I've been patted down 150 times to maintain the illusion of safety

Since 9/11, I have been patted down at airports here and abroad around 150 times. My stainless steel femur sets off the metal detectors every time I pass through them, except once in Eugene, OR. Here is an interesting sidebar to that story: when I didn't sent off the alarm, I told the TSA guy:

"Hey, this is weird...I always set off the alarm. Something's wrong with your machine."

He essentially told me "don't worry about it, and be on your way."

It's the only time in 9 years that I HAVEN'T been patted down!




Having been through it so many times, I am not unsympathetic to everyone who feels embarrassed or invaded. For my part, I am pretty inured to it now. Actually, I am probably just numb to it all. You just answer their questions and get through it as quick as you can. It takes two minutes usually, three at the most. I will admit, I have been tempted more than once when they give their little speech about searching you, to say "Hey, I actually like it, 'bro. . .it's kind of hot!" But the TSA guys are not the most humorous bunch of people I've ever met.



Since I had arthoplasty, I get to experience this close-up and personal shakedown every single time I ride an airplane (and twice, or more, if it is an international flight and you have to pass out of the "sterile" zone). Anyone who knows me could tell you I am the least likely candidate in the world to take down an airplane, due to a nearly maniacal fear of flying.




Finally, I would point out that the frisking is never that invasive...even when you get the special treatment and they look in every article in your bags (including looking at every page in every book, and turning on each iPod, camera, phone, and computer you have). In fact, they seem to go out of their way to not touch your "privates" or butt (or should butt be part and parcel of the privates?..certainly it's more private than public), which may be one reason the Christmas day crotch-bomber slipped through screening.


X-raying a crowd

Nearly everyone who has ever "examined" me has been professional and friendly, and even appreciative that I am petty sanguine about the whole operation. It's hard to get mad at them. . .they're earning $16 an hour the hard way. I have never met one of these guys who wasn't extremely nice. I watch other people become angry over the invasion, but it's really not worth the oxygen. As usual, the big problems lie further up the food chain. I don't mind the searches, but as recent events show, this may not be making us as safe as we once thought. One expert says the only really change since 9/11 is reinforced cockpit doors.

Other TSA/airport stories from All This Is That:

http://jackbrummet.blogspot.com/2008/06/full-body-scanners-cranking-up-at.html
http://jackbrummet.blogspot.com/2008/04/face-scans-at-airports-are-coming-to-uk.html
Aviophobia: Pilot's gun discharges on US Airways flight
Blown by the TSA again/Aviophobia once again
Aviophobia, Part 26 Airport Screeners Miss Fake Bombs 75% Of The Time
Aviophobia, Part 22
Poem: Landing, or, Aviophobia, Part 26
Aviophobia Update
Hello Austin! Goodbye Fear of Flying!
A confession: How I slipped through the NSA metal detectors. . .with some heavy metal!
Fear Of Flying, Fear of Dying
Poem: Falling
Poem: Notes On Flying
One More Reason Why I Am Scared Sh**less To Fly: Video Of Fixing A Jet's Wing With Duct Tape
Airline passenger restrictions, hip replacements, and why the Executive Branch goes unmolested, while I am scanned, probed, poked and patted down
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