Friday, November 30, 2007

The New York City Sewer Guy

click to enlarge

My boss brought me back a great canvas from New York City on a recent trip there. As you can see from the photo, it matches my own canvases that are hung in my office. The Sewer Guy creates these on top of those gigantic manhole covers all over the city, using paint and a rubbing technique. I love it!

Mark Nilsen has a web site here. If you ever bump into him on the street, he'll whip up a canvas for you either pre-made, or right on the spot on top of a manhole cover...

Back In Austin, Texas

I've had a great 24 hours in Austin so far. Last night we went out to "fancy barbecue" at Lambert's in the 2nd street district (right next to the warehouse district). I've never had barbecue with cloth tablecloths, napkins, and wine goblets. There was a great piano player, and we had a very good golden ale local beer (great for a beer wimp like me) Real Ale Firemans No. 4 and excellent green chili grits. I had some coffee and brown sugar rubbed and oak smoked brisket, and a great iceberg wedge salad.

I was so dog tired that I fell asleep within two minutes of arriving back at The Austin Motel. I fully intended to rest my eyes five minutes, and go across the street to the Continental Club to hear some music. I woke up fully clothed, contacts still in at 4:15. I wish I was here next week: The Knitters (John Doe, Exene, etc) are playing two nights at the Continental.

Tonight I'm off off t0 see The English Beat/The specials/Special Beat/General Public/Fine Young Cannibals at Antone's in the warehouse district.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Heading to Austin...

Long time reader, friend for thirty-nine years, and someone who makes my year every time I get to see him [1], wrote suggesting I quit using the image of the crashed monoplane when I write about traveling, and instead use the cover of the Special Beat Service album by the English Beat. And he's right. As it happens, I and The English Beat will both be in Austin, Texas tomorrow, and we will be in the same room at Antone's. Oddly enough, it was Kev who introduced me to The English Beat, and their final album, Special Beat Service. I became a fan, and followed the careers of their offshoots and motherlodes, The Specials, General Public, and Fine Young Cannibals. And now it's all come full circle. And Kev, God bless his soul, said I should post the SBS album cover because "they all arrive safely as you always do."

Who'd have ever thought I would fly all around this world? Or that I might become discombobulated when I hadn't flown anywhere for a couple of weeks? I remember back to a time when an 84 hour bus or train trip was preferable to boarding a 'plane for a four hour flight.

I am still sorting this all out. Somehow I have moments when I miss being petrified about flying, and wonder if I haven't just been hypnotized by the Great Corporate Snake?

Anyhow, I will endeavor to write more from Austin in the next few days...and, of course, give a show report on my happy reunion with The English Beat.


Jack (boarding the 'plane for San Francisco and on to Austin in five hours)

[1] Like I did this June, when I reconnected with NYC and had a ball with Kev and our familial entourage stalking our old haunts, and new ones, in the East Village, Times Square, The Upper West Side, and Brooklyn, and marveling about the changes in us, and New York, and the world.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Aviophobia, Part 26

As December approaches, I am taking stock of my last year. Incredibly, in the last year, I have traversed America on 70 different airplanes. You may recall, in the early weeks of the year, I was locked in the throes of acute chronic aviophobia.

Even when I lived in New York City, and San Francisco, it was all I could muster to get on a 'plane at all once a year to travel home to Seattle. Now, I routinely take multi-legged trips all over the map, switching 'planes, and hopping on turbo-props from one airport to the next.

Only a year ago, I needed Xanax, Vallium, or any sort of phramaceutical psychic soother to get close to an aiport. And those aids were often bolstered with a bloody mary, screwdriver, or glass of wine. The weeks leading up to a flight were filled with dread, and an increasing sense of doom the closer I got to boarding the "aircraft." Today? I barely even think about it until the night before I depart. Yeah, I usually only sleep a few hours that night before, but I have become sanguine about the flights. On the 'plane, I bring a load of distractions: whatever book I am currently reading, a Nintendo DS to play games, a laptop computer (that I almost never use in flight), a sketch pad or canvas to draw on, and a notebook for stories and poems.

It mostly works. I don't even think about my stainless steel hip setting off alarms and the subsequent indignity of friskings and patdowns. It's just part of the deal now. I am extremely uneasy in flight, but I've mostly sorted it out. I'll be traveling to England and Pune, India in the next couple of months, so I shouldn't get too cocky. . .but for the moment, I've tamped down the extreme anxiety and fear of flying to a level that's at least tolerable. And oddly enough, I am happiest on a turbo-prop, flying close to the ground, with the propeller whirring about five feet from my head. What's the deal with that?

Poem: Narcissism

"They all sound the same," shouts someone in the audience. "It's all one song," replied Neil Young.

It's all about me
Who are we spoofing
When we pretend otherwise?

It's all one story
It's all one poem
It's all one song

Like it or not.

Another random poetry generator

I've always been fascinated by poetry generators. I wrote one in the Prolog language in the 1980's and fiddled around with it forever, never able to get it quite right. This one, Rob's Amazing Poetry Generator, looks at a URL (in this case All This Is That) and comes up with a poem. Well, it's not much of a poem, but what I found fascinating was the way it grabbed snatches of this blog from two and three years ago and attempted to incorporate them into the poem. This actually makes me want to attempt to write another one. For what it's worth, here is what Rob's generator came up with:

All This song The
United States of bitters; 2 07 with
his nadir in
Iraq and hooking it bite
into a couple of America,
Republicans, The Pope favoured the
Pugilist Tuesday, November 24, 2007 Alien lore and
others. Do a Daily News
editorial called his education information, And come November 25,
PM 0 abbr, acronym {
cursor: help; : you go see diagram
courtesy Tom Pennington .
Cures that Aside from
a Kendall Barack Obama
has been
serious deviations in public about
something unrelated to some
decisions that there were frequently
but charming Fred wife, Jeri
Kehn Thompson bonus: knockout first
primary states, that is, distributed
without taking another
breath, from the book released yesterday I
title\>\u003c/div\> \u003cb:loop u003c/
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length of America, Republicans who had unknowingly passed
along with drugs, or less .Rhizoma Polygonati
Odorati rhizome
of without taking another breath.
from acorns, manufactured by Jack Brummet at least
Rudy had been ahead
in this blog...

