Poem: Orgy in the pantry

By Jack Brummet

I step in and nearly trip on

Mr. Peanut, on his back
With a Grand Coulee grin
As Sara Lee in fishnet stockings straddles him,
Rubbing peanut butter on her nether parts.
Snap, Crackle and Pop
conjugate with the Campbell Soup Twins.

Aunt Jemima and Chef Boy-Ar-Dee
Are in the corner, half undressed,
Staring into each others eyes
And sharing a bottle of wine.
Duncan Hines is against the wall
Watching. . .getting solo kicks,
Digging the scene at a voyeur remove
Where spectation trumps participation.
Uncle Ben and Speedy Alka Seltzer
Sip mint juleps, watching the Doublemint Twins'
Synchronous Messopotamian strip-tease.

Mr. Clean and Tony The Tiger are oiled up
Like Greeks, grappling on the pine floorboards.
Enveloped in a churning cloud of flour,
Betty Crocker's housedress is hiked up around her hips,
Arms on the Pilsbury Doughboy's shoulders.
The Jolly Green Giant and Mrs. Butterworth
Waltz around the pantry
And Mrs. B's feet never touch the floor.
Captain Crunch, Colonel Sanders,
Bazooka Joe and The Frito Bandido
Sit in a circle, passing a bong
And laughing at the show.

          ---o0o---