By Pablo Fanque, National Affairs Ed. (illustration by Jack Brummet)
The Big Announcement will probably happen next week. She has two weeks to go official, since it appears she has rented a campaign headquarters in Brooklyn. /Pablo F (illustration by Jack B)
Saturday, April 04, 2015
Seattle rain and the Beaufort Scale
By Jack Brummet, Hydration Ed.
Seattle, Washington is well-known for its rain, but many cities have greater rainfall than Seattle (especially in the east, and particularly Louisiana and Alabama [it's the Gulf]. It rains very often in Seattle, but it is often a drizzle or sprinkle. The rain in other cities is often heavier, causing them to have larger averages.
Tonight, the sky is dotted with cirrus clouds. Sometime in the next few hours, I expect we will see them converge. . .rain is predicted for tomorrow. The clouds tonight are scattered enough that you can still see numerous stars and glimpses of the moon.
The annual rainfall in Seattle ranges is almost always between 37 and 39 inches.
Average Rainfall in Seattle by month:
Jan 5.13
Feb 4.18
Mar 3.75
Apr 2.59
May 1.78
June 1.49
July 0.79
Aug 1.02
Sep 1.63
Oct 3.19
Nov 5.90
Dec 5.62
Total 37.07
According to Livescience.com, Seattle is actually pretty far down the list of rainy cities, with a little over three feet of rain. Many cities in Florida and Louisiana get a couple feet more rain than Seattle, and there are cities in Alaska and Hawaii that receive over eight feet of rain annually. New York City gets at least three more inches of rain than Seattle does, annually; those inches, however, fall on far fewer days.
The Top Ten US cities for rainfall:
Mobile, Alabama--67 inches average annual rainfall; 59 average annual rainy days
Pensacola, Florida--65 inches average annual rainfall; 56 average annual
rainy days
New Orleans, Louisiana--64 inches average annual rainfall; 59 average
annual rainy days
West Palm Beach, Florida--63 inches average annual rainfall; 58 average
annual rainy days
Lafayette, Louisiana--62 inches average annual rainfall; 55 average annual
rainy days
Baton Rouge, Louisiana--62 inches average annual rainfall; 56 average
annual rainy days
Miami, Florida--62 inches average annual rainfall; 57 average annual rainy days
Port Arthur, Texas--61 inches average annual rainfall; 51 average annual
rainy days
Tallahassee, Florida--61 inches average annual rainfall; 56 average annual
rainy days
Lake Charles, Louisiana [Lake Charles is also the name of my favorite Lucinda Williams song] --58 inches average annual rainfall; 50 average annual rainy days
The rain in Seattle splashes, burbles, spouts, gushes, mists, pours, pounds, drizzles, sprinkles, and precipitates. Rain is really just the condensation of atmospheric water vapor into drops heavy enough to fall, often making it to the surface of our planet. Much of this planet depends on rain for fresh water, both collecting on the surface, and in creeks, rivers, and ponds, as well as recharging the subterranean aquifers and springs that we tap with our wells. In many parts of the world--specifically the arid desert regions--water never even reaches the surface. This phenomena is known as virga. In Seattle, we do not experience virga.
According to the Wikipedia, "The fine particulate matter produced by car exhaust and other human sources of pollution forms cloud condensation nuclei, leads to the production of clouds and increases the likelihood of rain. As commuter and commercial traffic cause pollution to build up over the course of the week, the likelihood of rain increases: it peaks by Saturday, after five days of weekday pollution has been built up. In heavily populated areas that are near the coast, such as the United States' Eastern Seaboard, the effect can be dramatic: there is a 22% higher chance of rain on Saturdays than on Mondays."
I can't determine who came up with the Beaufort rain scale. It's been drifting around the interweb for a long long time now...you can find it in some places with huge lists of recipients, and about twelve carats > in front of every single line.
The Beaufort Rain Scale
Force 0: Complete Dryness. Absence of rain from the air. The gap between two periods of wet. Associated Phrase: "It looks like it might rain."
Force 1: Scotch Mist. Presence of wet in the air, hovering rather than falling. You can feel damp on your face but if you supinate your hand, nothing lands on it. Associated Phrase: "I think it's trying to rain."
Force 2: Individual drops. Individual drops of rain falling, but quite separate as if they are all freelance and not part of the same corporate effort. If switched on now, windscreen wipers make an awful screeching noise. Spectacle wearers begin to grumble. A newspaper being read outside begins to speckle. Associated Phrase: "It's spitting."
