D.C. Bar disagrees with rules on sex with customers, considers masturbation and other alternatives

The leadership of the Bar Association in Washington, D.C. objects to rules barring sex with clients outright, according to a news story from The Associated Press.

The bar insists their objection to a rule proposed for D.C.'s 80,000 lawyers doesn't mean they approve of lawyers engaging in sex acts with their customers. No, no, no!

Instead, of an actual rule, the bar would like a warning that sleeping with clients could create a conflict of interest.

"At the very least," one spokeswoman said "sleeping with the clients can lead to problems with billings. It's hard to perform aggressive billing on a company when you've been thrashing around naked all night with one of the principals. Or their husband or wife!"

Another spokesman insisted off the record that the bar was considering urging its attorneys to use masturbation as a first line of defense. "It may not solve the problem, " the spokesman said, "but it takes the heat off for a while." "We've also asked our attorneys to make wider use of the many commercial escort services available in the Washington-area. "
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