The LORD called Jonah out one day
To head to Nineveh where "wickedness is on the rise"
Instead of going Jonah hit the bricks
And sailed to Tarshish and hoped the LORD
Wouldn't notice his insubordination
But the LORD sent down a three alarm
Blast of a mighty wind that sucked up
Everything in its path like a King-hell vacuum
And left behind mud rubble and ashes
And roiled a tempest in the sea
So the ship groaned and creaked
Tossed to the top of waves and into the trough
Parts of the boat broke off
The mariners were sorely spooked
And prayed to their gods
They hurled cargo and ballast over the side
So they wouldn't have to fight the boat itself
Jonah was hiding in a closet
And was sleeping when the captain found him
What meanest thou, O sleeper?
Arise and call upon thy God, if you have one
So God will think kindly and we might not perish
The sailors said let us cast lots so that we know
Who did what to bring this evil down around our heads
And when they cast lots the lot fell upon Jonah
Tell us they asked why this evil has befallen us?
Who are you what do you do?
And from what people do you hail?
Jonah said I am a Hebrew and I fear the LORD
Who made the sea and the land
And the men were petrified now and said
What have you done?
They knew he had scampered off
Ducking He who cannot be ducked
What do we do for you to calm the sea for us?
He said toss me into the water
And the sea will be calmed
This typhoon is here because of me
The men rowed like madmen to land the boat
But the sea fought back
We beseech you LORD save us
Why should we go down with the ship
Because Jonah burned you?
They grabbed Jonah and hucked him into the sea
The wind stopped and the water stilled
Until it was as calm as a painted boat
On a painted sea
A great big fish breached the calm waterline
And sucked Jonah into its maw
And Jonah was in the belly of the beast
Three days and nights and prayed to God from the belly
You cast me deep in the midst of the seas
And the water flooded around me
And the billows and Your waves passed over me
My soul fainted within me and I remembered you LORD
I sent out prayers to you
The LORD sent down some celestial Ipecac
And the great big fish vomited Jonah
And he fell upon a sandy beach
And the LORD said one more time
Go to Nineveh that great city
And testify like I told you
Jonah trudged three days to Ninevah
And became the town crier
In forty days he said Nineveh shall be overthrown
So the people of Nineveh took the LORD at his word
From the lowest to the highest
They fasted and put on sackcloth
And tried to make amends
The king of Nineveh rose from his throne
Put on sackcloth quit shaving and and sat in ashes
And he said let neither man nor beast herd nor flock
Taste anything not food or water
Let man and beast be covered with sackcloth
And cry mightily unto God
And turn away from evil
In hopes God will turn away from his fierce anger
And God saw they turned from their evil ways
And God Himself repented of the evil
He said he would do unto them
But it displeased Jonah and he was very angry
When I fled to Tarshish I thought you a gracious God
O LORD take my life from me
For it is better for me to die than to live
The LORD said doest thou well to be angry?
Jonah left the city and sat on the east side of the city
And built a hut so he could see what would become of the city.
The LORD God prepared a gourd
And sent it over Jonah like a shadow to deliver him from grief
And Jonah was glad for the gourd's presence
But the next morning the LORD smote the gourd and it withered
And when the sun did arise God called up an east wind
And the sun beat upon the head of Jonah
And he fainted and wished to die and said
It is better for me to die than to live.
And God said to Jonah are you angry about the gourd?
You have pity on the gourd which you did not make
or labor for and the gourd grew in a night
And perished in a night
And should not I spare the great city Nineveh,
Where there are 120,000 people
That cannot discern between their right hand and their left hand
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