Using the blog about the life of my friend Philip Kendall, it came up with this one:

In hand, over and this was
crawling across this is not jokes, all
of him fight once, although they camped out the
last time. you put them and
did have a guy name. u003d\\\>\
navMessage\\> \u003c/data:name\was
literacy, with some time with
the teachers loved his death
Milo nicknamed him in LL both
the courage to
girls, and whenever
anyone we decided to
ride a whistle.
I would suggest popcorn,
Story Kevin Curran would respond
with Hobart when Dad pulled up, again,
What are wasting your game.

Photomontage: Jeri Kehn pressing the flesh (includes one photo of her husband) and links to Jeri Kehn photo motherlode

Jeri Kehn has been busy on the campaign trail once again. This week, we find her pressing the flesh and posing for photo ops in four different states. That wrinkly guy in the upper left hand corner is ex-Senator Fred Thompson, who is running for office, or something.

click Jeri to enlarge

The Jeri Kehn photo motherlode:

Latest Jeri Kehn sightings and photographs
Two more Jeri Kehn Thompson Photos
Jeri Kehn Thompson photo update No. 12--eleven new Jeri Kehn photographs
Two more Jeri Kehn Thompson Photos
A Jeri Kehn Thompson cameo appearance in a Fred Thompson campaign video, four new Jeri Kehn photographs, and a Mrs. Fred Thompson photo roundup
Three additional photos of Mrs. Fred Thompson a/k/a Jeri Kehn
Meet the Thompson Twins: Fred Thompson's wife, Jeri Kehn (with photos)
One More Jeri Kehn Thompson photo
Jeri Kehn Photos, Part 3: Three more photos of Mrs. Fred Thompson
More Jeri Kehn photos--> A follow-up to "Meet the Thompson Twins: Fred Thompson's wife, Jeri Kehn (with photos)
Not Jeri Kehn: people who are not Mrs. Fred Thompson, yet who often turn up in search engine searches on "Jeri Kehn"
Three new Jeri Kehn photos; links to Jeri photos; and Fred Thompson describes the beauty of having a hot first lady;
New photographs of Jeri Kehn Thompson on the campaign trail (and a couple of her husband Fred too)

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Alien Lore No. 118 -- Video and lyrics: The Carpenters' Calling Occupants Of Interplanetary Craft

Calling Occupants Of Interplanetary Craft is unquestionably the nuttiest song The Carpenters ever recorded. . .so out there it qualifies as an Alien Lore entry on All This Is That. Aside from Sun Ra, not a lot of modern music has focused on "visitors" alien lore, or close encounters, and for the clean-cut mainstream Carpenters to perform this song was, even in those wacky times, a real mind-f***er!

Calling Occupants of Interplanetary Craft is a song by Klaatu, originally released in 1976. It was covered by the Carpenters with a crew of 160 musicians.

John Woloschuk, a member of Klaatu and one of the song's composers, said:
The idea for this track was suggested by an actual event that is described in The Flying Saucer Reader, a book by Jay David published in 1967. In March 1953 an organization known as the "International Flying Saucer Bureau" sent a bulletin to all its members urging them to participate in an experiment termed "World Contact Day" whereby, at a predetermined date and time, they would attempt to collectively send out a telepathic message to visitors from outer space. The message began with the words..."Calling occupants of interplanetary craft!"

Calling Occupants Of Interplanetary Craft

In your mind you have capacities you know
To telepath messages through the vast unknown
Please close your eyes and concentrate
With every thought you think
Upon the recitation we're about to sing

Calling occupants of interplanetary craft
Calling occupants of interplanetary, most extraordinary craft

Calling occupants of interplanetary craft
Calling occupants of interplanetary craft
Calling occupants of interplanetary, most extraordinary craft

You've been observing our earth
And we'd like to make a contact with you
We are your friends

Calling occupants of interplanetary craft
Calling occupants of interplanetary ultra emissaries

We've been observing your earth
And one night we'll make a contact with you

We are your friends
Calling occupants of interplanetary quite extraordinary craft

And please come in pace we beseech you
(Only of love we will teach you)
Our earth may never survive (So don't come we beg you)
Please interstellar policemen
Won't you give us a sign give us a sign that we've reached you

With your mind you have ability to form
And transmit thought energy far beyond the norm
You close your eyes, you concentrate, together that's the way
To send a message we declare World Contact Day

Calling occupants of interplanetary craft
Calling occupants of interplanetary craft
Calling occupants of interplanetary, most extraordinary craft

Calling occupants
Calling occupants
Calling occupants of interplanetary, anti-adversary craft

We are your friends

Monday, November 26, 2007

Newsweek looks into what makes Rudy Rudy

If you're a regular reader, you know we think The Mayor of 9/11, Rudolph Giuliani, is not specifically the best choice for President of the United States of America. Far from it. From the Republican column, we would even give the nod to that dingbat Dennis Kucinich, or the plodding but charming Fred Thompson (bonus: knockout first lady) before we'd give the nod to Rudy. If I was a Republican I'd probably vote for Mike Huckabee or Mitt Romney. Note: I've only voted for two republicans in my entire life, and I'd be glad to do it again if they could just quit sounding like, well, Nazis, toothless hillbillies, imbeciles, reactionary toads , whores to the establishment, Republicans.

