Drivers describe their accidents for an insurance company

By Jack Brummet, Folklore Editor

The following excerpts come from a Toronto insurance company's records of drivers' descriptions of their accidents. Allegedly.  Snopes.com calls this list's authenticity "undertermined." I've had this list for about ten years.  Snopes researched and wrote about the list last in March, 2011.  No. 20 is almost poetry.  .  .

1. The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go, so I ran over him.
2. The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions.
3. I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my hand through it.
4. I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.
5. A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.
6. A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
7. The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.
8. I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment.
9. In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.
10. I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up obscuring my vision. I did not see the other car.
11. I had been driving my car for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had the accident.
12. I was on my way to the doctor's with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way, causing me to have an accident.
13. As I approached the intersection, a stop sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.
14. To avoid hitting the front bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.
15. My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.
16. An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle and vanished.
17. I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat, I found that I had a fractured skull.
18. I was sure that the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the roadway when I struck him.
19. Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.
20. I saw the slow moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car.

---o0o---