Force 3: Fine Rain. Raindrops falling together now, but still invisibly, like the spray which
drifts off a fountain with the wind behind. Ignored by all sportsmen except Test cricketers, who dash for cover. Spectacle wearers walk into oncoming traffic. Windscreen wipers, when switched on, make the windscreen totally opaque. If being read outside, a newspaper gets damp.
Force 4: Visible Light Shower. Hair starts to congeal around ears. First rainwear appears. People start to remember washing left out. Ignored by all sportsmen except Wimbledon players, who dash for cover. A newspaper being read outside starts to tear slightly. Associated Phrases: "It's starting to come down now," "It won't last," and "It's settled in for the day now."
Force 5: Drizzle. Shapes beginning to be visible in rain for the first time, usually drifting from right to left. Windscreen wipers are too slow at slow speed, too fast at fast speed. Shower-proof rainwear turns out to be shower-proof all right, but not drizzle-proof. First damp feeling inside either shoes or neckline. Butterflies take evasive action and begin to fly straight. A newspaper being read in the open starts to turn to pulp.
Force 6: Downpour. You can see raindrops bouncing on impact, like charter planes landing. Leaves and petals recoil when hit. Anything built of concrete begins to look nasty. Eyebrows become waterlogged. Horse racing called off. Wet feeling rises above ankles and starts for knees. Butterflies fly backwards. A newspaper being read in the open divides into two. Gardeners watering the flowers begin to think about packing it in.
Force 7: Squally, Gusty Rain. As Force 6, but with added wind. Water starts to be forced up your nostrils. Maniacs leave home and head for the motorway in their cars. Butterflies start walking. Household cats and dogs become unpleasant to handle. Cheaper clothes start to come to bits. Associated Phrases: "It's pissing down now," and "There's some madman out in the garden trying to read a newspaper."
Force 8: Torrential Rain. The whole world outside has been turned into an en suite douche. It starts raining inside umbrellas. Windscreen wipers become useless. The ground looks as if it is steaming. Butterflies drown. Your garments start merging into each other and becoming indistinguishable. Man reading newspaper in the open starts to disintegrate. All team games except rugby, football, and water polo called off. Associated Phrase: "Jesus, will you look at that coming down."
Force 9: Cloudburst. Rain so fierce that it can only be maintained for a minute or two. Drops so large that they hurt if they hit you. Water gets into your pockets and forms rock-pools. Windscreen wipers are torn off cars. Too wet for water-skiing. Instantaneous rivers form on roads, and man reading newspaper floats past. Rain runs up windows.
Force 10: Hurricane. Not defined inland - the symptoms are too violent and extreme (cars floating, newspaper readers lost at sea, people drowned by inhaling rain, etc.). So, if hurricane conditions do appear to pertain, look for some other explanation.
Seattle, Washington is well-known for its rain, but many cities have greater rainfall than Seattle (especially in the east, and particularly Louisiana and Alabama [it's the Gulf]. It rains very often in Seattle, but it is often a drizzle or sprinkle. The rain in other cities is often heavier, causing them to have larger averages.
Tonight, the sky is dotted with cirrus clouds. Sometime in the next few hours, I expect we will see them converge. . .rain is predicted for tomorrow. The clouds tonight are scattered enough that you can still see numerous stars and glimpses of the moon.
The annual rainfall in Seattle ranges is almost always between 37 and 39 inches.
Jan 5.13
Feb 4.18
Mar 3.75
Apr 2.59
May 1.78
June 1.49
July 0.79
Aug 1.02
Sep 1.63
Oct 3.19
Nov 5.90
Dec 5.62
Total 37.07
According to Livescience.com, Seattle is actually pretty far down the list of rainy cities, with a little over three feet of rain. Many cities in Florida and Louisiana get a couple feet more rain than Seattle, and there are cities in Alaska and Hawaii that receive over eight feet of rain annually. New York City gets at least three more inches of rain than Seattle does, annually; those inches, however, fall on far fewer days.
