The Wrong Place At The Right Time: Secret Service Agents Reported Missing Following Barbara Bush Purse Theft

John Kincaid and Nicholas Cimino, Secret Service

Following an incident in which President Bush's daughter Barbara's purse was stolen in a Buenos Aires restaurant, two Secret Service agents have apparently disappeared.

The agents have not been in contact with their families for nearly a week. E-mails and calls to their cell phones have not been returned. Beltway speculators believe the agents are incarcerated in a U.S.-controlled prison facility in South America. The families of the two agents, however, have a darker story to tell, and believe the agents are the victims of foul play.

A White House staffer told a reporter from All This Is That that President Bush was apoplectic when informed of the incident. The President was quoted by one staffer saying: "I don't want to see these agents put out to pasture with a severance package. They're dead! If they got close enough to snatch her purse, they were close enough to kill her! What the f*** do we even have Secret Service for? I rely on them to keep my family safe and they can't even handle a trip to a restaurant! I'm glad they're in South America, because if they were here, I'd take bolt cutters to their balls! I'm supposed to be thankful no one's taken a shot at a President in 20 years? Well, I'm not. I'll have someone's head for this. Did this happen because I made them a part of Homeland Security? S**t! Those clowns could f*** up a two-car funeral."


First Daughter Barbara Bush had her purse and cell phone stolen as she had dinner at a Buenos Aires restaurant, even though she was under heavy guard by a Secret Service detail, according to ABC News. Another White House staffer, working the security advance detail, got into an fracas with unidentified Argentinians following "a night out." The aide was badly beaten, according to a local law enforcement official. The Secret Service said today the incident was an attempted mugging that went bad. There are rumors that the altercation was much darker that. Reporters have been unable to contact this agent, leading to speculation that he may also have "gone missing."

Two committees in the House of Representatives are reported considering opening investigations into both the breach of security and the apparent disappearance of the agents.

All This Is That's investigation of this incident continues and we will release breaking news throughout the Thanksgiving holiday week.
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