The Republican March To 2012: a wondrous collection of pinheads, charlatans, mountebanks, narcissists, and third-rate grifters

      By Pablo Fanque, National Affairs Editor

Jack Brummet, Social Mores Editor

 

The GOP Presidential candidates are charging out like clowns from a clown-car.  Of course, getting in to The Show early, or even just announcing, is pretty cheap.  And it increases your cash flow, your paid trips, marketability, and even perceived gravitas.  Democrats on the other hand are holding back.  To declare against a sitting President is generally an exercise in futility and, at times, a near-suicidal political act.  However, strong candidates have pulled it off (most notably Bobby Kennedy, whom we did not get to see go the distance) and won roles at the convention, and promises of plum diplomatic jobs or cabinet positions. 

Congressman Pence

Politico reports the House Republican Conference Chairman from Indiana is considering stepping down from his GOP leadership post to prepare for a possible presidential run in 2012. 'Though the 2010 mid-term election is just barely over, the pressure is on Pence and other GOP hopefuls to state their intentions.

Ex-Governor Romney

Mitt Romney has already been running for a couple of years, really ever since the night he conceded to John McCain during the primaries.  He seems to us like one of the more plausible candidates to whom Democrats might defect (maybe his biggest appeal to Dems and most horrifying to GOP/Tea Party members is the pretty excellent health care system that he pushed for in Mass.).   We think his religion is no roadblock.  Yeah, we don't think a Hari Krishna will become president soon, but a Mormon?  Sure, why not?  We are fine with a Jewish or Moslem president, but don't think that happens anytime soon.

Ex-Governor Huckabee

Ex-Governor Mike Huckabee won the Iowa primaries last time around, had a huge buzz...and for a few weeks, he was the "It Guy," appearing on the cover of Newsweek, and was the focus of numerous political talk shows. He may or may not run.  He seems to like his current FOX news gig. [Ed's Note: nearly half of the GOP hopefuls and toe-dippers are on the FOX payroll in some form or another.]

Ex-Speaker (and architect of the Contract On America) Gingrich

Newt Gingrich, another FOX hack. . .who knows? We guess he will indeed run.  Newt is a guy who craves the limelight.

Governor Pawlenty

Tim Pawlenty could be running...he is visiting several key, early primary states.  He has a book out.  He was maybe Number Two on McCain's VP list.  But alas, he has a personality like shirt cardboard.   His Q factor is virtually zero.

John Bolton

John Bolton, the neocon diplomat (and former undersecretary of state) has publicly toyed with the idea.  He may jump in for a primary or two if he can get enough of his fat cat friends to pony up enough cash to make a short, respectable run. 

Guvnah Barbour

Haley Barbour, the (once) well-thought of Governor may have killed his changes recently with racially insensitive--no, inflammatory--remarks on how nice the south was back in "the good old days."

Senator Thune

John Thune, who, a few years ago, stomped Democratic powerhouse Tom Daschle in South Dakota, is textbook politically handsome.  And like Tim Pawlenty. . .about as exciting as yesterday's oatmeal.

Governor Daniels

Mitch Daniels (Governor of Indiana) dismissed a presidential run in June 2009, saying "I've only ever run for or held one office. It's the last one I'm going to hold."   In February 2010 he told a Washington Post reporter that he was open to the idea of running in 2012. 

The Donald

Donald Trump has made some noise about making a Presidential run.  It's hard to see how a national joke could get much traction in Iowa or New Hampshire.

Ex-Governor Palin (painting by Jack Brummet)

Sarah Palin.   She's certainly open to the idea--if not the reality--of running for President.  If she does make a go of it, it will be fascinating watching her in those early primaries.

Ex-Senator Santorum

Rick Santorum, the former Pennsylvania Senator who was obliterated in the 2006 election, may just be tempted to run.  Another FOX guy.  He is almost in the national joke category, along with Trump.  He is probably best known for his positions on the U.S. invasion of Iraq, Social Security, intelligent design, homosexuality, and the long-forgotten Terri Schiavo case.

Governor Christie

Chris Christie--a guy we think could go all the way.  He's a Republican who is seen by his own party as soft on immigration; is against gay marriage, but in favor of civil unions (just like President Obama!); is not strong with the pro-gun lobby; favors medical marijuana; and while opposed to it, is soft on abortion and doesn't believe it is the state's duty to ram it down the throats of the people.   However, the Tea Party wing of the party does not take a blue dog approach.  You're either with them, or against them.  With all the other neo-con and tea-party alternatives, it's hard to see how Christie could ever garner much support within his own party.

