Showing posts with label aviophobia. Show all posts
Showing posts with label aviophobia. Show all posts

Friday, April 25, 2008

Face scans at airports are coming to the U.K.; it will happen here


A face recognition system will scan faces to match them against the biometric
chips on passports in England. Photograph: Image Source/Getty

In the United Kingdom, a new level of scrutiny is about to be added to the other indignities air travellers suffer from. I have been on roughly 80 different airplanes in the last 16 months, and have written here fairly extensively about the airlines and airport security, and the indignities to which we are subjected as we try to get from one place to the other[1]:

According to the U.K. Guardian:

"Airline passengers are to be screened with facial recognition technology rather than checks by passport officers, in an attempt to improve security and ease congestion, the Guardian can reveal.

"From summer, unmanned clearance gates will be phased in to scan passengers' faces and match the image to the record on the computer chip in their biometric passports.
Border security officials believe the machines can do a better job than humans of screening passports and preventing identity fraud. The pilot project will be open to UK and EU citizens holding new biometric passports.


"But there is concern that passengers will react badly to being rejected by an automated gate. To ensure no one on a police watch list is incorrectly let through, the technology will err on the side of caution and is likely to generate a small number of "false negatives" - innocent passengers rejected because the machines cannot match their appearance to the records.

"They may be redirected into conventional passport queues, or officers may be authorised to override automatic gates following additional checks. "

[1]

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Back to California



All of a sudden I am returning to Orange County, California. Despite being a Republican hotbed, I kind of like the place. Certainly the weather, anyway. I barely unpacked my bags from the last trip. The good parts: I can be in the pool by five o'clock if everything goes right, and I am upgraded to first class, where I can swill, stretch out, and watch a movie or read in comfort. I'll just about have enough time to unpack when I return home Wednesday night, to get ready for my trip to England next week.
---o0o---

Monday, March 24, 2008

Aviophobia: Pilot's gun discharges on US Airways flight



This little news item really hit home, since I just flew on U.S. Airways a week ago. From the WCNC (Charlotte) news:

Pilot's gun discharges on US Airways flight
by Diana Rugg

"A US Airways pilot’s gun accidentally discharged during a flight from Denver to Charlotte Saturday, according to as statement released by the airline. The statement said the discharge happened on Flight 1536, which left Denver at approximately 6:45am and arrived in Charlotte at approximately 11:51am.



"The Airbus A319 plane landed safely and none of the flight’s 124 passengers or five crew members was injured, according to the statement. It was a full flight. And airline spokeswoman said the plane has been taken out of service to make sure it is safe to return to flight.



A Transportation Safety Administration spokeswoman reached by WCNC Sunday said the pilot is part of TSA’s Federal Flight Deck Officer (FFDO) program, which trains pilots to carry guns on flights. Andrea McCauley said the gun discharged in the cockpit, but she could not release how the gun was being transported at the time. She did not release the pilot’s name, but said he was authorized to carry the weapon and was last requalified in the FFDO program last November.



A statement from TSA said the airplane was never in danger, and the TSA and the Federal Air Marshals Service are investigating the incident. WCNC reporter Diana Rugg is following up on this story. If you or someone you know were on that flight, please e-mail her at drugg@wcnc.com.

---o0o---

Friday, March 14, 2008

Blown by the TSA again/Aviophobia once again


The Bombardier 200, the 36 passenger turbo-prop used
on the runs between Seattle and Eugene and Portland, OR

I'm back from two nights, three days, four flights, and five cities (SF, Emeryville, Oakland, Eugene, Portland) on the road. Since I get frisked on every flight, I received the goosing four times this trip. And in San Francisco, I was once again blown by the TSA. They put you in a booth and jets of wind swirl around you for five seconds and stop. Then a red light comes on as the machine analyzes your scent for explosives, and allegedly, drugs, and maybe even the anarchist scent. I particularly resent being blown by the TSA, because it's clearly done by profiling. Being frisked, I am more sanguine about. Yeah, I have a large stainless steel femur and it sets off alarms. Fine. But when they put me in the blowjob booth, it's not because of my prosthetic hip but because I am not apparently a businessman.

