A spooky herd of charlatans, pinheads, and miscreants: The 2012 Democratic and Republican/Tea Party Presidential Candidates

By Jack Brummet, Presidents Editor
with research by Pablo Fanque, National Affairs Editor

On Tuesday, November 6, 2012, we go to the polls (a misnomer now) for the 57th quadrennial presidential election.  About all that seems certain to us is that of the real candidates, Barack Obama, Newt Gingrich, and Mitt Romney will be running.  [ed's note:  you might take this with a few grains of salt--All This Is That completely blew our calls on both the 2004 and 2008 elections].  As far as we know, only Randall Terry, the pro-life activist/founder of Operation Rescue from New York, who jumped from the Republican Party to the Democratic Party [ed's note: why?] has actually announced.
 
We want to put up a list we can revisit once a month or so to keep track of the prospects.
 
The following people have sworn they will not run:
 

• Representative Dennis Kucinich of Ohio
• Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton of New York
• Former Governor Howard Dean of Vermont
• Former Senator Russ Feingold of Wisconsin
• Former U.S. Senate Nominee Sharron Angle of Nevada: "bottom line, no."
• Senator Scott Brown of Massachusetts: Says that he is running for re-election to the Senate.
• Former Governor Jeb Bush of Florida: he was asked whether the door remained closed on a run. "Yes", was his reply.
• Governor Chris Christie of New Jersey: Has many times rejected the idea of running for president, saying he has no desire to run and has more power to get things done as governor of New Jersey. "short of suicide, I don't really know what I'd have to do to convince you people that I'm not running."  But then, last week, he said he could win if he DID run.  In any case, give him props for the best denial.
• Senator Bob Corker of Tennessee: "absolutely not".
• Senator Jim DeMint of South Carolina: Told CNN "No, I am not."
• Governor Bobby Jindal of Louisiana: "I'm not being coy at all. I'm not running for president in 2012. Period. No ifs, ands or buts, no caveats." He says he wants to run for a second term as governor.
• Governor Bob McDonnell of Virginia: "I'm not running for anything. I'm thrilled to be governor of Virginia."
• Businessman Carl Paladino of New York: Said he is not running for president.
• Senator Rand Paul of Kentucky: A spokesman said "I can promise you that he is not running for anything."
• Representative Mike Pence of Indiana: Says he will not run, but expressed interest in the governorship of Indiana, saying that his "calling is closer to home."
• Governor Rick Perry of Texas: Has said "I don't want to be president of the United States. I'm not going to run for the presidency of the United States."
• General David Petraeus of New York: "I thought I'd said no about as many ways as I could. I really do mean no... I've tried Shermanesque responses... I've tried quoting the country song, 'What Part of No Don't You Understand?'... I feel very privileged to be able to serve our country. I'm honored to continue to do that as long as I can contribute, but I will not, ever, run for political office, I can assure you. And again, we have said that repeatedly and I'm hoping that people realize at a certain point you say it so many times that you could never flip, and start your career by flip-flopping into it."
• Senator Marco Rubio of Florida: "I wanted to be a U.S. senator, not a vice presidential candidate, not a presidential candidate".
• Representative Paul Ryan of Wisconsin: Said in an interview, "I'll give you as Shermanesque a quote as I can: I am not going to run for president. I'm just not going to do it. My head's not that big, and my kids are too small."
• Senator John Thune of South Dakota: On his official website, Thune stated: "I have received encouragement from family, friends, colleagues, and supporters from across South Dakota and the country to run for the presidency of the United States... at this time, I feel that I am best positioned to fight for America’s future here in the trenches of the United States Senate."
• Representative Allen West of Florida: "well of course not"

The following people have either formed exploratory committees, are actively visiting the early primary/caucus states, and beating the hustings for donations, and/or have not denied they are running:

GOP/Tea Party

 

• Newt Gingrich - former U.S. Speaker of the House of Representatives from Georgia
• Herman Cain - businessman and radio talk show host from Georgia
• Fred Karger - political consultant and gay activist from California
• Jimmy McMillan - perennial candidate from New York
• Buddy Roemer - former Governor of Louisiana
• Ex-Governor Mitt Romney
• Ex-Governor Mike Huckabee
• Congressman Mike Pence
• Governor Tim Pawlenty
• Ex-Ambassador John Bolton
• Ex-Governor Haley Barbour
• Senator John Thune
• Governor Mitch Daniels
• Donald Trump
• Ex-Governor Sarah Palin
• Ex-Senator Rick Santorum
• Congressperson Michele Bachmann
• Former Senator Judd Gregg
• Ex-Governor and U.S. Ambassador Jon Huntsman, Jr.
• Former Governor Gary E. Johnson of New Mexico
• Representative Steve King of Iowa
• Ex-Mayor Rudy Giuliani
• Ex-Governor Bob Riley
• Representative Ron Paul
• Ex-Governor George Pataki

 Democrats

•  Ex-Senator Mike Gravel of Alaska
• Ex-Congressman Alan Grayson
• Ex-U.S. Senate nominee Alvin Greene of South Carolina

Green Party

 

• Former Socialist Party VP candidate Stewart Alexander

Libertarian Party

 

• R. Lee Wrights
• Stewart Alexander

 "Independent" candidates

 

• Robert "Naked Cowboy" Burck,
• Joe Schriner

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