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The Middle Finger Of The Day No. 13 - Anthrax this! A New York Post front cover

By Mona Goldwater

The New York Post has put more than one person on their cover giving the finger.  If you remember back to the Anthrax scares in the first decade of the 21st century, you might even remember this one. . .

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Painting: Stoned Mom

digital art by jack brummet - click to enlarge

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The Middle Finger Of The Day No. 12 - Big Bird gives the finger

By Jack Brummet (pinch hitting for Mona Goldwater and Pablo Fanque)


Someone--and I can't figure out whom--created this photoshop from the still shot of Vito Spatafore in an episode of The Sopranos (see original, below)

click images to enlarge

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Painting by Jack Brummet - The Blockhead

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Alien Lore No. 190 - A new Wikileak that reveals a U.S. v. UFO war near Antarctica

By Jack Brummet
Unexplained phenomena and paranormal editor





Thanks to Jeff Clinton, who frequently unearths our news tip of the day, for spotting this one...

According the European Union Times online newspaper, WikiLeaks is about to reveal the details behind a heretofore secret US-UFO war in the southern ocean, near Antarctica.

The EU Times came into this information from a report that recently circulated in the Kremlin, and that was initially prepared for President Medvedev by the Russian Space Forces (VKS) 45th Division of Space Control.

The report claims that WikiLeaks will soon release a passel of secret US cables outlining how the U.S. has been at war against UFO’s based on or near the Continent of Antarctica, since around 2004.

The report describes how the United States went to its highest alert level on June 10, 2004 after a massive fleet of UFO’s “suddenly emerged” from the Southern Ocean and approached Guadalajara, Mexico, 1,000 miles from the American border.  Before breaching the U.S. border, the UFO armada “dimensionally returned” to their Southern Ocean base.

"DefCon" chart showing the current level of military readiness

of the United States as of today (12-27-2010)

The U.S. military and intelligence first got an extreme case of the willies July 11, 1991 (called 7/11) when during a solar eclipse when UFOs appeared "by the hundreds" over much of Mexico.  The report also claims that millions of Mexicans watched the flyover on television, but the feed was suppressed in the U.S.

Since 2004, this report claims, fleets of Southern Ocean UFO’s have periodically emerged from their bases.  The most recent sightings happened this month, over Chile.

Two weeks ago, the report says, a cruise ship with 160 people on board, was nearly capsized when hit by waves generated by UFO’s emerging from the Southern Ocean.  A ship recently sank in the waves, and only 20 of its 42 member crew survived.

You may recall the recent airspace closures over New York City (October 13th) where thousands of people witnessed UFO flyovers.  Some people are claiming these UFOs are from the same southern ocean fleet. . .

I guess we need to hang loose and see just what WikiLeaks reveals. . .maybe after Julian Assange clears up his messy legal situation(s).
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Middle finger of the day No. 11 - 11 female fingers (including Evangeline Lily, Britney Spears, Pink, and Avril Lavigne)

By Pablo Fanque

& Mona Goldwater

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Painting: Bluehead x 4

click to enlarge

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A vast conspiracy and cover up by Rob Morrow - The JFK assassination conspiracy and the Warren Commission explained (kinda)

By Jack Brummet

Conspiracy and Paranormal Editor

a frame from an 8 mm film released in 2007

Thanks to Dr. Stephen Clarke-Willson for passing along this story from the Economic Policy Journal.  Every paragraph has at least a couple of facts right.  I still have doubts, though, a conspiracy this deep and vast could ever have been bottled up (at least not without killing most of those in the know).  About the only person he didn’t include in the conspiracy was Bobby.   But still, fascinating, and he builds an interesting, but often flawed and paranoid case.

To read the article by Rob Morrow, click here: My Files on the LBJ-CIA Assassination of JFK by Rob Morrow.

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The Middle Finger Of The Day No. 10 -- including Ice Cube, Katie Couric, Kim Kardashian, Lady Gaga, Ashton Kutchner, Santa Claus, and Johnny Cash

By Mona Goldwater and Pablo Fanque







The series continues with Katie Couric, Ice Cube, Kim Kardashian, Lady Gaga, Ashton Kutchner, Santa Claus, and Johnny Cash.

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2011: Let the waterworks begin -- incoming Speaker of the House John Boehner opens the floodgates

By Jack Brummet, Social Mores Editor

I hope the teabaggers and Republicans enjoy this upcoming cascade of teardrops.  For my part, it is the absolute best part of having a new majority leader.  This is a pretty sweet 4:36 compilation of some John Boehner weepers. Best line in the video comes from Leslie Stahl: "And what set you off this time?"

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