The house is still as a painted boat
On a painted sea,
Quiet as the pond
In Monet's Water Lillies,
And as dark
As Mephistopheles' rectum.
---o0o---
Saturday, October 14, 2006
Poem: 3 A.M.
The house is still as a painted boat
On a painted sea,
Quiet as the pond
In Monet's Water Lillies,
And as dark
As Mephistopheles' rectum.
---o0o---
Displaced hip, part 2: The Phil Trumbo photos
click to enlarge
Phil Trumbo's get-well email commemorated my hip dis- and re-placement with a number of photos.
click to enlarge
click image to enlarge
---o0o---
Friday, October 13, 2006
Dislocated Hip!
I dislocated my (prosthetic) left hip [1] in the wee hours last night. . .by far the most
painful thing I've ever experienced. . .by orders of magnitude. My stainless steel hip bone popped right out of the socket. My leg no longer worked, and I could do nothing but slide to the floor, where I remained for about the next hour, trying to find the least painful position (a position that didn't exist), and hoping I could somehow pop the hip back in. My leg was almost turned backwards.
Moving even 1/4" was excruciating. One position that hurt the least, but it started hurting and I had to find another. And every move was complete and total agony. Breathing could hurt. Muscle twitches felt like fire. And the muscles were twitching. I got a Charlie horse and couldn't stop it. It hurt too much to straighten my leg out. I woke Keelin up and she and Colum called 911 (!). The fire department and an ambulance arrived and after fifteen minutes of butt-scratching, carted me out of the basement on a papoose, up the steep back stairs and into the meat-wagon for the drive down the street to Ballard Hospital. They started me on Dilaudid (and gave me a good plungerful in the I.V. whenever I asked).
Since I'd drunk a glass of orange juice at 12:00, they had to wait eight hours to perform the surgery. Not surgery, really, but sticking the hip back in the socket. The Doctor said it was more like carpentry than surgery ("we use the same tools...chisels, saws, screws, cement, hammers"). They had to knock me out to perform the hip "reduction" as it's called. Dr. Wexler was a very personable guy. I tried to talk him into just banging the hip in without anesthetic (Lethal Weapon style). We wouldn't have to wait for my stomach to empty. Alas, he seemed almost game, but didn't want to do it. He'd done a shoulder w/o anesthesia, but he didn't know if he could pull off a hip. So, we waited on three babies about to emerge.
They put me under and wrestled my hip back to its rightful home. I woke up three minutes after they knocked me out, and my hip was back in place. I'm still hurting, but they gave me plenty of Vicoden, which helps a little. I am wearing a "knee immobilizer" to prevent my hip from twisting, andto protect me from myself.
One minute after they finished with the hip, I woke up. It was a shimmering moment of joy. . .in these three minutes I was asleep they had changed my life! I went under at 9:30--I was facing a big clock--and when I snapped to it was 9:34! How did they do that??!! That is maybe the most amazing part of this story. They can put you under for three minutes, perform their maneuvers, and bring you concscious instantly! Keelin said I made a joke when I woke up. And for a second, I thought maybe they didn't fix it...but I wiggled my leg...it was attached and it was no longer on fire. My hip was home and I was sore all over, but I could move my leg under my own volition. The absence of pain was a joy. I feel a lot of other pains at the moment, but in perspective, they are infinitesimal. I am going to be OK, I'm sure. But I am always an optimist about these things. My knee immobilizer prevents me from doing anything too crazy. I'll admit, 'though, I am the last person in the world who would do anything risky right now. The pain is way too fresh. I'm not ready for that again. OK. . .enough. . .how are you feeling?!
[1] From Dynomed.com: In a posterior dislocation, there is usually a great deal of power brought to bear to a flexed knee and to the hip.
Dislocations of a prosthetic hip can happen without any trauma since the ligaments that support the hip joint are no longer working properly. However, nationwide, only about 1 percent of all hip replacement patients will suffer a dislocation. The dislocation can occur when the leg is put in positions that can manually pop the ball from the hip socket, like crossing your legs at your knees or squatting. Additionally, for preventive reasons, physicians advise against bringing your knees to your chest if you have a prosthesis.
Two common techniques for performing a posterior hip reduction (the most common kind of hip dislocation) are the Allis Maneuver and the Stimson Maneuver. In addition to those two techniques, there are several other options available to an orthopedic surgeon depending on the individual case. Both maneuvers require the use of physical force to push the hip back into place and are performed with the patient sedated. The hip and knee are flexed to a 90-degree angle when a surgeon applies the Allis Maneuver. The Stimson Maneuver has the dislocated leg hanging over the edge of the bed with the hip and knee also flexed at a 90-degree angle.
