Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Can You Hear Me Major Toms?




Our tattered space shuttle, spinning 220 miles overhead, shed a few unexpected parts when it took off. . .tile, insulation, and the like. A chunk here, a tile there, and pretty soon you're talking real trouble.

Yesterday, they sent astronaut Steve Robinson on an extra-vehicular spacewalk to pull out two chunks of "gap filler," (space-caulk?) that were dangling from the shuttle: Mission Accomplished.

NASA, however, in the news this morning, said that they may need another walk, because a "thermal blanket" outside the craft had been somehow compromised.

NASA seems to be whistling in the dark on the matter of our deconstructing shuttle. I wonder just what the astronauts are thinking?

A couple of days ago, I saw a bumper sticker I liked on an old car:

Honk if anything falls off

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The Time I Got Drunk With Roy Rogers

In July 1971 I had just graduated from Kent Meridian High School. My Uncle Gould (1919-1988) and Aunt Henriette Brummet (the bride he brought home from Germany in WW II) invited me to their ranch in the desert between and east of Los Angeles and San Diego. They grew avocados. I had never been outside the northwest before. A 25-hour Greyhound ride deposited me in Oceanside. Road runners scurried in front of the jeep as we drove up to the house which was circled with orange trees. I spent my days swimming in their pool and driving their jeep, and hiking in the barren, rolling hills. I drove to the nearby observatory at Mt. Palomar [1] one day, where the students and scientists gave me the grand tour.

My Aunt and Uncle gave me a choice: we could go to Disneyland or visit Tijuana. I chose Tijuana, of course, and made the first of many trips to Mexico.

Gould had retired from the Army and was able to go to El Toro, and use the P.X. and officers club. We went there twice for dinner. My long hair was just as popular with the retired officers as it was with my Uncle.

The Vietnam war raged on under President Nixon. I had recently been trained as a draft counselor, and had applied to my draft board for consideration as a conscientious objector [2]. Needless to say, this did not sit well with my uncle. After jousting the first couple of nights, we finally reached a most tentative impasse; an armed truce.

Most days, my Uncle worked the ranch, and my Aunt worked at her beauty parlor in Bonsall. I was on my own. My Aunt's mother--Muti--was there and we spent our days swimming, puttering around the house, picking avocados and oranges, and drinking beer. We knew about five words of each other's language, but made it work. She called me the milch-brudder (because I liked milk) and I called her Bier-frau because every day at 5:00 she brought out the stoneware mugs and poured the first of several Lownbraus as we sat in chairs and watched the sun slowly recede over the dusty ochre hills.

Out in the orchard (or whatever they call an avocado plantation) one day, Uncle Gould and I bumped into Roy Rogers, whose estate bordered my uncle's ranch. I was a little in awe, of course, I had grown up watching Roy, Dale, Trigger and Bullet Saturday mornings.

My Uncle was going into town for parts and Roy decided to join us. We jumped in a dusty station wagon and headed down the long trail that led to the road into town.

After making various stops in town, and waiting as Roy signed autographs for a family of tourists, we hit the package store where my Uncle purchased various potions, including a few bottles of Mateus [3], one of which we corked and passed back and forth on the ride home. Roy told us a story about a couple of movies he had starred in with Trigger.

I was not an experienced drinker. Yes, I got drunk with Roy Rogers, but to the best of my recollection, he remained sober as a judge. I was shocked when one of them lobbed the empty Mateus bottle out the window into an arroyo. I did not make a total ass of myself or demand to be taken to see Trigger at the Roy Rogers Museum (I would go there later in the week).

I know--you all expected me to tell you a story about how we got trashed and headed into a San Diego bordello. We didn't. All I really remember is that Roy was a sweet man who told some great stories. He was remarkably upbeat for a guy whose life was marred again and again by tragedy.

We saw Roy Rogers a couple more times while I was there, but nothing memorable happened. He was just a very nice, corny guy with a heart of gold. Look him up on the internet. Roy starred in dozens of horse operas (that is, low budget films) and had a long-running show on television. His excellent country recordings in the 30's and 40's with the Sons of the Pioneers became best sellers. You may have heard "Cool Water" and "Tumbling Tumbleweeds." The music is solid roots Americana (I have two of their albums on my iPod). Roy also recorded a wonderful LP about Pecos Bill, with song interludes by the Sons. I had a dub of that album and played it many times for my children Colum and Claire. I don't think I even told them Roy and I spent a little time together in the desert.

[1] Palomar was famous because the the (5.1 m) Hale Telescope (f/3.3)-- was the world's largest telescope for 45 years (1948-93).

[2] In the end, the Draft Board never gave me a hearing. I had already sent them a copy of The Bible and numerous other documents, as well as a long essay on why I didn't believe in making war. It's just as well my case never came up because it was always difficult for me to be 100% conscientious objector. It was The Nazis that poked holes in my philosophy. I could never truly reconcile my pacifism with the fact that shortly before I was born we had to stop The Nazis. To successfully press your case as a C.O., you needed to be against all war under any circumstance. I could never make that complete leap. In the end, my draft lottery number was 186, and I was off the hook unless President Nixon went bananas and escalated the war. By 1972 that was no longer an option for him, since he would spend the rest of his Presidency embroiled in the Watergate Cover-up.