I am a Vice President of something or other, but they have no way of knowing that. It doesn't cut any ice if you don't fit the traditional mold. Since I dress in Salvation army couture (aka northwest grunge/boho), have shaggy hair and a beard, and carry a pack instead of one of those tacky rolling suitcases, I get singled out. I resent the blowbooth and everything it stands for. The TSA would tell you they're doing a great job of profiling people, because nary a plane has been hijacked since September 2001. Au Contraire. They've been lucky. At least once I've accidentally carried a very sharp Gerber mini-magnum onto a plane undetected...even though I was singled out at the metal detector and frisked. But leave your computer or a bottle of water in your luggage, and the entire TSA cadre harangues you and points you out as an example to the other hapless security line goobs.

There were about seven or eight girls ahead of me in line, traveling together. I don't think most of them had ever flown before. The TSA was merciless because they hadn't taken their belts off, removed their shoes, placed their gels, liquids in a plastic bag in which none of the liquieds ir gels could exceed 3.4 ounces, removed their laptops and placed them in a bin separate from the bin for their shoes, belt, and liquids. Naturally, they also fluffed the "remove your coat, warm up jacket, sports coat, jacket and any other outer garments" and didn't finesse whether hooded sweatshirts were kosher or trefe. They seemed like sweet kids and it was a comedy of errors that became amusing to watch. They all kept apologizing. I helped the last two sort their gear in accordance with the latest protocols and we finally go through "security."

The flight from Eugene to Portland, although it is only about 30 minutes, was harrowing this time. We encountered King Hell turbulence ten minutes into the trip, just about as we hit 10,000 feet. The plane, probably ten times, dropped 100 feet or so, and at one point both dropped 100 feet and tilted almost sideways. Naturally, they cancelled the Horizon free wine and beer cart immediately--just when you needed it most!
---o0o---

Thursday, March 06, 2008

TSA Gangstaz

Thanks to Doc., who posted this video on his Random Blts blog.

As someone who has been male-assisted and patted down 86 times by the TSA in the last 14 months, I can relate to this vid.


---o0o---

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

The absurdity of excesive air traveler scrutiny



The New York Times blog on air travel--Jet Lagged--had a great editorial (The Airport Security Follies), on December 28th, by Patrick Smith, a commercial pilot and the author of Salon's "ask the pilot." Read the full editorial here.

"Six years after the terrorist attacks of 2001, airport security remains a theater of the absurd. The changes put in place following the September 11th catastrophe have been drastic, and largely of two kinds: those
practical and effective, and those irrational, wasteful and pointless. The
first variety have taken place almost entirely behind the scenes. Explosives
scanning for checked luggage, for instance, was long overdue and is perhaps the most welcome addition.


"Unfortunately, at concourse checkpoints all across America, the madness of passenger screening continues in plain view. It began with pat-downs and the senseless confiscation of pointy objects. Then came the mandatory shoe removal, followed in the summer of 2006 by the prohibition of liquids and gels. We can only imagine what is next."
---o0o---


Thursday, November 29, 2007

Heading to Austin...



Long time reader, friend for thirty-nine years, and someone who makes my year every time I get to see him [1], wrote suggesting I quit using the image of the crashed monoplane when I write about traveling, and instead use the cover of the Special Beat Service album by the English Beat. And he's right. As it happens, I and The English Beat will both be in Austin, Texas tomorrow, and we will be in the same room at Antone's. Oddly enough, it was Kev who introduced me to The English Beat, and their final album, Special Beat Service. I became a fan, and followed the careers of their offshoots and motherlodes, The Specials, General Public, and Fine Young Cannibals. And now it's all come full circle. And Kev, God bless his soul, said I should post the SBS album cover because "they all arrive safely as you always do."