Giuliani unquestionably has done some good in his life. He completely turned around the town I lived in for five years (NYC), and as a federal prosecutor, he broke the strangle-hold of the mob on NYC and elsewhere. But then there were other problems, with his trigger-happy police, who seemed to feel like they had a standing shoot to kill order on anyone who breached the peace, or with his personal life where he felt no compunction about housing his girlfriend and wife and children in Gracey Mansion at the same time. And then, at his nadir in public opinion as he was about to leave office, 9/11 happened, and he walked around with a hardhat and megaphone issuing sound bites to a ravenous press, and he was suddenly transmogrified into an expert on Islam, terrorism, and national security. The policemen and women and the firefighters do not agree. And neither apparently do many other people. Under this logic, I should probably be the police commissioner of New York City, since I was mugged three times while I lived there.

"On Sept. 16, 1992, the police in New York City held a rally that spun out of control. The cops wanted a new collective-bargaining agreement, and they were angry at Mayor David Dinkins for proposing a civilian review board and for refusing to issue patrolmen 9mm guns. More than a few of them tipsy or drunk, the cops jumped on cars near city hall and blocked traffic near the Brooklyn Bridge. According to some witnesses, they waved placards crudely mocking Mayor Dinkins, the first black mayor of New York, on racial grounds, while at the same time chanting "Rudy! Rudy! Rudy!" to welcome Rudy Giuliani, the crime-busting former U.S. attorney who had arrived in their midst to shore up his political base.

"It is not clear Giuliani knew exactly what he was getting himself into—he later denied that he did—but video shows him wildly gesticulating and shouting a profanity-laced diatribe against Dinkins. The next day the New York newspapers were sharply critical of Giuliani (a Daily News editorial called his behavior "shameful"), and Dinkins, years later, accused him of trying to stir up "white cops to riot." At the time, Giuliani refused to back down or apologize for his remarks, saying only: "I had four uncles who were cops. So maybe I was more emotional than I usually am." Giuliani's performance that day lost African-American voters, some permanently, but it guaranteed the informal backing of the Patrolmen's Benevolent Association, the policemen's union, which helped him get elected mayor in 1993."

More on the El Rancho Drive-in in Kent, Washington

By Jack Brummet, Green River Valley Ed.

click to enlarge

There were three drive-ins in Kent, but we mainly went to one, because it was cheap. The El Rancho was our high school choice to see spaghetti westerns, scary movies like I Saw What You Did And I Know Who You Are, and monster movies like The Blob, Invasion of the Body Snatchers, and The Day The Earth Stood Still, or Billie Jack, Charles Bronson, and Clint Eastwood movies, or sometimes R-rated potboilers by Russ Meyers, like The Stewardesses, or the memorable Wife Swappers.

There were two other drive-ins in Kent: The Midway, on West Hill, which still exists, albeit as a swap meet location (the screen has long been dead), and the Valley Drive-in (which closed in the last two years). The El Rancho opened the year after I was born.

The fantastic marquee out front showed a gigantic cowboy on the range, cooking bacon in a cast iron skillet over a campfire. At $3.50 a carload, so you could see a movie for about seventy-five cents. Lining the street in front of the drive in were a row of stately Lombardy poplars. The El Rancho was torn down in 1975, but there among the concrete tilt-up warehouses and strip malls, a few of those poplars still exist, in between buildings and warehouses.

Drive-ins close every year at a quickening pace, but in this state (Washington) a few remain:

Samish Twin Drive-In Theatre

Auto Vue Theatre

Dayton Drive-in Theater

Puget Park Drive-In

Your Drive In Theatre

Rodeo Tri Drive-In Theatre
Port Orchard

Blue Fox Drive-in Theater
Oak Harbor

River-Vue Drive-In

Skyline Drive-In Theatre
Shelton (with an actual Indian totem pole at the entrance)

Wheel-In Motor Movie
Port Townsend

Vue Dale Drive In Theatre

Country Drive In Theatre

one of the two murals in front of the theatre

An aerial view of the El Rancho before it was demolished

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Joe Biden for President

click The Senator to enlarge

I don't talk or write much about Joe Biden for President, because, regrettably, he can't win. But if we chose who might actually make the best President--like a Bill Clinton with a stronger moral compass--Senator Biden would win hands down. Even his fellow candidates (opponents is not the right word...aren't we looking for the best and brightest as opposed to the most marketable?) seem to agree:


Saturday, November 24, 2007

snack bar ads, intermission countdowns, and the El Rancho drive-in

When I was growing up, the drive-in theatre was a cheap place for families to go. I remember the El Rancho drive-in in Kent, Wash., for many years charged $3.50 for "a carload."

Even back in 1960, the ads at the drive-in seemed corny. Here are some choice gems from the late 50's and early 60's.


Friday, November 23, 2007

Pope to eliminate modern music from the Vatican

click to enlarge

The Pope is about to overhaul the Vatican to enforce a return to traditional music.

Now that the Pope has reintroduced the Latin Tridentine Mass, he wants His church to go back to the Gregorian chant and baroque sacred music. In an speech to bishops and priests at St. Peter's Basilica, he said the church needs "continuity with tradition" in their prayers and music.

