
wid his whole head ringin' and dingin' wid dem chains.

And bloooop!

In come a cat, da wildest lookin' cat ya ever see in his life.
Real gone cat.
And Scrooge does a real wild take

"I know who dat stud is - dat's Marley!
I know dat's Marley!
What's he doin' here? Say, Marley?"

"Yes, it's me."

"Man, you sure chained up dere,
man, you got chainsville all over you dere!"

"Well, I put em on myself, dat's da way I lived it.
I chained myself. I hung myself up wid all dese chains, you know,
bein' parsimonious, ya understand what I mean?
I can't get 'em off now.
I been luggin' dese chains all over da country
for the past seven years."

"Dat's a long time.
What's you want wit me dere, Marley Marley?
cause I got your barley."

"I don't mess wid no barley no more.
I wish I'd given it all away when I had it
and I'm gonna tell you somethin' else, too,
I'm a spook, you know dat."

"You tellin' me. I know dat.
You a spook, man, an' I wanna get straight."

"I'm gonna tell you somethin else, too, Mr. Scroogie Scrooge,
Dere gonna be three more gas lightin' spooks comin' in to see you."

"Three more gas lightin' spooks.
Say, one spook's enough.
Can't I have 'em all at one time?"

"No. Dey comin' one at a time.
First one be eleven,
next one be twelve,
next one'll be one."

"Man, if I had known this..."

"Tell you what. You dig, Scrooge, it's what you puttin' down.
You been a real sorry cat all dis time.
You gonna be gassed now by dese spooks."

"Well, dey say if I gotta be gassed..
Ain't gonna cost me no money, is it?"

"Cost you more 'n dat, Scrooge."

"Dey ain't no more den money!"

"You find out."

Brrrrt.

And Marley split.

And old Scrooge is sittin' dere sweatin' and dinglin' danglin'.

And all of a sudden, man,
he hears some crazy wild kind of a thing goin' on.
He don't know just what it is and all of a sudden . . .

Boom

Here comes a great big fat spook,
look like takes a hundred and seventy wings
lift him off over da house top
and he's got de old beat up cat and spandly legs,
and strangly arms and pedicured eyes,
and a whole out of his skull wiggin' up a storm
and he looks at old Scrooge and he says...

Scrooge is standin' dere in the corner
he feel like a disrupted small disregarded
and unclaimed white mice midget-style,
he's sittin' over dere.

And dis spook say, "Come wid me
'cause I is The Ghost of da Christmas Past!"

And Scrooge say, "Do I hafta?"

Say, "You certainly do!"

And he got on the ghost's wing and - brrt - they took off.

And he's flyin' old Scrooge over da top of da mountain
da wind is blowin', da wind is partin' his way,
and he's lookin' down, and seein' all dese crazy scenes goin' on.

Zoom!

He goes over a few more miles
Takes him down to a sun-lit pasture.
And da sun-lit pasture's full of children,
and de're singin' and dancin' and lovin' and goin' and swingin'
and Scrooge say, "Look, look, look! Dat's me down dere!"

"Yeah, dat's you, dat's you."

"I look pretty good"

"Yeah but ya don't look good now,"
He say, "I wanna hip you gotta get yourself ?

Zoom!

He takes him over to another place
and he shows him a pretty little chick
got dimples, three dimples on each chin,
and she got three little dimpled children,
and the next little dimple on da way,
and dere's a real swingin' cat around there,
and it's a happy time,
looks like seventeen carnivals takin' off.

An' Scrooge look at dis chick and say,
"I remember dat chick. I could 'a married her once."

"Yeah, you coulda if you wasn't so tight wid your purse.
You all was thinkin' about yourself, dat's what happened."
Say, "Let me hip you further, Mister Scrooge,
Let me tell you one thing:
you better get everything straight that you wanna
and you better straighten up."

"An' take me home."

"Yeah, I will."

Brrrrm Boom

And he's home again.

So man, that was a shaker.

This whole thing, this whole thing is shakin' me up pretty bad.

He say, I want to tell you right now . . .