---o0o---
painful thing I've ever experienced. . .by orders of magnitude. My stainless steel hip bone popped right out of the socket. My leg no longer worked, and I could do nothing but slide to the floor, where I remained for about the next hour, trying to find the least painful position (a position that didn't exist), and hoping I could somehow pop the hip back in. My leg was almost turned backwards.Moving even 1/4" was excruciating. One position that hurt the least, but it started hurting and I had to find another. And every move was complete and total agony. Breathing could hurt. Muscle twitches felt like fire. And the muscles were twitching. I got a Charlie horse and couldn't stop it. It hurt too much to straighten my leg out. I woke Keelin up and she and Colum called 911 (!). The fire department and an ambulance arrived and after fifteen minutes of butt-scratching, carted me out of the basement on a papoose, up the steep back stairs and into the meat-wagon for the drive down the street to Ballard Hospital. They started me on Dilaudid (and gave me a good plungerful in the I.V. whenever I asked).
Since I'd drunk a glass of orange juice at 12:00, they had to wait eight hours to perform the surgery. Not surgery, really, but sticking the hip back in the socket. The Doctor said it was more like carpentry than surgery ("we use the same tools...chisels, saws, screws, cement, hammers"). They had to knock me out to perform the hip "reduction" as it's called. Dr. Wexler was a very personable guy. I tried to talk him into just banging the hip in without anesthetic (Lethal Weapon style). We wouldn't have to wait for my stomach to empty. Alas, he seemed almost game, but didn't want to do it. He'd done a shoulder w/o anesthesia, but he didn't know if he could pull off a hip. So, we waited on three babies about to emerge.
They put me under and wrestled my hip back to its rightful home. I woke up three minutes after they knocked me out, and my hip was back in place. I'm still hurting, but they gave me plenty of Vicoden, which helps a little. I am wearing a "knee immobilizer" to prevent my hip from twisting, andto protect me from myself.
One minute after they finished with the hip, I woke up. It was a shimmering moment of joy. . .in these three minutes I was asleep they had changed my life! I went under at 9:30--I was facing a big clock--and when I snapped to it was 9:34! How did they do that??!! That is maybe the most amazing part of this story. They can put you under for three minutes, perform their maneuvers, and bring you concscious instantly! Keelin said I made a joke when I woke up. And for a second, I thought maybe they didn't fix it...but I wiggled my leg...it was attached and it was no longer on fire. My hip was home and I was sore all over, but I could move my leg under my own volition. The absence of pain was a joy. I feel a lot of other pains at the moment, but in perspective, they are infinitesimal. I am going to be OK, I'm sure. But I am always an optimist about these things. My knee immobilizer prevents me from doing anything too crazy. I'll admit, 'though, I am the last person in the world who would do anything risky right now. The pain is way too fresh. I'm not ready for that again. OK. . .enough. . .how are you feeling?!
[1] From Dynomed.com: In a posterior dislocation, there is usually a great deal of power brought to bear to a flexed knee and to the hip.
Dislocations of a prosthetic hip can happen without any trauma since the ligaments that support the hip joint are no longer working properly. However, nationwide, only about 1 percent of all hip replacement patients will suffer a dislocation. The dislocation can occur when the leg is put in positions that can manually pop the ball from the hip socket, like crossing your legs at your knees or squatting. Additionally, for preventive reasons, physicians advise against bringing your knees to your chest if you have a prosthesis.
Two common techniques for performing a posterior hip reduction (the most common kind of hip dislocation) are the Allis Maneuver and the Stimson Maneuver. In addition to those two techniques, there are several other options available to an orthopedic surgeon depending on the individual case. Both maneuvers require the use of physical force to push the hip back into place and are performed with the patient sedated. The hip and knee are flexed to a 90-degree angle when a surgeon applies the Allis Maneuver. The Stimson Maneuver has the dislocated leg hanging over the edge of the bed with the hip and knee also flexed at a 90-degree angle.
---o0o---
Thursday, October 12, 2006
Dr. Hook & The cover of the Rolling Stone
This has to fall in the novelty tune category. . .but it's pretty nice. Dr. Hook and the Medicine Show were essentially one hit wonders, however, they did strike gold with a follow-up hit, "Sylvia's Mother." After their song came out, Rolling Stone--it's hard to imagine all these years later how influential and monolithc Rolling Stone was in the 70's--put them on the cover!
Cover of the Rolling Stone
( Dr Hook & the Medicine Show )
Ha, ha, ha, I don't believe it
Da, da, ah, ooh, don't touch me
Hey, Ray!
Hey, Sugar!
Tell them who we are .....
Well, we're big rock singers
We've got golden fingers
And we're loved everywhere we go (that sounds like us)
We sing about beauty and we sing about truth
For ten-thousand dollars a show (right)
We take all kinds of pills that give us all kind of thrills
But the thrill we've never known
Is the thrill that'll get ya when you get your picture
On the cover of the Rolling Stone
(Rolling Stone) Wanna see my picture on the cover
(Stone)Wanna buy five copies for my mother (yeah)
(Stone)Wanna see my smilin' face
On the cover of the Rolling Stone (that's a very, very, good idea)
I got a freaky ole lady name a cocaine Katy
Who embroideries on my jeans
I got my poor old grey haired daddy
Drivin' my limosine
Now, it's all designed to blow our minds
But our minds won't really be blown
Like the blow that'll get ya when you get your picture
On the cover of the Rolling Stone
(Rolling Stone) Wanna see our pictures on the cover
(Stone) Wanna buy five copies for our mothers (yeah)
(Stone) Wanna see my smilin' face
On the cover of the Rolling Stone
(Hey, I know how, rock and roll!!)