He referred to "the time of St Gregory the Great", the pope for whom the Gregorian chant is named. The Gregorian chant has become the prevalent form of singing by the new choir director of St Peter's, Father Pierre Paul.

The Pope has also ended the tradition, started by John Paul II, of having a choir drawn from churches all over the world, to sing Mass in St Peter's.

The International Church Music Review recently criticised the choir, saying: "The singers wanted to overshout each other, they were frequently out of tune, the sound uneven, the conducting without any artistic power, the organ and organ playing like in a second-rank country parish church."

Monsignor Valentin Miserachs Grau, the director of the Pontifical Institute of Sacred Music, which trains church musicians, said that there had been serious "deviations" in the performance of sacred music. "How far we are from the true spirit of sacred music. How can we stand it that such a wave of inconsistent, arrogant and ridiculous profanities have so easily gained a stamp of approval in our celebrations?"

The Pope favoured the idea of a watchdog for church music when he was the cardinal in charge of safeguarding Catholic doctrine.

According to my friend Daryle Conners, who produced a documentary on The Vatican, Cardinal Ratzinger, as he was known then, was referred to as Darth Vader by Vatican insiders. I believe it! I wonder if anyone has even had the heart to tell Pope Darth that in America we have such perversions as folk-rock masses? Or that I have heard folk music, gamelon, rock and roll, and jazz in the sacred confines of his sanctuaries in the states?

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Happy Thanksgiving -- The Band cover Marvin Gaye's Don't Do It at their final show

31 years ago this Thanksgiving, The Band played the last time on stage. I always think about the band on Thanksgiving because of that show and the movie.

Bill Graham put the show together (along with Thanksgiving dinner for the attendees). They brought along a few friends like Van Morrison, Joni Mitchell, Bob Dylan, Emmy Lou Harris, Neil Diamond, Muddy Waters, Neil Young, and others. Don't Do It was their encore. Martin Scorsese used it over the opening credits of the film The Last Waltz released in 1977. It is a great movie of an epic event by a great band (R.I.P. Rick Danko and Richard Manuel). Buy the DVD--on sale at Amazon for a paltry $7.99!


Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Obama's Dirty Secret, Part 2

Earlier this week (Obama's Dirty Secret), we talked about the Obama skeleton-in-the-closet rumor allegedly floated by the Clinton campaign. In New Hampshire yesterday, Presidential hopeful Senator Obama told high school students that when he was their age he was experimenting with illegal drugs and drinking alcohol. Admittedly, he wasn't encouraging the kids to follow in his footsteps ("what the hell you doin' sitting in here on a sunny day like this!? When I was your age...").

Obama stopped by a study hall at Manchester Central High School and answered students' questions about the war in Iraq and his education plan.

An adult asked about his time as a student, and Obama said: "I will confess to you that I was kind of a goof-off in high school as my mom reminded me," said the Senator. "You know, I made some bad decisions that I've actually written about. You know, got into drinking. I experimented with drugs," he said.

While Obama has discussed this before, you have to wonder if he wasn't prompted to bring it up one more time after the rumors the Clinton campaign may or may not have floated.

Photograph of Keelin Curran circa 1976

photo by Jack Brummet - click to enlarge

Former Press Secretary McClellan says Bush, Cheney, Rove, Libby, and Card lied and covered up CIA identity leak

In his forthcoming book, the former White House press secretary Scott McClellan says President Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney lied to the public about the role of White House aides in leaking the identity of a CIA operative, and were involved in the cover-up.

McClellan recounts a 2003 news conference in which he told reporters that strategist Karl Rove and I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby were "not involved" in the leak involving operative Valerie Plame.

"There was one problem. It was not true," McClellan writes, in an excerpt of the book released yesterday. "I had unknowingly passed along false information. And five of the highest-ranking officials in the administration were involved in my doing so: Rove, Libby, the vice president, the president's chief of staff (Andrew Card) and the president himself."

Painting: The Pugilist

click the boxer to enlarge

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Zappa Plays Zappa at Paramount Northwest

I went to see Dweezil Zappa's touring show and band tonight. I'd give it a mixed review. You have to remember, as always, that I suck as a music reviewer. For as much time as I spend going to shows, you'd think I could possibly sound literate, or knowledgeable, about music. And you would be wrong. That's why I keep these reviews brief.

There were some weird moments,
like the band playing along with a 70's video of Frank (where they stripped away all the multitracks except Zappa's voice and guitar). It was a little creepy (ala Natalie and Nat King Cole's "duets." Dweezil is an incredible guitarist, playing the same kind of speedy, mathematical style his father employed. He didn't play a lot of melodic material...a couple songs, maybe.

Zappa Plays Zappa is a mostly young band, augmented by the wonderfully charming showboating singer/guitar veteran Ray White (who has an amazing set of pipes). They played songs from the first album all the way to the end, but focused a lot on the late 70's/early 80's Ray White era music like Zappa in New York (including his intense vocal on The Illinois Enema Bandit), Tinsel Town Rebellion, and You Are What You Is. If I had a voice, I'd have chosen more the late 60's to mid-70's music.

They played a few older gems like Uncle Remus (one of my favorite songs of the night), Uncle Meat, San Bernardino, Pygmy in Twilight, and other classics.

It was a good show, and I might even go see them again. But, I have to admit, it didn't match the two times I saw Frank Zappa and the Mothers of Invention play at the very same theatre 30 some years ago (including one show where they played a set of Reuben and the Jets).

Monday, November 19, 2007

Phil's Hiccup Cure

I had the hiccups tonight, and I resorted to a hiccup cure I have been using ever since Philip Kendall taught it to me in 1973.

