Danger Dog! The New Homeland Security Threat Rating System

Someone at Wired (a magazine I haven't read for about 10 years) came up with a hot-dog based security threat rating system. The last time I flew to Texas, about two weeks ago, we were at Orange. But that was really the Chicago Dog level.

Notes on the Hot Dog System:

1. Fried, Bacon-Wrapped Tijuana Danger Dog. In the Mexican States of Nayarit and Jalisco (where I have visited several times), and, possibly in Baja, these are called Tocino Dogs. Our old pal and restaurateur, Jorge, often peddled these in Bucerias from a cart at fiestas. I have also seen Tocino Dogs sold on the streets of Los Angeles, around Staples Center when I have attended E3.

2. Chicago Dog With Everything. Have you ever had a Chicago Dog? A Hot Dog on a nice roll, with mustard, that neon green relish they use, a slice of pickle, celery salt, sport peppers (a pickled chili of medium hotness), mustard, and tomatoes.

3. Hebrew National Kosher Dog With Relish and Onions. Not quite a traditional NYC dog, which usually has chili onions, mustard, and sauerkraut.

4. Microwaved Oscar Meyer Wieners on White Bread Roll with Ketchup. A really bad American dog.

5. Steamed Tofu Pup on Sprouted Wheat Roll. Often called a Not Dog in the vegie/vegan world. Yuk!

Here is the current, laughable, National Security Threat Level System:



And, finally, the Sesame Street threat level system:


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