The Top Ten US cities for rainfall:
Mobile, Alabama--67 inches average annual rainfall; 59 average annual rainy days
Pensacola, Florida--65 inches average annual rainfall; 56 average annual
rainy days
New Orleans, Louisiana--64 inches average annual rainfall; 59 average
annual rainy days
West Palm Beach, Florida--63 inches average annual rainfall; 58 average
annual rainy days
Lafayette, Louisiana--62 inches average annual rainfall; 55 average annual
rainy days
Baton Rouge, Louisiana--62 inches average annual rainfall; 56 average
annual rainy days
Miami, Florida--62 inches average annual rainfall; 57 average annual rainy days
Port Arthur, Texas--61 inches average annual rainfall; 51 average annual
rainy days
Tallahassee, Florida--61 inches average annual rainfall; 56 average annual
rainy days
Lake Charles, Louisiana [Lake Charles is also the name of my favorite Lucinda Williams song] --58 inches average annual rainfall; 50 average annual rainy days
According to the Wikipedia, "The fine particulate matter produced by car exhaust and other human sources of pollution forms cloud condensation nuclei, leads to the production of clouds and increases the likelihood of rain. As commuter and commercial traffic cause pollution to build up over the course of the week, the likelihood of rain increases: it peaks by Saturday, after five days of weekday pollution has been built up. In heavily populated areas that are near the coast, such as the United States' Eastern Seaboard, the effect can be dramatic: there is a 22% higher chance of rain on Saturdays than on Mondays."
I can't determine who came up with the Beaufort rain scale. It's been drifting around the interweb for a long long time now...you can find it in some places with huge lists of recipients, and about twelve carats > in front of every single line.
The Beaufort Rain Scale
Force 0: Complete Dryness. Absence of rain from the air. The gap between two periods of wet. Associated Phrase: "It looks like it might rain."
Force 1: Scotch Mist. Presence of wet in the air, hovering rather than falling. You can feel damp on your face but if you supinate your hand, nothing lands on it. Associated Phrase: "I think it's trying to rain."
Force 2: Individual drops. Individual drops of rain falling, but quite separate as if they are all freelance and not part of the same corporate effort. If switched on now, windscreen wipers make an awful screeching noise. Spectacle wearers begin to grumble. A newspaper being read outside begins to speckle. Associated Phrase: "It's spitting."
Force 3: Fine Rain. Raindrops falling together now, but still invisibly, like the spray which
drifts off a fountain with the wind behind. Ignored by all sportsmen except Test cricketers, who dash for cover. Spectacle wearers walk into oncoming traffic. Windscreen wipers, when switched on, make the windscreen totally opaque. If being read outside, a newspaper gets damp.
Force 4: Visible Light Shower. Hair starts to congeal around ears. First rainwear appears. People start to remember washing left out. Ignored by all sportsmen except Wimbledon players, who dash for cover. A newspaper being read outside starts to tear slightly. Associated Phrases: "It's starting to come down now," "It won't last," and "It's settled in for the day now."
Force 5: Drizzle. Shapes beginning to be visible in rain for the first time, usually drifting from right to left. Windscreen wipers are too slow at slow speed, too fast at fast speed. Shower-proof rainwear turns out to be shower-proof all right, but not drizzle-proof. First damp feeling inside either shoes or neckline. Butterflies take evasive action and begin to fly straight. A newspaper being read in the open starts to turn to pulp.
Force 6: Downpour. You can see raindrops bouncing on impact, like charter planes landing. Leaves and petals recoil when hit. Anything built of concrete begins to look nasty. Eyebrows become waterlogged. Horse racing called off. Wet feeling rises above ankles and starts for knees. Butterflies fly backwards. A newspaper being read in the open divides into two. Gardeners watering the flowers begin to think about packing it in.
Force 7: Squally, Gusty Rain. As Force 6, but with added wind. Water starts to be forced up your nostrils. Maniacs leave home and head for the motorway in their cars. Butterflies start walking. Household cats and dogs become unpleasant to handle. Cheaper clothes start to come to bits. Associated Phrases: "It's pissing down now," and "There's some madman out in the garden trying to read a newspaper."
Force 8: Torrential Rain. The whole world outside has been turned into an en suite douche. It starts raining inside umbrellas. Windscreen wipers become useless. The ground looks as if it is steaming. Butterflies drown. Your garments start merging into each other and becoming indistinguishable. Man reading newspaper in the open starts to disintegrate. All team games except rugby, football, and water polo called off. Associated Phrase: "Jesus, will you look at that coming down."
Force 9: Cloudburst. Rain so fierce that it can only be maintained for a minute or two. Drops so large that they hurt if they hit you. Water gets into your pockets and forms rock-pools. Windscreen wipers are torn off cars. Too wet for water-skiing. Instantaneous rivers form on roads, and man reading newspaper floats past. Rain runs up windows.
Force 10: Hurricane. Not defined inland - the symptoms are too violent and extreme (cars floating, newspaper readers lost at sea, people drowned by inhaling rain, etc.). So, if hurricane conditions do appear to pertain, look for some other explanation.
---o0o---
Friday, April 03, 2015
The Eruption of Mount Edgecumbe
By Jack Brummet, Volcanology Ed.