Who'd have ever thought I would fly all around this world? Or that I might become discombobulated when I hadn't flown anywhere for a couple of weeks? I remember back to a time when an 84 hour bus or train trip was preferable to boarding a 'plane for a four hour flight.

I am still sorting this all out. Somehow I have moments when I miss being petrified about flying, and wonder if I haven't just been hypnotized by the Great Corporate Snake?

Anyhow, I will endeavor to write more from Austin in the next few days...and, of course, give a show report on my happy reunion with The English Beat.

Love,

Jack (boarding the 'plane for San Francisco and on to Austin in five hours)

[1] Like I did this June, when I reconnected with NYC and had a ball with Kev and our familial entourage stalking our old haunts, and new ones, in the East Village, Times Square, The Upper West Side, and Brooklyn, and marveling about the changes in us, and New York, and the world.
---o0o---

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Aviophobia, Part 26



As December approaches, I am taking stock of my last year. Incredibly, in the last year, I have traversed America on 70 different airplanes. You may recall, in the early weeks of the year, I was locked in the throes of acute chronic aviophobia.

Even when I lived in New York City, and San Francisco, it was all I could muster to get on a 'plane at all once a year to travel home to Seattle. Now, I routinely take multi-legged trips all over the map, switching 'planes, and hopping on turbo-props from one airport to the next.

Only a year ago, I needed Xanax, Vallium, or any sort of phramaceutical psychic soother to get close to an aiport. And those aids were often bolstered with a bloody mary, screwdriver, or glass of wine. The weeks leading up to a flight were filled with dread, and an increasing sense of doom the closer I got to boarding the "aircraft." Today? I barely even think about it until the night before I depart. Yeah, I usually only sleep a few hours that night before, but I have become sanguine about the flights. On the 'plane, I bring a load of distractions: whatever book I am currently reading, a Nintendo DS to play games, a laptop computer (that I almost never use in flight), a sketch pad or canvas to draw on, and a notebook for stories and poems.

It mostly works. I don't even think about my stainless steel hip setting off alarms and the subsequent indignity of friskings and patdowns. It's just part of the deal now. I am extremely uneasy in flight, but I've mostly sorted it out. I'll be traveling to England and Pune, India in the next couple of months, so I shouldn't get too cocky. . .but for the moment, I've tamped down the extreme anxiety and fear of flying to a level that's at least tolerable. And oddly enough, I am happiest on a turbo-prop, flying close to the ground, with the propeller whirring about five feet from my head. What's the deal with that?
---o0o---

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Aviophobia, Part 22

I don't know how much you fly, but have you ever noticed that when you're about to fly somewhere, everyone reminds you to "have a safe trip." I realize it's a sweet sort of blessing or good wishes for fliers. But wouldn't it make more sense to wish that when I was climbing the wheel of the car, where I might actually have an impact on the outcome of the trip? About the only thing in my power to do to have a safe trip on a plane is not freak out and break down the cockpit door and strangle the captain and first mate.

I just got back from a trip to Newport Beach, but I had one of my more unpleasant T.S.A. experiences of late. This time I had cut it really close--I got into the security line with about 40 minutes before my plane took off. I don't know if they do this at random, if I was profiled, or what, but the woman who checks your driver's license and boarding pass, just said "Come with me." And she led me to the special, elite, bad-ass TSA security section. Only a handful of people were there getting the once over. And it was quite a once over. When I set off the metal detector (due to having a stainless steel hip), I received the most thorough going over I have ever received. I have probably flown forty times this year, but never had this treatment. It wasn't invasive or anything, just paintstakingly thorough and methodical.



As I was being patted and frisked, two other TSA stooges went through my bags. One guy unfolded every shirt, unrolled every sock, and opened every bottle of liquid I was carrying in my TSA approved plastic pouch, and the other guy took my shoes over to a special machine (presumably one that sniffs plastique explosive), and after the shoes, he went over to another machine with my laptop, my smartphone, my Sennheiser headphones, my Nintendo DS, and my iPod, and gave them some sort of electronic scan.