You put a standard issue table-knife in a glass of water and drink all the water leaving the knife in place. The knife somehow forces you to hold your throat in the right way to cure the hiccups. Since Phil taught me the cure, I have learned over the last 30 years or so, that you don't actually need the knife, but you have to drink the water as if the knife were there. . .you do a sort of chugging action on the water, and drink it in one fell swoop.

I don't know if this was a Kendall Home Remedy, or if he learned it in college, but it works (for me at least) 100% of the time.

As it turns out, the internet tells me that the knife cure is not unknown, or just a Kendall family home remedy. It actually appears in many lists of cures, including this comprehensive list of hiccup home remedies....
Digital rectal massage (see also).
Have a conversation with someone about something unrelated to the hiccups.
The rest of these cures are listed on a separate page, since they don't work if the person with hiccups knows about them.

Cures that involve a tool, prop, or chemical (not ingested)
Hic-cup *
(X) Chew gum.
Take a hot bath.
VNS Pulse Duo *
Jump out of a plane.
Breathe slowly into your shirt.
(X) Read about hiccups online. :)
Immerse your face in ice water.
Balance something on your nose.
Breathe through a wet washcloth.
Smell the fumes from a lighted candle.
Put ice bags on both sides of your throat.
Breathe into (and out of) a paper bag for a while.
Massage the back of the roof of your mouth with a cotton swab.
Spray ethyl chloride along the sternomastoid muscles on both sides.
Hang up side down on your bed and let the blood rush to your head.
Briefly stimulate of the posterior pharyngeal wall with a Yankaeur sucker.
Stand on a chair in a crowded room and say, “I have the hiccups!” loudly.
Touch your uvula gently with the handle of a spoon (breathe steadily to keep from gagging).
(For a baby with hiccups) Press a quarter coin lightly in the diaphragm area for a few seconds.
Lie down on your back with your mouth wide open; let your head hang over the edge of a couch or bed; breathe deeply and slowly.
Light a match, blow it out, then put the tip in a little bit of water (sulfur in the match calms the throat). Variants: put the match out by touching it to the water, use a whole book of matches, drink the water after dousing the match(es).
Slide a well-greased length of thin, flexible rubber tubing through one nostril to the point where it just barely touches the back of the throat (be careful not to hurt the sensitive lining of the nose). (This is known as "nasopharyngeal airway insertion," and is believed to work by stimulating the vagus nerve.)
Sit in a chair where you can lean far back, such as a recliner; close your eyes; tilt your head back as far as possible; open your mouth wide; inhale as much air as possible, and visualize a hook in the lower part of your throat and a ring farther up (that the hook could catch onto), then inhale even farther and visualize bringing the hook up and hooking it into the ring (see diagram courtesy Tom Pennington).
Cures that involve drinking some water
(X) Drink three big gulps of cold water.
(X) Pinch your nose shut while you drink water.
Gargle (this can also be done with mouthwash).
Take a big sip of water, bend over and swallow it.
Drink 9 to 11 small sips of water in rapid succession.
Drink a glass of water while someone presses your ears closed.
Drink two glasses of water slowly, at about half your normal rate.
Inhale deeply, swallow water, then exhale; repeat this three times.
(X) Drink water from the far side of a glass (so you're drinking upside-down).
Breathe in as deeply as possible, drink a glass of water while exhaling, then burp.
Drink water slowly from a glass covered with a napkin, hanky or other fine cloth.
Drink as much water as you can out of a glass glass of water with a metal spoon in it.
Hold your hands over your head, and have someone feed you a (10 oz.) glass of water.
Take a big gulp of water, lie down, and swallow the water while holding your nose shut.
Take 26 small sips of water, breathing between each one, and not focusing on the hiccups.
Take 15 - 20 swallows of the water while holding your breath with your nose pinched closed.
Drink some water while focusing your attention on a dot or other feature on the bottom of the glass.
Quickly drink eight ounces of water through a straw while sealing both ears by pushing on the tragus.
While applying pressure to the inside of the ear with your little finger, slowly take eight gulps of water.
Put a spoon in a glass of water; drink the water with the handle of the spoon resting on your forehead.
Put a knife in a glass (one made of glass) half full of water; drink all the water leaving the knife in place.
Hold your breath for ten seconds; then, without taking another breath, drink water for ten more seconds.
With your neck bent backward, hold your breath for a count of ten. Exhale immediately and drink a glass of water.
While holding a thin object (such as a pencil, chopstick, or straw) between your lips, drink a tall cold glass of water.
Sing along to your favorite CD while standing on your head and drinking a glass of water and wait for the hiccups to stop.
Plug your ears with your thumbs, squeeze your nostrils closed with your pinkies, and take several small sips of water from a glass.
SLURP a small amount of water from a full glass. (The SLURPING is the secret as it is the mix of air and water that stops the hiccup.)
Turn your left wrist clockwise until your palm is facing outward; from that position, pick up a glass of water and take three sips (over your wrist).
Take a big gulp of any beverage; while holding it in your mouth, massage your temples with your middle and index fingers; while massaging, swallow.
(X) Hold your breath, pinch your nose closed, swallow repeatedly from a glass of water until you have a drowning sensation, then take a deep breath and relax.
Take three slow, deep breaths; hold the third breath while drinking a big glass of water through a paper towel for as long as you can or until the glass is empty.
Take eight sips of cool water without breathing; on the ninth sip take a deep breath (from the diaphragm); let it out slowly; wait a few seconds; repeat if necessary.
Put a knife in a glass of water (blade end into the glass); drink the water without breathing, while keeping the handle of the knife constantly pressing against your face.
Hold your left ear with your right hand and your right ear with your left hand and pinch the lobes slightly, have a friend hold a glass of water to your mouth and drink it.
Cover a glass of water with a coaster leaving a crack just large enough to drink the water through; take a deep breath then exhale completely; drink all the water without taking another breath.
Standing but relaxed (leaning against a counter helps you relax), drink a full glass of warm water while concentrating; breathe slowly if necessary, but do not stop drinking to breathe; repeat if necessary.
Take a mouthful of water from a glass, tilt your head back, hold your nose, and swallow; repeat this, without stopping, as quickly as possible, until you've done it at five times in a row without hiccuping.
Put a spoon in an 8 ounce glass of water such that 1.5 inches of the spoon extends; place your tongue between the glass and the spoon so that the spoon presses on the top of your tongue; drink the water.
Fasten the spoon end of a teaspoon between the tines of a fork; place the handle end of the fork into a glass of water and rest the handle end of the spoon against your temple; drink (sip) from the glass of water.
With your mouth close to a stream of water flowing from a tap, use a narrow object (e.g., a pencil) to flick the water towards your mouth as fast as possible while drinking (in small gulps) as much of the water as possible.
Fill a plastic cup with water and place it on a table at around waist level; put your thumbs on your earlobes, bend down and pick up the cup by the rim with your pinkies; stand up straight, drink the entire glass, and put it back down.
Put a glass of water (half to three quarters full) on the floor of your kitchen or bathroom; get on your knees and bend down to the glass; place your top lip on the far side of the glass and tip the glass to start drinking; drink until your hiccups go away or you run out of water.
Take a deep breath; exhale as much as you can; slowly drink water from a glass until you cannot hold your breath anymore; stop drinking and start breathing again. (One reader suggests that the water be at room temperature, and that you drink the whole glass rather than drinking slowly.)
Intersperse drinking with breathing so that each inhalation and exhalation is interrupted by three or more swallows (that is, inhale a little, drink a little, inhale a little more, drink a little, etc., then exhale a little, drink a little, exhale some more, drink a little, etc.). The hiccups will stop immediately, but keep going for one minute or for a period greater that the period of your hiccup, whichever is longer.

