Monday, February 13, 2006

Cover-up: Cheney shooting "was no accident"

The Vice-President chats with aides
following Saturday's shooting mishap


Senior aides to Vice-President Cheney have disclosed to All This Is That startling new details of this weekend's shooting of Harry Whittington by the Vice-President. Aides say the incident was not an accident, as the press has been led to believe. An initial statement given to the press pool said "Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shot and wounded a companion on a weekend quail hunting trip in Texas, spraying the attorney Harry Whittington with birdshot. "

Harry Whittington, a millionaire attorney from Austin, was reported "alert and doing fine" in a Corpus Christi hospital Sunday. The Vice-President's office did not disclose the accident until nearly 24 hours after it occurred. Mr. Whittington is in stable condition in the hospital's intensive care unit.

According to aides, the story of the accident was patently false. Whittington did not, as the Vice President's office said "come up from behind the vice president and the other hunter without signaling or announcing himself." The initial statement even seemed to make light of the accident: "by god, Harry was in the line of fire and got peppered pretty good."

Aides to Mr. Cheney said The Vice-President was mad that Whittington had spooked a second covey of quail away and angrily pointed his shotgun at him. At least two aides say Vice-President Cheney intentionally shot at Whittington, believing he was far enough away to escape any shot from the blast. A third aide believes Mr. Cheney pulled the trigger accidentally as a result of one of his now frequent "nerve tremors."

The Democratic leadership announced Sunday they would demand a commission look into the charges of cover-up by Vice President's staff, as well as the Secret Service.
---o0o---

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I knew it!

Anonymous said...

This is about your 3rd or 4th great satire/troll over the last week.

Keep 'em coming!

Aaron P.

Anonymous said...

I had to put in some of the comments on this piece from FARK:

Just crazy enough to be true!

2006-02-13 02:42:42 AM j z


Who the hell is the nut running that blog?

2006-02-13 02:46:16 AM I_Hate_Iowa


Senior aides to Vice-President Cheney have disclosed to All This Is That...

I'm sure they have.

2006-02-13 02:54:46 AM OmniscientSean


Aide: "Mr. Vice President, there's a phone call for you from All This is That."

2006-02-13 02:55:49 AM puuukeey


did you ever see the show SOAP?

Anonymous said...

Cheney might just be crazy enough to do this. It's all true whether it happened or not!

Anonymous said...

As the days go on, it looks like you were right on the money!