illustration by jack brummet
By Pablo Fanque
All This Is That National Affairs Editor
The Justice Department moved today to drop all charges against former Senator and current douchebag Ted Stevens of Alaska, who just barely lost his seat last year after being convicted on seven felony counts of ethics violations.
Stevens faced serious prison time over the charges. But the judge, Emmet Sullivan, has been reluctant to stick him in the hoosegow, because of the earlier accusations of prosecutorial misconduct.
In an utterly depressing and incredible new development (about which rumors have bounced around for months), Justice Department lawyers told a federal court that they had discovered yet another instance of prosecutorial misconduct (it must have been egregious!) in the case and asked that the convictions be voided. Attorney General Eric F. Holder Jr. said that "in the interests of justice," there would be no new trial.
And, now, the hunters become the hunted (there may be a little justice after all). It appears that at least some of the prosecutors who tried Stevens on ethics charges would now face ethics charges themselves and be sent to a "don't drop your soap" federal prison.
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Pablo, it looks like you'll be travelin'. Story is AK GOP wants Begich to resign so that Senator "that sofa and shite was on loan for 5 years but not mine, oh, I just signed the checks but I tweren't aware of what I was payin' fer" Stevens can run for his old seat in a special election.
ReplyDeleteWhadda fug?
We get the government we deserve, don't we? I wonder if we will indeed see the return of the Senator? Will Begich bown down to the forces of insanity?
ReplyDeleteProbably...
I for one, heartily endorse Begich's resignation. This is Ted Steven's seat, and I welcome his triumphant return.
ReplyDeleteHopefully, Governor Palin can pull this one off. This would be a great first step in her road to the Presidency in 2012.
Pabs
Pablo, ubetcha also. But seriously, your dear evangelicabimbo's chances of winning the WH in 2012, or after, are slimmer than Ted "thems loaners" Stevens' ethics. I can appreciate her plans for a bigger house though, she's gonna need one. She and the dude have built brood of GED strivers who in turn are whelping hordes to awe the great white north.
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