By the time I got to the gate, they had closed the doors. I could get another flight by paying $400, or I could hope for the best and go standby two and a half hours later.

Selah.
---o0o---

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

OK, I may complain about aviophobia and being in Newport Beach. . .




. . .but this afternoon, is not so bad. I was in the pool fifteen minutes after landing. I swam for a while hit the hot tub, and then worked for a couple of hours, and now I am off to walk to a great Mexican grill a mile and a half from here (the dreaded NB Radisson). They grill snapper, squid, and these incredible fat, juicy shrimp marinated in lime and herbs and serve them with a fantastic jicama-radish-mesclun salad, perfect chipotle beans, a stack of fresh, warm corn tortillas, and salsa that is on a par with those at La Carta de Oaxaca. Oh, and ice cold Pacifico on tap. The last time I was there, dessert was grilled pineapple sprinkled with lime and a sort of turbinado sugar that carmelizes with the lime. When I come back I can work on some poetry. Life could be worse. If my family was with me, it might even be living.
---o0o---

Monday, July 23, 2007

Poem: Landing, or, Aviophobia, Part 26



The plane eases down from 36,000 feet
And as the ground rises up,
My aviophobia dissipates.

The closer we get, the better I feel
Even though earth, and not the air
Is most likely to do me in.

I could maybe handle falling 36,000 feet
In a screaming jet moulting its parts.
It's that last foot that does you in.

The landing plane could flip head over teakettle,
And burst into technicolor flames
As it cartwheels to a stop down the runway,

When I'd use my lifeless seatmate's
Head as a stepstool to vault
From the twisted wreckage,

And I would still sigh
With relief when my ankles broke
As my feet touched mother earth.
---o0o---

Friday, July 20, 2007

Another pathetic travel day

Jack writing in from Austin, Texas. Getting here was not easy. . .There were thunder storms all over the tri state area, hundreds of planes were cancelled, and the ones that weren't were stacked up waiting to land and take off.

My plane from Boston was two hours late, and I was about to miss my connection in Newark. So, our assistant in Seattle rigged up a plan where I would wait at the airport until 9:30 (my original plane was at 5:30), grab a plane to Cleveland that would take me to Fort Lauderdale, Florida, where I would wait two hours and hop on a plane to Dallas and then another plane to Austin and arrive in the morning around 10:30. But at the last minute they found a seat on another plane heading to Newark, and I made my connection--because it was two hours late. And I finally arrived in Austin at 1:30.



Of course, I was too wired to go to bed, so I walked over the warehouse district and had a beer. And now I am back in another grim corporate hotel. Hoping to sleep five hours. But all that aside. . .it doesn't matter, because I am here in one of my favorite cities in the world, albeit for about 36 hours. I am going out for music tomorrow night. About which, see the next post. And this one was supposed to be about hobo drawings...so let's get started!
---o0o---

Thursday, May 31, 2007

The "TB Dude" Speaks Out


The T.B. Dude And Wife


Everyone's up in arms about the TSA/the border inspector who allowed the TB "typhoid Annie" into the U.S. Especially me. And all the 80 year olds with his replacements. . .as the drug smugglers and others waltz right up the jetway. As I stepped onto the 737 in California last night, I had been frisked and patted down 12 times by the TSA times this month alone (due to my stainless steel femur).[1] And yet this guy, teeming with deadly cooties gets passed right onto the plane. Even though the "system" had flagged him as a risk:


An Associated Press article today said: "A globe-trotting Atlanta lawyer with a dangerous strain of tuberculosis was allowed back into the U.S. by a border inspector who disregarded a computer warning to stop him and don protective gear, officials said Thursday. The inspector has been removed from border duty."

From ABC News: Andrew Speaker has asked for forgiveness from the airline passengers he exposed to a rare strain of tuberculosis, and told ABC's Diane Sawyer in an exclusive interview that he has a tape recording of a meeting with health officials that he claims will confirm his view that it was all right to travel in his condition.