Photo by Harold Wahlman
This is a leftover from April Fool's Day I never got around to posting. The residents of Sitka, Alaska woke up on April 1, 1974 to see clouds of black smoke were rising from the crater of Mount Edgecumbe, a dormant, nearby volcano. People went out into the streets to gaze up at the volcano, terrified that it would erupt.
A local practical joker named Porky Bickar had flown hundreds of old tires into the volcano's crater and lit them on fire (note the day this occurred) to fool city dwellers into believing the volcano was coming back to life.
Great prank. How can I fly a few hundred tires into the crater of Mount Rainier?
---o0o---
Jesus and the Dinosaurs
By Jack Brummet, Bible Ed.
TruthInGenesis.com tells us:
"The Bible says that God created all the land animals, including dinosaurs and man, on Day 6. So yes, dinosaurs and man did live together in the past. However, they didn’t call them dinosaurs. They called them dragons. Dragons are mentioned in the Bible 34 times."
There are a surprising number of websites and blogs out there debunking the science and making the case for Christianity AND dinosaurs, because The Great Deceiver has been using dinosaurs to achieve his nefarious ends. Here are some images we found, along with quotes pulled from TruthInGenesis and some other sites:
"You won't find Tyrannosaurus Rex or the term "dinosaur" anywhere in the Bible. Yet, Scripture does use the Hebrew word tanniyn to describe a mysterious creature resembling a giant reptile. This being appears 28 times in the Old Testament, with English translations referring to it most often as a dragon, but also as a sea-monster, serpent and whale."
"There could be a few still around. It is impossible to know what is living on every square inch of this planet. Most of the dinosaurs were killed during the flood of Noah’s day. Dinosaurs getting off of Noah’s ark faced a very different and harsh environment from that of the pre-flood world. Many died as a result of this post-flood climate change."
"Unfortunately, our public school system and the media have convinced us that dinosaurs were extinct at least 60 million years before man appeared on earth. They have done such a good job in this area that we can not imagine people and dinosaurs living at the same time. The fact is that dinosaurs were created no more than one day before mankind, not many millions of years earlier—and we have evidence to support that statement."
---o0o---
Thursday, April 02, 2015
[in just-], e.e. cummings great poem of spring
[in Just-]
in Just-
spring when the world is mud-
luscious the little
lame balloonman
whistles far and wee
and eddieandbill come
running from marbles and
piracies and it's
spring
when the world is puddle-wonderful
the queer
old balloonman whistles
far and wee
and bettyandisbel come dancing
from hop-scotch and jump-rope and
it's
spring
and
the
goat-footed
balloonMan whistles
far
and
wee
Wednesday, April 01, 2015
This man will sniff your bike seat
See more on Know Your Meme
From Crazy On Tap:
From Crazy On Tap:
CYCLISTS have been warned to be on their guard – after Britain’s most notorious BIKE-SEAT SNIFFER walked free from a court. Legal commentators had expected Clinton Dennison to be jailed after he was caught snurging seats at a municipal bike shed in Balham, south London – for the 57th time! But not only was he found not guilty, his lawyer successfully argued that sniffing bike seats is NOT an offence if the bike’s owner does not witness the act.
In a landmark ruling, city magistrates agreed with Dennison’s solicitor Armitage Phelps that a sexual motive had not been proved – and if the cycle’s owner was not present to see the sniffing, a public order offence could not be proved. As Dennison’s snurging had only been seen by a CCTV operative, magistrates ruled there was no case to answer and ordered the 31-year-old bachelor to be freed. The case could make saddlesniffing almost impossible to prosecute outside certain strict circumstances.
Unemployed former water treatment operative Dennison said nothing outside court, simply scuttling away making a high-pitched wailing sound. But he has vowed in previous newspaper interviews: “If I see a bike seat, I will sniff it. The law will come around to my way of thinking, eventually.”
Jo Prendergast, of feminist bike club Menstrual Cycle, blasted: “Again, the Establishment has side-stepped the very real issue that bicycle-seat sniffing leads to all manner of antiwoman crimes. One day it’s sniffing a bike seat, the next it’s glancing at bottoms or saying ‘hello’ to women in the street.”
---o0o---
A photograph of "The Loop" in Renton, Wash.
[photograph of the corner of 3rd & Morris from the Renton Historical Society]
---o0o---
Renton Historical Society Renton, WA
Renton Historical Society Renton, WA
Renton Historical Society Renton, WA
Poem: The Walt Taborski Dream
By Jack Brummet
Walt Taborski starred
In a recurring dream
When I was eight years old.