[guitar break]
(Ah, that's beautiful)
We got a lot of little teenage blue-eyed groupies
Who do anything we say
We got a genuine Indian Guru
Who's teaching us a better way
We got all the friends that money can buy
So we never have to be alone
And we keep getting richer but we can't get our picture
On the cover of the Rolling Stone
(Rolling Stone) Wanna see my picture on the cover
(Stone) Wanna buy five copies for my mother (I want one!)
(Stone) Wanna see my smilin' face
On the cover of the Rolling Stone
On the cover of the Rolling Stone
(Man, I don't know why we ain't on the cover, Baby)
(We're beautiful people)
(I ain't kiddin', why, we would make a beautiful cover
(Fresh shot, right up front, man)
(I can see it now, we'll be up on the front)
(Smilin', man ...... ahh, beautiful!)
---o0o---
The story behind the mad leaping aquatic cat in the raft
This is a photo that has been circulating on the 'net in the last few months. I've received it a few times.
Who brought the cat, and why is she jumping out of the boat? As it turns out, she wasn't. As so often happens, a picture too good to be true, isn't. According to Snopes.com, who have also received the photo, "The picture is a humorous digital merging of a picture of three somewhat frightened-looking kids on a bouncing raft with another image taken from a collection of "airborne cat" photos." Oh well, it was good while it lasted.
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Lyrics to Peter Rowan's (and Old And In The Way's) Panama Red
Panama Red was performed by Old And In The Way, a bluegrass group of David Grisman on Mandolin, Jerry Garcia (on banjo), Vassar Clements on Fiddle, Peter Rowan, and John Kahn on bass. Old And In The Way helped revitalize and popularize bluegrass. These records are still some of my favorite bluegrass. I remember some of those days when Panama Red would show up in town.
Panama Red
by Peter Rowan
Panama Red, Panama Red
He'll steal your woman, then he'll rob your head
Panama Red, Panama Red
On his white horse, Mescalito
He come breezin' through town
I'll bet your woman's up in bed with
Panama Red
The judge don't know when Red's in town
He keeps well hidden underground
But everybody's acting lazy
Falling out and hangin' 'round
My woman said, "Hey Pedro
you're actin' crazy like a clown"
Nobody feels like working
Panama Red is back in town
[chorus]
Everybody's looking out for him
'Cause they know Red's satisfies
Little girls love to listen to him
Sing and tell sweet lies
But when things get too confusing, honey
You're better off in bed
And I'll be searching all the joints in town for
Panama Red
[chorus]
Old And In The Way Recordings: 1 Oct 1973 Breakdown; 8 Oct 1973 Old And In The Way
New Riders of the Purple Sage Recordings: 1973 The Adventures Of Panama Red; 1975 Live On Stage; 13 Jun 1975 Armadillo World HQ; 1982 Live (1982)
---o0o---
The Greatest Story Ever Told - Lyrics by Robert Hunter-Bob Weir-Mickey Hart
The Greatest Story Ever Told
Moses come riding up on a quasar
His spurs was a-jingling, the door was ajar
His buckle was silver, his manner was bold
I asked him to come on in out of the cold
His brain was boiling, his reason was spent
Nothing is borrowed, nothing is lent
I asked him for mercy, he gave me a gun
Now and again these things just got to be done
Abraham and Isaac sitting on a fence
Get right to work if you have any sense
You know the one thing we need is a left-hand monkey wrench
Gideon come in with his eyes on the floor
Says, "you ain't got a hinge, you can't close the door"
Moses stood up a full six foot ten
Said "you can't close the door when the wall's caved in"
I asked him for water he poured me some wine
We finished the bottle then broke into mine
You get what you come for, you're ready to go
And it's one in ten thousand done come for the show
Abraham and Isaac digging on a well
Mama come quick with the water witch spell
Cool clear water where you can't never tell
---o0o---
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Poem: I'm agnostic about atheism
Credit for the images of the Horsehead nebula goes to NASA. Click to enlarge.
Scientists say
When a star is born,
Pandemonium reigns
In a cosmic soup
Of emission nebulas, hydrogen, dust nebulas,
Dark absorption nebulas of dust,
And other stars that spawn and explode.
After tens of millions years more,
The gas and the dust disperse
And an open cluster
Of survivors
Remain.
The stars rotate and revolve
And shimmy and shake
At their own pace.
Billions and billions
Of stars and planets
Largely steer clear
Of one another,
Forging patterns
And rhythms in the cosmos.
The stars sing, the planets hum,
And you wonder why
I'm agnostic about atheism.
---o0o---
Compensation for alien abduction victims?
A German attorney has decided to bolster his bottom line by filing state compensation claims for people who believe they were abducted by aliens. Jens Lorek bases his claims on a German law that compensates kidnap victims. . .Terrestrial kidnap victims.
"There's quite obviously demand for legal advice here," Lorek told Reuters by telephone. "The trouble is, people are afraid of making fools of themselves in court." Click here to read the Reuters story.
---o0o---
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