[3] A Portuguese "rose." Portugal actually makes some great wines (their No. 1 customer is France), but Mateus is not one of them. It is probably not even good enough to call a gateway wine. But this was 1971.
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Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Further Ruminations On Enumclaw And Beastiality

Click image to enlarge [1]


Beastiality is not kosher [2] according to The Pentateuch:

"Do not have sex with any kind of animal.
You would become unclean by doing so." [3]

[1] Illustration from The Brick Testament. Is that bunny in line, or what?
[2] According to the same source, of course, neither is shellfish, pigs, or menstruating women (until they have waited seven days, ritually bathed, and sacrificed two animals at the temple. In fact, any chair a woman in menses sat in was unclean.

[3] Leviticus 8:23
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The Posies Interviewed By London Rock Daily



Do you feel that the time away, and the work you and Jon have done with REM, Big Star and your solo stuff has actually grown the reputation of The Posies?

KS: The time off didn't really harm anything, if anything it made us appreciate what we have, it seems to have made some people appreciate what we do and because we've not been that available it gives the air of being something pretty special this time around. We feel quite appreciated now! And I think those old records have a sort of persistance - they're records that people recommend to each other on a frequent basis. They're 'best kept secret' records. And I was surprised when I saw a recent sales report of 'Frosting On The Beater' (the band's 1993 classic) - it sold quite a lot in those intervening years.

Click here for full interview.

Click here to listen to an acoustic live track.
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Painting: The Grey Landing Party



The Grey Landing Party
Click image to enlarge

Monday, August 01, 2005

Poem: Liftoff


For months, tarped and strapped
I sat on the pad at Cape Canaveral.
The NASA crew held me tethered
At T Minus Ten and counting
The last seconds before mounting
The sky. I achieved ignition
To staff the next shuttle mission
(The first true solo flight) and weathered,
With no Icarus wings, the pitch and roll
And re-entered the atmosphere charred. I flapped

Back in, soot-covered, alive and hale
And showed that it could be done
By sheer will (and some astral projection).
My aorta and skin were checked and sealed
Before I lifted off, wobbled and peeled
Away from Florida with a silent scream.
The G-force sent me into a dream
From which I emerged with a quick injection.
In seconds I had zipped past the clouds, gone
Weightless and laughing at the inhuman scale.
---o0o---

Sunday, July 31, 2005

The Art of Retouching

click image to enlarge


Greg Apodaca has worked as a digital retoucher since 1995. He is talented (and plays rock and roll to boot).

Apodaca could make Ernest Borgnine look like George Clooney or Rosie O'Donnell look like Catherine Zeta-Jones. He has some interesting examples on his website (click on the title of this post). It also makes me wonder about the examples he can't show us!!! This is the guy you go to if you need to look scrumptious.
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Saturday, July 30, 2005

Color Perception & Optical Illusions

click image to enlarge

Square A and Square B are indeed the same color (I checked in Photoshop tm).

Go to this site to see some of their other illusions, and even buy a printed copy if you'd like... (click on the title to link there).
---o0o---



Friday, July 29, 2005

Helen Thomas Vows To Commit Suicide If Dick Cheney Runs For The Presidency


Veteran wire reporter/longtime White House Press Corps member (and one of my favorite reporters) Helen Thomas, is vowing to 'kill herself' if Dick Cheney announces he is running for president.

The newspaper HILL first reported per promise Thursday. "The day Dick Cheney is going to run for president, I'll kill myself," she told the HILL. "All we need is one more liar."Thomas added.

"I think he'd like to run, but it would be a sad day for the country if he does."
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Follow-up: The Sasquatch Turns Out To Be A Buffalo


Following up my earlier post on the DNA testing of some alleged Sasquatch hair. . .

David Coltman, a University of Alberta geneticist who performed a DNA test on a hair sample, confirmed that it was 100-per-cent bison (Bisons are quite tasty, by the way). '

The sample was found in a bush in Teslin, Yukon, near the British Columbia border where people reported hearing and seeing a large, hairy creature crash through their backyards.
---o0o---

Gamebox 1.0 - The Movie You've Been Waiting For

Gamebox 1.0 is an apparently unintentionally funny movie about a videogame tester who ends up trapped in a game. It's a thriller diller, with an even flimsier premise than the usual B Movie. Bonus: Topanga from "Boy Meets World" appears briefly in the trailer... Click on the title to see the trailer (you'll need to have the dreaded QuickTime tm installed).
---o0o---

There He Goes Again: POTUS Gives The Finger To The Press

This is a video of The President appearing to give a pack of reporters the fnger when he thinks he is out of their sight. The video appears to be the live feed from MS NBC. Click on the title of this post to look at the footage.
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