Boom!

Here comes another big spook

Ooooohhhh He's a wild lookin' spook.
He's a crazy lookin' spook.

He's a far-out spook, he's a gas-light spook.
He's got a gas light right on the top of his wig
goin' around like one of them dramatic ? pilot lights
in a light house and he's there gassin' up the whole scene.

He say "Come with me. I'm The Ghost of Christmas Present"

And Scrooge look around and sees
the joint is loaded with apples and bananas and oranges and,
and credalies and acralonchs and ripalips
all kinds of crazy wild grapes and crazy Chistmas scenes
and nuts and candy.

And he say, "Come wid me."

Brrrrrttt.

Done took off again,

He said "I am The Ghost of Christmas Present."
He say, "I'm gonna show you what's goin' on in dis world
and how to dig Christmas and how to all enjoy

And he took him up to a little old outcast.

And there sittin on a small beat-up rock
was two studs chompin' up on a can 'a beans singin',

"Merry Christmas widch you,
Merry Christmas widch you.
Merry Christmas to the whole world"

And so on and so forth.

And he showin' him the people jumpin' for joy,
see how the cats that ain't got nothin' got somethin' anyway,
and they're all jumpin' for joy singin' "Merry Christmas," and da bells is ringin'.

Now you get yourself straight and see how things is ....

So they fly over da Cratchit's place,
there little old Tiny Tim, He's sittin' over in the corner
crochetin' a little crazy scene,
fiddlin' around, ya know what I mean?
An carryin' on, see,
and they are all talkin' about this here goose,
and dey look down here and this little goose
about the size of a beat up retarded sparrow,
and everybody's ooohin' and aahhhin' all over dis goose,
and day sayin' when are we gonna spread it,
and Tiny Tim say, "God bless everyone,
and even up to and including Scroogy Scrooge.
God bless everyone!" That's what Tiny Tim say.

And old Scrooge got red-eyed.

Brrrrt .

Took 'im back again.
Sound like the whole side 'a the buildin' open up
and in come a long angular spook
seventeen gas lights and stove pipes
hung together with
jingle jangle bells all over
Scrooge takes a look at this cat,

Says, "Do I have to go with you?"

He says, "You certainly do, 'cause I'm The Ghost of Christmas Future."

He say, "Come wid me."

Say, "Where we goin'?"

"None 'o your business!"

He takes old Scrooge they cut off flyin' around
the moonlight is shinin' down.

Booom!

They're in the grave-yard.
Oooh a wild OOOOoooohhhh
crazy spooky graveyard
and Scrooge is walkin' around
and finally something stepped out at him
like he was struck with the force of his eye lids,
some sort of an electronic pitchfork,
and he reads on one of them billboards in that grave-yard,
it say, "Dis is Scrooge, the baddest cat that ever lived.
He don't have nothin' he ain't got nothin' and he ain't got nothin now."

Period

And Scrooge looked at it and . . .

They're going to another place,
and there's a cat say "You goin' to the funeral?"
and he say, "Not me, man, I wouldn't go near that cat, dead or alive.
They couldn't pay me to get near that cat."
Say, "What cat is that?"
And suddenly Scrooge is takin' in the coffin factory
and seeing all these coffins layin' around,
and see one coffin,
all the rest of 'em got flowers around
'n 'dis poor little coffin got nothin on it but just some pinewood boards
an' old Scrooge look up and over and he's lookin' at this and that
and look all away 'cause he knows who is in dat coffin.

Zooooommmm.

He's swings on back again and the ghost puts him down
and old Scrooge is shakin' and shiverin'
and he finally falls into a real wild, crazy miser's coma.
And he falls out for how long he don't know
when and he wakes up and
Mornin'!

Aaaaahh, the sun was shinin' on the glorious snow
and old Scrooge is feelin' so groovey 'n so wired
and he tip tip tip tip tip toes over to the window.
He open the window, see a little cat, he say, "Hey, boy."

"Yes, sir."

"You know that great big giant king-size bird
down in Doodley's window?"

