WASHINGTON D.C. - President George W. Bush had little to smile about during the annual White House Correspondents' Association Dinner. His demeanor turned noticeably chilly during Stephen Colbert's savage send-up. Even die-hard leftists and yellow-dog Democrats felt that Colbert had crossed the line. The President, however, had much more on his mind. According to White House sources speaking to All This Is That, The President and Vice-President met in the Oval Office two hours before the dinner, where Dick Cheney tendered his resignation from the office of Vice-President.
The sources said the Vice-President was emotional and adamant. "I just can't take it any more, " Cheney reportedly told the President, "For Godsakes, look at me! I'm in the Oval Office crying. I don't f***ing need this. I'm not running for anything. I just can't take two and a half more years. "
The President talked with the Vice President for half an hour, trying to convince him to stay on. When Cheney began sobbing uncontrollably, The President erupted and slapped him. "Damnit Dick--start by acting like a man! Who taught me to be tough? You, Dad. Now I won't have you in here blubbering and I sure
as hell won't have you resign. Not now. Not ever. They may carry you out feet first, but you're here for the duration. Now we're going to the dinner tonight, and I expect you to be my Rock of Gibraltor. Go home and pull yourself together. "
The Vice President left, but was dubious about changing his mind. "I just don't see an upside in this for either of us Mister President."
Ten minutes before the Correspondent's dinner The President met in an ante-room with Cheney, who told him "I'm with you."
Editor's note: Several Dick Cheney hunting jokes were performed during the course of the evening--including one during a skit by The President himself. Cheney appeared calm during the dinner, even briefly chuckling at jokes aimed at his accident and possible prosecution in the Plame case.
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The sources said the Vice-President was emotional and adamant. "I just can't take it any more, " Cheney reportedly told the President, "For Godsakes, look at me! I'm in the Oval Office crying. I don't f***ing need this. I'm not running for anything. I just can't take two and a half more years. "
The President talked with the Vice President for half an hour, trying to convince him to stay on. When Cheney began sobbing uncontrollably, The President erupted and slapped him. "Damnit Dick--start by acting like a man! Who taught me to be tough? You, Dad. Now I won't have you in here blubbering and I sure
as hell won't have you resign. Not now. Not ever. They may carry you out feet first, but you're here for the duration. Now we're going to the dinner tonight, and I expect you to be my Rock of Gibraltor. Go home and pull yourself together. "The Vice President left, but was dubious about changing his mind. "I just don't see an upside in this for either of us Mister President."
Ten minutes before the Correspondent's dinner The President met in an ante-room with Cheney, who told him "I'm with you."
Editor's note: Several Dick Cheney hunting jokes were performed during the course of the evening--including one during a skit by The President himself. Cheney appeared calm during the dinner, even briefly chuckling at jokes aimed at his accident and possible prosecution in the Plame case.
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