Cures that involve eating or drinking something besides (or including) water (but not including drugs or alcohol)

Eat kim-chee.
Drink vinegar.
Eat a popsicle.
Eat a dill pickle.
Eat a marshmallow.
Swallow dry bread.
Swallow crushed ice.
Chew on mint leaves.
Drink dill pickle juice.
Drink bitters and soda.
Eat a spoonful of mustard.
Eat pickled habanero peppers.
Eat two tablespoonsful of honey.
Drink milk and eat peanut butter.
(X) Swallow a teaspoon of sugar.
Eat honey (but do not feed to infants).
(X) Eat a tablespoon of peanut butter.
Drink a shot of lemon (or lime) juice.
Suck on a hard candy (may take two).
Eat a Slim Jim and drink a Dr. Pepper.
Eat a really sour candy (e.g. Warhead).
Eat a teaspoonful of Damson Preserves.
Drink ginger tea with honey for 10 minutes.
Put sugar under your tongue and hold it there.
Drink any beverage until you can't drink any more.
Drink a shot of lime juice with Tabasco sauce added.
Eat a lemon or lemon wedge (as if it were an orange).
Quickly drink a cup of room temperature Coca-Cola.
Drink half a glass of pop and then make yourself burp.
Put bitters on a lemon wedge and then eat the lemon wedge.
Slowly eat a mandarin orange, sucking it against the soft palate.
Swallow a teaspoon full of sugar and strong vinegar in one gulp.
Take small, quick bites of something dense that is cold or frozen.
Drink a couple of swigs of white vinegar straight out of the bottle.
Swallow a spoonful of chocolate pudding (as if it were medicine).
Drink some soda (drink a second swallow if it doesn't work on the first one).
Squeeze a lime into a shot (not just a couple of drops) of bitters; down it quickly.
Drink tomato juice (especially if the hiccups were caused by eating things with a high pH)
Let a tablespoon of sugar held between your tongue and the roof of your mouth dissolve.
Take five fast, deep breaths; after the last inhale, take three sips of 7-up without exhaling.
Sprinkle a lemon wedge with sugar, top it with 1/3 teaspoon of bitters, bite into it and suck it dry.
Put a spoonful of sugar in front of your lips, inhale and suck in the sugar so that it hits the back of your throat.
Swallow three or more tablespoonsful of sugar (or Splenda), letting as little as possible dissolve in your mouth.
Drink one drop of peppermint essential oil mixed in a small glass of water (e.g. a shot glass); repeat if necessary.
Put sugar under your tongue and hold it there; if that doesn't work, breathe in, hold five seconds, breathe out, hold five seconds, repeat.
Put a heaping tablespoonful of JIF creamy peanut butter in your mouth; swallow all of it (or as much as you can without gagging) at once.
Immediately after placing a heaping teaspoon of sugar in your mouth, sip water slowly without inhaling for as long as you can; then stand relaxed.
(This from a bartender) Two drops of bitters; 2 oz. (2 shots) of sweetened lime juice; and fill glass (8 oz.) with soda water; drink in one continuous motion; wait 30-60 seconds.
Pour a packet of Sweet & Low into the palm of your hand and lick it, bite into a freshly cut lemon wedge, and swallow a teaspoonful of Angostura bitters. (The contributor, a bartender, asked that the name "T's Lick, Toss & Bite but Hick No More" be included with this cure.)
Eat a dill pickle while you lie on your back with your mouth wide open; let your head hang over the edge of a couch or bed; breathe deeply and slowly.

