Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"
If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch!
"Give religious tracts (preferably Jack Chick) to each passenger.
Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
Ask each new passenger if you can push the button for them.
Draw a square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
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