Germs Lurk on Planes, Trains and Buses

Tuberculosis -- Are You at Risk?

"He says he wants everyone to know how he made the decision, why he felt so strongly that it was not endangering anybody else and [is] also asking forgiveness of those onboard who are now having to be tested," Diane Sawyer said after spending an hour with the TB patient and his wife, Sarah Speaker, at the National Jewish Research Center in Denver, where he is currently in isolation.

"He talks at length about the decision first of all to go abroad, to hold his wedding abroad, and … there is a tape recording of the meeting that he had with health officials, and they say it confirms completely their view that it was all right for him to travel," Sawyer said.

You can see a video of Diane Sawyer on her interview here.

[1] Let me also note that I have now been patted down and frisked by the same TSA agent in Newport Beach three different times. He stands out in my mind, because of all the searches I get, his are the most, shall we say, extensive or intensive? This guy is thorough, and I started wondering this time if he doesn't enjoy his work a little too much?
---o0o---

Friday, May 11, 2007

Aviophobia Update



You may have read here that I suffer from Aviophobia (A confession: How I slipped through the NSA metal detectors. . .with some heavy metal!; Fear Of Flying, Fear of Dying; Poem: Falling; Poem: Notes On Flying; One More Reason Why I Am Scared Sh**less To Fly: Video Of Fixing A Jet's Wing With Duct Tape; Airline passenger restrictions, hip replacements, and why the Executive Branch goes unmolested, while I am scanned, probed, poked and patted down; Poem: The Icarus Factor).

Despite these fears, I now relentlessly fly all over the country. I just returned from a four flight trip up and down the West Coast (with a couple more flights on the horizon next week). Believe it or not, the flight on which I felt least anxious was on a turbo-prop (a Q 200) that brought me home to Seattle from Eugene. You'd think a propeller whirling ten feet from your head would cause someone like me a case of extreme jitters. Maybe it was taking four flights in three days that numbed me. Maybe I am now in such a constant state of alarm that the actual getting on the plane part is no longer even noticeably anxiety-triggering. I just don't know. There is something sweet and old school about flying these turbo-props. Thirty passengers, every seat is an aisle or window seat, free drinks, friendly cabin attendants, and the beauty of getting on and off the plane right on the tarmac. The plane clears out in two minutes, and your bags are right next to the plane. The plane gets in the air almost instantly and climbs fast compared to a lumbering 747. Even in this loud, vibration-heavy plane I am no longer a total basket case.

Now that I have several flights always booked, I at least no longer suffer a two week long build-up of anxiety, or a near catatonic shutdown on the actual day of the flight. The one thing I can't tell is if I am healing myself or if I have become utterly numb, and my brain has just shut down most of that aviophobic input. Whatever the case, it is easier to fly. I think. I am building up my frequent flyer mileage at an amazing rate! And what do you get with frequent flyer miles? More flights!

I should mention that on every single flight I take, my bags are scrutinized, and sometimes unpacked, and I am gone over with the wand, and then "patted down." My prosthetic hip sets off metal detectors. So on this week's trip, I was frisked four times. Unlike a lot of my fellow passengers, I am pretty sanguine about the pat-downs. Many other people become quite surly during this procedure. I don't know if I am being a nice guy about it, or, again, am I now numb?
---o0o---

Monday, May 07, 2007

Poem: The Icarus Factor

I wrote this as I was approaching John Wayne Airport in Santa Ana, California tonight. I'll get the chance to do a lot of descents over the next three days, as I go from Orange County to Berkeley, CA to Portland, OR to Eugene, OR and then back to Seattle.


The Icarus Factor


As the plane begins to descend
My anxiety evaporates

Whatever happens from here on
Is all good

It's a paradox
The closer the ground

The better I feel
And while the ground itself

Is most apt to do me harm
The nearer I get to mother earth

The sweeter
Life is.
---o0o---