SoS Hillary Clinton will not remain in office if Obama is re-elected

By Pablo Fanque, National Affairs Editor
Illustration by Jack Brummet

In an interview with CNN's Wolf Blitzer, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton said that she would complete her term as SoS, but would not serve again should The President be re-elected.  She also told Blitzer she would not run for either Vice-President or President.

Fascinating.  I think if she wanted to make a run for President, she could probably come as close as last time.  And if Obama for some reason does not run, it seems like she would be the front runner, and would end up #Winning!  And, on top of that, I think she's been a very good Secretary of State.

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A spooky herd of charlatans, pinheads, and miscreants: The 2012 Democratic and Republican/Tea Party Presidential Candidates

By Jack Brummet, Presidents Editor
with research by Pablo Fanque, National Affairs Editor

On Tuesday, November 6, 2012, we go to the polls (a misnomer now) for the 57th quadrennial presidential election.  About all that seems certain to us is that of the real candidates, Barack Obama, Newt Gingrich, and Mitt Romney will be running.  [ed's note:  you might take this with a few grains of salt--All This Is That completely blew our calls on both the 2004 and 2008 elections].  As far as we know, only Randall Terry, the pro-life activist/founder of Operation Rescue from New York, who jumped from the Republican Party to the Democratic Party [ed's note: why?] has actually announced.
 
We want to put up a list we can revisit once a month or so to keep track of the prospects.
 
The following people have sworn they will not run:
 

• Representative Dennis Kucinich of Ohio
• Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton of New York
• Former Governor Howard Dean of Vermont
• Former Senator Russ Feingold of Wisconsin
• Former U.S. Senate Nominee Sharron Angle of Nevada: "bottom line, no."
• Senator Scott Brown of Massachusetts: Says that he is running for re-election to the Senate.
• Former Governor Jeb Bush of Florida: he was asked whether the door remained closed on a run. "Yes", was his reply.
• Governor Chris Christie of New Jersey: Has many times rejected the idea of running for president, saying he has no desire to run and has more power to get things done as governor of New Jersey. "short of suicide, I don't really know what I'd have to do to convince you people that I'm not running."  But then, last week, he said he could win if he DID run.  In any case, give him props for the best denial.
• Senator Bob Corker of Tennessee: "absolutely not".
• Senator Jim DeMint of South Carolina: Told CNN "No, I am not."
• Governor Bobby Jindal of Louisiana: "I'm not being coy at all. I'm not running for president in 2012. Period. No ifs, ands or buts, no caveats." He says he wants to run for a second term as governor.
• Governor Bob McDonnell of Virginia: "I'm not running for anything. I'm thrilled to be governor of Virginia."
• Businessman Carl Paladino of New York: Said he is not running for president.
• Senator Rand Paul of Kentucky: A spokesman said "I can promise you that he is not running for anything."
• Representative Mike Pence of Indiana: Says he will not run, but expressed interest in the governorship of Indiana, saying that his "calling is closer to home."
• Governor Rick Perry of Texas: Has said "I don't want to be president of the United States. I'm not going to run for the presidency of the United States."
• General David Petraeus of New York: "I thought I'd said no about as many ways as I could. I really do mean no... I've tried Shermanesque responses... I've tried quoting the country song, 'What Part of No Don't You Understand?'... I feel very privileged to be able to serve our country. I'm honored to continue to do that as long as I can contribute, but I will not, ever, run for political office, I can assure you. And again, we have said that repeatedly and I'm hoping that people realize at a certain point you say it so many times that you could never flip, and start your career by flip-flopping into it."
• Senator Marco Rubio of Florida: "I wanted to be a U.S. senator, not a vice presidential candidate, not a presidential candidate".
• Representative Paul Ryan of Wisconsin: Said in an interview, "I'll give you as Shermanesque a quote as I can: I am not going to run for president. I'm just not going to do it. My head's not that big, and my kids are too small."
• Senator John Thune of South Dakota: On his official website, Thune stated: "I have received encouragement from family, friends, colleagues, and supporters from across South Dakota and the country to run for the presidency of the United States... at this time, I feel that I am best positioned to fight for America’s future here in the trenches of the United States Senate."
• Representative Allen West of Florida: "well of course not"