"You mean the prize bird?"

"No," he say, "I mean that great big king-size bird."
Say, "Go get that bird. Here's a twenty."

He knocks a twenty on him. "Go get dat bird.
And here's ten more for a cab,
an here's five dollar for your sister,
and here's twenty-two-fifty for your uncle's new bicycle.
Tell anyone who wants anything, 'See Scrooge.'
I'm flyin' this here Christmas.
I want to see Cratchit swing out
with a great big swingin' happy dinner.
I'm wid it all da way!"

An' old Scrooge get dressed and he's walkin' down the street,
and Ding Dong, Ding Dong Ding, the bells is ringin'.
Scrooge got a big smile on his face,
and people he's seen for twenty years never said hello,sayin'
"Good morning, Mr. Scrooge."

"What you say, Baby?"

An' he carryin' on, carryin' on, happy as the day is long.
And he finally fell into old Bob Cratchit's place
and he's got Christmas toys and Christmas joys
and Christmas presents for everybody.

And they'd just opened the goose,
and then little Tiny Tim see him comin',
he say, "God bless Mr. Scrooge.
He done did the turn about.
He's the Lord's boy today."

And that's the story of Scrooge.
You can get wid it if you want to.
There's only one way straight to the Road of Love.
---o0o---

Friday, December 20, 2013

The First Selfie?

By Jack Brummet, Photo Ed.


The Oxford Dictionaries recently announced their word of the year for 2013 is “selfie”, which they define as “a photograph that one has taken of oneself, typically one taken with a smartphone or webcam and uploaded to a social media website.” 

The picture considered by many to be the first photographic portrait ever taken was a “selfie”. The image was taken in 1839 by an amateur chemist and photography enthusiast named Robert Cornelius. Cornelius set his camera up at the back of the family store in Philadelphia and took the image by removing the lens cap and then running into frame where he sat for a minute before covering up the lens again. 

---o0o---


The Statue of Liberty and her Morton's toe

By Jack Brummet, Statue and Monument Ed.


Did you know the Statue of Liberty has the condition known as Morton's toe (or Greek foot or "Royal Toe" or "LaMay toe" or "Sheppard's Toe" or Morton's syndrome?  According to the Wikipedia:  "Long toe) is the common term for the condition of a shortened first metatarsal in relation to the second metatarsal. It is a type of brachymetatarsia."


"The metatarsal bones behind the toes vary in relative length. In Morton's foot, the first metatarsal, behind the big toe, is short compared to the second metatarsal, next to it. The long second metatarsal puts the joint at the base of the second toe (the second metatarsal-phalangeal, or MTP, joint) further forward. If the big toe and the second toe next to it are the same length, the second toe will be longer than the big toe," as shown in the photo below:




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Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Photos: Shaky Santas

click to enlarge
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Poem: Going Mad Might Be Like A Bad Eight Track Tape Deck

By Jack Brummet



You're not sure you hear the faint overtones
Layered under the music like static in a skipping signal

From a distant 50,000 watt radio station.
It's subtle at first, like music from another room.

Soon it becomes more than an echo
And you hear two songs at once

As the azimuth of an 8-track head becomes misadjusted
And adjacent tracks  bleed into the signal.

Hearing voices must be like that.
You brush it aside at first, doubting your own ears.

When it emerges with authority,
You can’t tell which voice is real

And which voice is a doppleganger.
Soon, bleedthrough takes precedence.

You can no longer differentiate
Between Jiminy Cricket’s voice and the one ordering you

To leave your house at 2 A.M. to dice up
The first luckless person to cross your path.
         ---o0o---

Drawings: Faces No. 580 and 581

By Jack Brummet

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Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Ballard Cedar mill, Seattle, 1919

By Mona Goldwater, Seattle History Ed.

Photo from the Seattle Museum of History & Industry 

The Seattle Cedar mill, just west of the Ballard Bridge, was the largest sawmill in Ballard. Logs were cut into lumber and then dried for nine months before being sold. The stacks of drying lumber were at least 50 feet high.
---o0o---