Sons - an old internet/email meme

I know this has to be a tired old internet/email meme that got passed around forever and was probably pockmarked by a string of carats by the time you read it.  But I didn't see it. . .until yesterday.  It provides some interesting insights into boys, and those among us who grow up to be men, more or less.  I admit, I am still thinking about mixing brake fluid and chlorine...
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For people who have sons; and those of us who are happy that we don't.




You may find out interesting things when you have sons, like...


1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.


2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.


3. A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.


4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.


5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.


6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.


7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.


8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.


9. A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.


10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4- year old Boy.


11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.


12. Super glue is forever.


13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.


14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.


15. VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.


16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.


17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.


18. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.


19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.


20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.


21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.


22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.


23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.


24. 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.


25. 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
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Jack Brummet drawing: Faces No. 116 - the numbered

click to enlarge
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Sarah Palin rocks the house at the Tea Party in Nashville. Not that hard, since everyone else dropped out.

So,  maybe we were wrong when we said authoritatively that the Ex-Governor hired a ghost writer with her new-found millions. 

"Say he played the war card, say he decided to declare war on Iran or decided to really come out and do whatever he could to support Israel which I would like him to do, but that changes the dynamics on what we can assume is going to happen between now and three years because I think if the election were today, I do not think that Obama would be re-elected."  - Sarah Palin, on Saturday.
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Poem: The Tenth Planet, or an incredible facsimile by Jack Brummet

We recently wrote about what we hoped might be a new shot at a tenth planet (disregarding for now the fact that scientists last year "demoted" Pluto).  A couple years ago, we published a poem by Jack on what was then the current candidate for the Tenth Planet:


The Tenth Planet, or an incredible facsimile
by Jack Brummet


Is it a planet or not?
It depends on
What it's orbiting around.

A planet must orbit a star.
Round objects floating freely
Through space don't count.

If an object orbits a much larger object
That is not a star
Then it's not a planet either.

Scientists are slated to announce
Very soon whether or not that rock
Floating out there is the tenth planet

Or not.
If it isn't
Then what?
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Poem: When Evil Fails

In the end, evil konks out
Like a squid simmered in its own ink,
Because evil fails the moment


It overwhelms the good,
Consuming the very energy
To which it owed its duration.
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Alien Lore No. 167 - The Tenth Planet On Its Way? Hubble Observes P/2010 A2 traveling at 11,000 miles per hour

Thanks to Jeff Clinton for referring this story.  It appeared on Gizmodo originally, but we used mostly the Hubble and NASA sites for info.  Photo reproduced courtesy of NASA, and You, the American Taxpayer.

The Hubble recently uncovered a weird X-shaped object traveling through space at around 11,000 mph. NASA says that P/2010-A2 is probably be a comet or the aftermath of a collision between two asteroids. [Editor's note, unless my math is wrong, they could be here in a year or so??]

This NASA Hubble Space Telescope photo below shows a comet-like P/2010 A2, which was first discovered by the LINEAR (Lincoln Near-Earth Asteroid Research program) sky survey on January 6.

The object appears so odd in ground-based telescopic images that NASA decided to book a little time on Hubble to take a closer look. This January 29 picture shows a "bizarre X-pattern of filamentary structures near the point-like nucleus of the object and trailing streamers of dust," according to NASA


The inset picture suggests the object is not a comet but instead the product of a head-on collision between two asteroids.  ASA says that astronomers have "long thought that the asteroid belt is being ground down through collisions, but such a smashup has never before been seen."

At the time of the Hubble observations, the object was approximately 180 million miles from the Sun and 90 million  from Earth.   The bottom line on P/2010 A2 is that no one who is supposed to know has any idea where it came from or where it's going.  Naturally, we at All This Is That believe that it is the fabled Tenth Planet, come home to join us, rescue us, or invade us.
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The Supermarket

A guy goes to the supermarket and a beautiful blond woman waves at him and says hello. He's rather taken aback, because he can't remember where he knows her from.

He says, "Do you know me?"

She smiles and says

"I think you're the father of one of my kids."

He is, of course, stunned. His mind reels back to the one time he was unfaithful to his wife.

"You're the stripper from my bachelor party? I remember. We had sex on the pool table while your partner whipped me with wet celery."

She smiles and says,


"No.  I'm your son's math teacher."
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Drawing: Faces No. 107: abductions, the jury pool, the affair, checking out, murder, the return of the king, and other scenes from Turtle Island

Drawing by Jack Brummet

click to enlarge

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Senator "Crazy" Joe Lieberman, on going it Republican style in 2012

Dear GOP:

I hope you enjoy that treacherous, sawed-off dingbat as much as we have!

Love,

Pablo Fanque
National Affairs Editor

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Drawing by Jack Brummet: Faces No. 82: Pairs

click to enlarge

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Dr. Wu by Steely Dan (from Katy Lied), with lyrics

Katy tried
I was halfway crucified
I was on the other side
Of no tomorrow
You walked in
And my life began again
Just when I'd spent the last piaster
I could borrow
All night long
We would sing that stupid song
And every word we sang
I knew was true

Are you with me Doctor Wu
Are you really just a shadow
Of the man that I once knew
Are you crazy are you high
Or just an ordinary guy
Have you done all you can do
Are you with me Doctor

Don't seem right
I've been strung out here all night
I've been waiting for the taste
You said you'd bring to me
Biscayne Bay
Where the Cuban gentlemen sleep all day
I went searching for the song
You used to sing to me
Katy lies
You could see it in her eyes
But imagine my surprise
When I saw you

Are you with me Doctor Wu
Are you really just a shadow
Of the man that I once knew
She is lovely yes she's sly
And you're an ordinary guy
Has she finally got to you
Can you hear me Doctor
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One of the 100 most misspelled words in the English language is misspelled

One of the 100 most mispelled misspelled words in the English language is "misspelled."   "misspell - What is more embarrassing than to misspell the name of the problem? Just remember that it is mis + spell and that will spell you the worry about spelling 'spell.' " Click here for Dictionary.com's list of those 100 words.
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