The following people have either formed exploratory committees, are actively visiting the early primary/caucus states, and beating the hustings for donations, and/or have not denied they are running:

GOP/Tea Party

 

• Newt Gingrich - former U.S. Speaker of the House of Representatives from Georgia
• Herman Cain - businessman and radio talk show host from Georgia
• Fred Karger - political consultant and gay activist from California
• Jimmy McMillan - perennial candidate from New York
• Buddy Roemer - former Governor of Louisiana
• Ex-Governor Mitt Romney
• Ex-Governor Mike Huckabee
• Congressman Mike Pence
• Governor Tim Pawlenty
• Ex-Ambassador John Bolton
• Ex-Governor Haley Barbour
• Senator John Thune
• Governor Mitch Daniels
• Donald Trump
• Ex-Governor Sarah Palin
• Ex-Senator Rick Santorum
• Congressperson Michele Bachmann
• Former Senator Judd Gregg
• Ex-Governor and U.S. Ambassador Jon Huntsman, Jr.
• Former Governor Gary E. Johnson of New Mexico
• Representative Steve King of Iowa
• Ex-Mayor Rudy Giuliani
• Ex-Governor Bob Riley
• Representative Ron Paul
• Ex-Governor George Pataki

 Democrats

•  Ex-Senator Mike Gravel of Alaska
• Ex-Congressman Alan Grayson
• Ex-U.S. Senate nominee Alvin Greene of South Carolina

Green Party

 

• Former Socialist Party VP candidate Stewart Alexander

Libertarian Party

 

• R. Lee Wrights
• Stewart Alexander

 "Independent" candidates

 

• Robert "Naked Cowboy" Burck,
• Joe Schriner

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Being President: More Dangerous Than Coal Mining

By Jack Brummet, Social Mores Editor
and Pablo Fanque, National Affairs Editor

The odds of surviving the Presidency aren't really all that good.  Of forty-four Presidents, eight died in office (Harrison, Taylor, Lincoln, Garfield, McKinley, Harding, FDR, and JFK).  Nearly one in five Presidents will succumb to natural causes or be knocked off by a kook while they are in office.

Do you remember the "20 year curse" (sometimes called the curse of Tecumseh)?   Since 1840--with two exceptions--U.S. Presidents elected in years ending in zero have been killed or have died of natural causes while in office. One of those exceptions--Ronald Reagan, just barely escaped death--John Hinckley's bullet missed his heart by only an inch.  Gerald Ford had a gun aimed at him twice in one month!   FDR had five bullets shot at him by Giuseppe Zangara--even before he was sworn in for his first term.  Theodore Roosevelt was shot after he'd left office, but was running for a new term.  In fact, he carried the bullet in his body until he died.  Two Puerto Rican assassins attempted to shoot Harry Truman.   One guy was going to kill Dick Nixon by flying a commercial airline into the White House, 9/11 style.  He killed the pilot and co-pilot, but was shot before he could take off.  Reagan broke the "every 20 years" curse, but some people think the curse is just taking a little break.  George W. Bush extended that little break.  Interestingly enough, only one President--Zachary Taylor--who died in office didn't follow the 20 year pattern.

Some people believe the 20 year curse was an ancient Indian curse,  spoken by the great Indian chief Tecumseh after he and his braves were routed by the notorious Indian-fighting President William Henry Harrison at the Battle of Tippecanoe. 

Obviously a sample of 44 Presidents is such a small statistical sample that it may not be really relevant.  But, at the moment, we've had nearly fifty years without a Presidential mortality.  We're on a roll.

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Digital art by Jack Brummet: Sasquatch Nos. 3 - 6

click to enlarge

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Protest/Counter-demonstration: Pluto Is More Of A Planet Than Uranus

By Jack Brummet
Paranormal and otherworld editor

Here are a few photos from the very good-natured protest today, organized by the Greenwood Space Travel Supply Co. a/k/a 826 Seattle.  There was even a counter-protester there, holding signs that said "Eight Is Enough" and "No Special Rights For Rocks."  I went because I agree--I was P.O.'d when they demoted Pluto.

