Frank Zappa's Rebuttal Of The Urban Legend He Ate S**t Onstage

"[1] I ate s**t on stage.
[2] I had a `grossout contest' (what the f**k is a `grossout contest'?) with Captain Beefheart and we both ate s**t on stage, etc.
[3] I had a `grossout contest' with Alice Cooper and he stepped on baby chickens and then I ate s**t on stage, etc.

I was in a London club called the Speak Easy in 1967 or '68. A member of a group called the Flock, recording for Columbia at the time, came over to me and said: "You're fantastic. When I heard about you eating that s**t on stage, I thought, `That guy is way, way out there.'" I said, "I never ate s**t on stage." He looked really depressed like I had just broken his heart.

For the records, folks: I never took a s** t on stage, and the closest I ever came to eating s**t anywhere was at a Holiday Inn buffet in Fayetteville, North Carolina, in 1973."

Frank Zappa