Drugs, herbs, and drinks that are reputed to cure hiccups

Smelling salts.
Ignatia amara.
Shot of red cordial.
Magnesia phosphoricum.
Drink Alka Selzer in water.
Alcohol-free extract of catnip and fennel.
Take anything that would make you sneeze.
A shot of bourbon followed by several forced burps.
Pepto-Bismol Chewables (take two, cherry-flavored).
Semen Arecae (seed of Areca catechu L., family Palmae)
Fructus Aurantii (fruit of Citrus aurantium L., family Rutaceae)
Put an Alka Selzer, salt, and lemon juice in a glass of water; drink.
Semen Allii Tuberosi (seed of Allium tuberosum Rottler, family Liliaceae)
Radix Aucklandiae (root of Aucklandia lappa Decne., family Compositae)
Lidocaine drops in the ears combined with sleep-inducing cough medicine.
Take repeated small sips of a full beer with a short pause between sips (a second or less).
Rhizoma Polygonati Odorati (rhizome of Polygonatum odoratum [Mill.] Druce, family Liliaceae)
Radix Ophiopogonis (root tuber of Ophiopogon japonicus [Thunb.] Ker-Gawl., family Liliaceae)
Quercus e glandibus (homeopathic remedy derived from acorns, manufactured by Schwabe, Germany).
Fructus Crataegi (fruit of Crataegus pinnatifida Bunge, and C. cuneata Sieb. et Zucc., family Rosaceae)
Rhizoma Atractylodis Macrocephalae (rhizome of Atractylodis Macrocephala Koidz, family Compositae)
Various prescription drugs, including Amphetamine, Amyl nitrite, Baclofen (lioresal), Haldol (haloperidol), Reglan (metaclopromide), Dilantin (Phenytoin, diphenylhydantoin), Orphenadrine, Ketamine, Carbamezapine, Reglan (metoclopramide), Quinidine, Atropine, Reversol (Tensilon, Enlon, Edrophonium).

Cures that are known to be hazardous

(X) Smoke a cigarette.
Thorazine (chlorpromazine)
Threateningly point a gun at the subject
Have someone deliver a swift punch to your abdomen.


Barack Obama's Dirty Secret

This didn't take long. The mud is being flung in the 2008 presidential race, with Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama trading sound bytes over rumours of a secret scandal and, now, Republican rivals of Mitt Romney, shocked by his sudden surge, are being forced to deny they are behind a nasty push-poll attack on his Mormon faith.

It is the Hillary/Obama tilt that is most fascinating, of course, since it looks like they have the most to lose. There has yet to be any speculation on exactly what skeleton may or may not be in Obama's closet. But we can guess, can't we? It has to be cocaine or pot, an affair (with either a man or woman), or some sort of payoff or bribe. Anything else can almost be laughed off. Hillary's camp, of course, can deny any involvement.

Obama can whine about the politics of personal destruction or that he is being "swift-boated." But in the end, he takes on a little water doesn't he? And his pathetic performance in the last debate doesn't help. Coming out of the previous debate, he had Senator Clinton on the run. But his answers to the (red herring) question on driver's licenses for illegals made him look like just like one of the boys. He couldn't give a straight answer.

Suddenly, Barack Obama has to deal with these vaguely alluded to personal scandals, without the benefit of an accuser. . .or even a specific charge against him! He has to deny unspecified transgressions, or go on the counterattack. However, it is hard to counterattack when your accuser denies ever floating the rumors. Yesterday, Obama demanded the Clinton campaign--or anyone at all--bring the charges out into the light of day. Remember when Senator Gary Hart dared reporters to air the charges against him? About two days later all we saw were pictures of him with Donna Rice on his aptly named boat, The Monkey Business. It will be interesting to see if this imbroglio fades away or picks up steam.

Video: The Grateful Dead perform Fire On The Mountain in Egypt

In this video, the Dead perform their great song Fire On The Mountain, interspersed with clips of the Merry Prankster George Walker planting a "Steal Your Face" flag on top of the Great Pyramid. Ken Kesey looks on the scene, wearing a 1972 "Field Trip - Oregon Dead" T-Shirt. Bonus content: Ken Kesey (a high school wrestler) contemplates training an Egyptian Olympic wrestling team.


Painting: Ike, President for 8 months when I was born

Click Dwight David Eisenhower to enlarge

The To-do List Blog

Sasha Cagen’s To-Do List blog has been released as a book. The to-do lists she compiles are interesting, bizarre, mundane, obsessive, and sometimes flat-out spooky. Her blog and book come from people who have emailed them to Sasha, opening up their underwear drawers, so to speak.

She has a cool video on YouTube, explaining the blog and list collection:


Saturday, November 17, 2007

A list: favorite Bob Dylan tunes

It's not easy to pick 20 tunes from the hundreds Bob Dylan has written and sung, but you can't go wrong with any of these songs.