Some of the signs:  "Your science is wrong!"  "We support planets of ALL sizes"  "Pluto is more of a planet than Uranus will ever be"  "Pluto belongs" "Planet killers"  "Reinstate Pluto" "We support all sizes shapes and orbits"

click all images to enlarge

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Bring back Pluto! - rally and march today in Greenwood

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Pluto is too a planet! protest at Greenwood Space Travel Supply in Seattle on Saturday

By Jack Brummet
Paranormal and otherworlds editor

Click to enlarge - Photo courtesy of NASA

The whole problem began when scientists discovered that the "tenth planet" was slightly larger than Pluto.  Then came the great dis! I'd been hoping the tenth planet would actually expand the roster--and look at us now...with a pathetic rookerful of a mere eight planets!  These kids are right.  And they've been taking it to the streets for four years now.   

Pluto is too a planet! protest at

Greenwood Space Travel Supply Saturday

[from a press release by the Greenwood Space Travel Supply Co. a/k/a 826 Seattle]

Pluto used to be classified as a planet, until the International Astronomical Union redefined the term “planet” in 2006. Greenwood Space Travel Supply Co. was understandably upset, and has since hosted an annual Pluto is a Planet Protest March and Rally. The fourth annual rally begins at 1:30 p.m. Saturday.

It is an injustice that local nonprofit 826 Seattle and Greenwood Space Travel Supply Co., this planet’s only provisioner of space adventuring necessities, will fight until it’s overturned.

Show your support for this unique people’s movement by joining our march, chanting pro-Pluto chants, and waving/shaking signs.

Sign-making and pre-march pep rally will begin at 1:30pm at the 826 Seattle/Greenwood Space Travel -Supply Co. The march departs at 2pm. The rally will take place at Neptune Coffee (8415 Greenwood Ave N) starting at approximately 2:15pm. The rally will be brief, so be sure to arrive on time.

826 Seattle is a nonprofit writing center that helps students, ages six to 18, develop their creative and expository writing skills. We are dedicated to providing students with access to writing workshops, publishing projects, and one-on-one help with homework and English language learning – all free of charge.

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We found Pegeen!

This was a Facebook success story. . .reconnecting with our old dear friend Pegeen White, which happened around me digitizing all our old slides, and all our friends started chiming in.  And then I found a slide of Pegeen posted it, and within hours, we had found her after ten years or more of silence!

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Poem: Li Po Sits

Poem: Li Po Sits
by Jack Brummet

Four hundred and forty-thousand
Moons ago, Li Po sits
Drinking wine on a bluff.

The Sun fades into blue mountains.
On the other side of the ball,
The sun scales the horizon.

Crickets tune up
And the first bats
Sail from roost to roost.

I think about Li Po drunk again
In the mountains, waiting for word
And listening to the wind songs.

Lost and alone on so many levels,
He stares at the cup
And wonders when his pardon will come.

He holds an inkpot, scroll, and brush.
He listens to his skin fold
And his hair turn grey.

Between the mountains and stars,
A crow wheels over fogged red pines
Spiring in moonlight.

LiPo shakes wet peach blossoms
From his coat
And fills the cup.

Moonlight dances
On the golden wine
In the silver cup.

Who needs a clear head this night?
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Morons, or, Applied Idiocracy

click to enlarge

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The evidence mounts daily that Speaker of the House John Boehner is a level 4 bed-wetter.

The evidence mounts daily that Speaker of the House John Boehner is a level 4 bed-wetter.  /jack

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Can Newt Gingrich Run For President, And Dodge Questions About The Sewer Of His Personal Life?

By Pablo Fanque
National Affairs Editor

The idea that Newt Gingrich might actually run, and somehow dupe the Republicans into supporting him in the first place (his numbers are sucking wind), seems patently absurd if you take even a passing glance at the sewer of his personal life.   Republicans seem unlikely to give the nod to someone on their third marriage, especially when Wife No. 2 is talking to the press about what a P.O.S. he is, was, and always will be.
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