I dreamed I was dreaming
And kept hearing
A tap tap tap.
I thought the tapping
Was the dream
And woke up.
The tapping started again.
I didn't know if I was awake
Or awake in the dream.
I dreamed I was dreaming
I slid out of bed
And edged along the hallway
Toward the tapping
On the kitchen window
Facing the big blowsy roses
In the backyard.
When I got to the kitchen,
His face was in the window.
Framed by the roses
And darkness
Was the unearthly face
Of Walt Taborski,
Peering in, moving his head
Side to side
In his steel-grey fedora,
Stiff wool overcoat,
And coke-bottle glasses.
His eyes bore down on me.
I coudn't scream
And I couldn't move.
I couldn't look at those eyes,
But with those eyes,
I had no choice;
I could only stare
At the Peeping Tom
Petrified anything I did
Would cause him to burst in.
I inched away
Nearly motionless
As if slow
Would buffalo him,
And he wouldn't actually see me
Drift from his focal point
Imperceptibly backing up
To the perceived safety
Of my room.
At the end of the hall,
I could cut and run.
The sheets in my bed were cold
When I climbed back in.
In the morning,
And every time I dreamed the dream,
I never knew
If it was him
Or me dreaming
Him in the window,
And I never told anyone
About Walt Taborski looking
In the window
Until tonight.
---o0o---
In a recurring dream
When I was eight years old.
I dreamed I was dreaming
And kept hearing
A tap tap tap.
I thought the tapping
Was the dream
And woke up.
The tapping started again.
I didn't know if I was awake
Or awake in the dream.
I dreamed I was dreaming
I slid out of bed
And edged along the hallway
Toward the tapping
On the kitchen window
Facing the big blowsy roses
In the backyard.
When I got to the kitchen,
His face was in the window.
Framed by the roses
And darkness
Was the unearthly face
Of Walt Taborski,
Peering in, moving his head
Side to side
In his steel-grey fedora,
Stiff wool overcoat,
And coke-bottle glasses.
His eyes bore down on me.
I coudn't scream
And I couldn't move.
I couldn't look at those eyes,
But with those eyes,
I had no choice;
I could only stare
At the Peeping Tom
Petrified anything I did
Would cause him to burst in.
I inched away
Nearly motionless
As if slow
Would buffalo him,
And he wouldn't actually see me
Drift from his focal point
Imperceptibly backing up
To the perceived safety
Of my room.
At the end of the hall,
I could cut and run.
The sheets in my bed were cold
When I climbed back in.
In the morning,
And every time I dreamed the dream,
I never knew
If it was him
Or me dreaming
Him in the window,
And I never told anyone
About Walt Taborski looking
In the window
Until tonight.
---o0o---
Airlines consider offering standing room in lieu of seats
By Jack Brummet, Aviophobia Ed.
The New York Times reported yesterday that Airbus has been very discretely trying to drum up interest in a standing-room-only option to Asian airlines.
Passengers would stand against a padded backboard, held in place by a harness. In short, we'd have a plane full of papooses!
The airlines have already been squeezing passengers further (is that even possible?) by ordering new seats, with far thinner backs. Instead of adding an inch or two of legroom, they are, of course, adding additional rows of seats.
One airline was even considering a proposal by Boeing to essentially forgo seats and seatbealts in favor of a system where passengers stand so snugly together that they insulate each other from any turbulence or jostling. One proposal included the option of having passengers travel nude, using Crisco or another emollient to reduce friction and chafing. "Essentially, we would be taking a leaf from the penguin's book," explained Sheila Houlihan, a vice-president with Boeing's Public Relations group, "I mean, you saw March Of The Penguins, didn't you? These guys know how to huddle!"
The New York Times reported yesterday that Airbus has been very discretely trying to drum up interest in a standing-room-only option to Asian airlines.
Passengers would stand against a padded backboard, held in place by a harness. In short, we'd have a plane full of papooses!
The airlines have already been squeezing passengers further (is that even possible?) by ordering new seats, with far thinner backs. Instead of adding an inch or two of legroom, they are, of course, adding additional rows of seats.
One airline was even considering a proposal by Boeing to essentially forgo seats and seatbealts in favor of a system where passengers stand so snugly together that they insulate each other from any turbulence or jostling. One proposal included the option of having passengers travel nude, using Crisco or another emollient to reduce friction and chafing. "Essentially, we would be taking a leaf from the penguin's book," explained Sheila Houlihan, a vice-president with Boeing's Public Relations group, "I mean, you saw March Of The Penguins, didn't you? These guys know how to huddle!"
---o0o---
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