List: The rules of combat

By Jack Brummet, List Ed.


This is a list combining several other lists of the rules of combat.  These various lists appear in several places, and it's impossible to determine who authored the originals.  At least one of them has been kicking around the internet since the BBS days. . .

The Rules of Combat

• The easy way is always mined.
• Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo.
• The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
• If it's stupid but works, it isn't stupid.
• Mines are equal opportunity weapons.
• A Purple Heart just proves that you were smart enough to think of a plan,
• stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive.
• Don't ever be the first; don't ever be the last; and don't ever volunteer to do anything.
• Five second fuses only last three seconds.
• It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.
• Recoil-less rifles aren't.
• Suppressive fire won't.
• Never draw fire, it irritates everyone around you.
• When in doubt empty the magazine.
• Never share a foxhole with someone braver then you are.
• Your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.
• If you can't remember, the claymore is pointed toward you.
• If you are forward of your position, the artillery will be short.
• The enemy diversion you are ignoring is the main attack.
• The important things are always simple.
• The simple things are always hard.
• If you're short of everything except the enemy, you're in combat.
• Incoming fire has the right of way.
• No combat-ready unit was ever passed inspection.
• No inspection-ready unit has ever passed combat.
• Teamwork is essential. It gives them other people to shoot at.
• If the enemy is in range, so are you.
• Tracers work both ways.
• The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
• Radios will fail as soon as you need fire support.
• When both sides are convinced that they are about to lose ... they are both right.
• The bursting radius of a grenade is always one foot greater than your jumping range.
• The only terrain that is truly controlled is the terrain upon which you are standing.
• The law of the bayonet says the man with the bullet wins.
• REMF's (Rear Echelon Mother Fraggers) are everywhere.
• The best tank killer is another tank. Therefore tanks are always fighting each other ...& have no time to help the infantry.
• Precision bombing is normally accurate to within +/- one mile (...or so).
• Don't look conspicuous, it draws fire.
• Cluster bombing from B-52s and C130s is very very accurate. The bombs always hit the ground.
• Perfect plans aren't.
• The side with the fanciest uniforms loses.
• Professionals are predictable--it's the amateurs that are dangerous.
• Armored vehicles are bullet magnets; a moving foxhole that attracts attention.
• No plan survives the first few seconds of combat.
• Expending material in combat is easier than filling out Graves Registration forms -- Ammo is cheap; your life isn't.
• Just because you can't see the enemy; don't for a minute believe they can't see you.
• The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions: When you're ready for them. When you're not.
• If your attack is going well, you've just walked into an ambush.
• Anything you do can get you shot, including nothing.
• Make it tough enough for the enemy to get in and you won't be able to get out.

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