Maggie's Farm
Stuck Inside Of Mobile With The Memphis Blues Again
I Want You
I Don't Believe You (She acts like we never have met)
My Back Pages
Like A Rolling Stone
Tonight I'll Be Staying Here With You
It's All Over Now Baby Blue
All Along The Watchtower
If Not For You
When I Paint My Masterpiece
Subterranean Homesick Blues
Gates Of Eden
It's Alright Ma (I'm Only Bleeding)
Love Minus Zero/No Limits
It Takes A Lot To Laugh, It Takes A Train To Cry
Ballad Of A Thin Man
Highway 61 Revisited
John Wesley Harding
Ballad Of Frankie Lee And Judas Priest
Lily, Rosemary, And The Jack Of Hearts
Idiot Wind
Tangled Up In Blue
Knockin' On Heaven's Door
Not Dark Yet
George Jackson
Only A Hobo
Sign On The Window
New Morning
Sad Eyed Lady Of The Lowlands
Temporary Like Achilles
You're Gonna Make Me Lonesome When You Go
Shelter From The Storm
Positively 4th Street

Friday, November 16, 2007

Jack inspects the grey & links to alien lore on all this is that

click to enlarge - Jack views an alien cadaver at Area 51

To read the 117 Alien Lore articles posted here, do a Google search on this blog...or click here.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Happy Third Birthday All This Is That!

All This Is That turns three years old today, having published 2,170 articles, poems, paintings, rants, histories, tales of alien lore and gowing up hillbilly, lists, stories, essays, and pranks. All of All This Is That is still online, from day one to this post.

Thanks for stopping by, and thanks for coming back! Love each other, and come November 4, 2008, throw the bums out! /jack in Vancouver, British Columbia


Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Latest Jeri Kehn sightings and photographs

Jeri Kehn Thompson hit the road one more time for one more try these last few weeks, attempting to revive her spouse's shockingly moribund campaign.

Once again, the photographs of Jeri Kehn overshadow those of actor turned Senator turned actor, Fred Thompson. You have to admit. . .telegenically, Fred seems to fit Richard Pryor's description of Ronald Reagan: "He looks like a d**k with clothes on,"

1: Jeri gets touched up before a local TV appearance: 2: On the air!

click to enlarge

At The Chicago Club, Jeri Kehn has a babe-off with some other women (guess who wins?):

Jeri Chats up a *cough cough* Fred Thompson fan. Note how closely this
supporter resembles many of the Republicans who seem to be getting
caught soliciting bathroom sex, gerbiling, and sniffing bicycle seats.

photo op at a Washington D.C. dinner

another photo-op at the dinner in Washington

Other recent Jeri Kehn sightings (with around 50 photograohs) are detailed in All This Is That here

Two more Jeri Kehn Thompson Photos

Jeri Kehn Thompson photo update No. 12--eleven new Jeri Kehn photographs
Two more Jeri Kehn Thompson Photos

A Jeri Kehn Thompson cameo appearance in a Fred Thompson campaign video, four new Jeri Kehn photographs, and a Mrs. Fred Thompson photo roundup
Three additional photos of Mrs. Fred Thompson a/k/a Jeri Kehn
Meet the Thompson Twins: Fred Thompson's wife, Jeri Kehn (with photos)
One More Jeri Kehn Thompson photo
Jeri Kehn Photos, Part 3: Three more photos of Mrs. Fred Thompson
More Jeri Kehn photos--> A follow-up to "Meet the Thompson Twins: Fred Thompson's wife, Jeri Kehn (with photos)
Not Jeri Kehn: people who are not Mrs. Fred Thompson, yet who often turn up in search engine searches on "Jeri Kehn"
Three new Jeri Kehn photos; links to Jeri photos; and Fred Thompson describes the beauty of having a hot first lady;
"New photographs of Jeri Kehn Thompson on the campaign trail (and a couple of her husband Fred too)
Three new Jeri Kehn photos; links to Jeri photos; and Fred Thompson describes the beauty of having a hot first lady;

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Painting: "even the President of the United States must sometimes have to stand naked."

Click Prez to enlarge

Giuliani: front-runner in name only?

The Mayor of 9/11 in drag

Citizen Rudolph Giuliani's hold on the front-runner slot is rapidly crumbling. It may not even matter that he leads in the national polls. . .he is being trounced in the two first primary states, Iowa and New Hampshire. Iowa is almost as key for the G.O.P. candidates as it is for the Dems. Conventional Wisdom says that if Senator Clinton takes Iowa, the race is virtually over.

Two new polls show Mitt Romney taking a widening lead in New Hampshire, the first battleground.

While The Mayor of 9/11 has held onto his lead in national polls and several states, Ex-governor Romney is now well ahead in both Iowa and New Hampshire, the two early-voting states that have always been key in determining the Republican nominee.

homina homina homina

Mr. Romney has now opened up a 12-point lead over Giuliani in New Hampshire, 32% to 20%, in a Boston Globe/University of New Hampshire poll released Sunday. The latest Marist College poll, also released yesterday gives him an 11 point edge. Senator McCain of Arizona is running third in both surveys.

Mitt Romney has consolidated his lead and the Republican contest is now a horse race, despite the surveys in September that suggested Giuliani had closed the gap in New Hampshire. Mr. Romney has been ahead in Iowa by double digits since summer. The Iowans caucus on January 3.

"Certainly [Romney] has to be seen as the front-runner now," a political scientist and pollster at the University of New Hampshire, Andrew Smith, said yesterday.

Bummer for Rudy. . .since he has recently been jawboning about winning New Hampshire. It now looks like Romney may sweep the first two states. If that happens, it would catapult Romney into the Michigan, Florida, and South Carolina contests later in January.

It can't help the Mayor of 9/11 that his former New York police commissioner, Bernard Kerik, (whom Mr. Giuliani recommended to President Bush as a secretary of homeland security in 2004) is in hot water. That pathetic recommendation not only brought heat down on the former mayor, but also piled more trouble on the already deeply troubled Bush Administration.

If you've been following the election here, you remember I predicted Romney would surge ahead. I'm just a little shocked it has taken this long.

At least Rudy had some good news this weekend...Pat Robertson's endorsement!