Would we elect a bald President; a fat President; a homely President; a short President. . .?

The answer is yes. There is continuing debate and speculation, however, about whether we could, or would, elect an African-American President (Obama), a female President (Hillary Clinton), or a Mormon President (Mitt Romney). I don't think we know yet whether Mormons, women, or African-Americans are electable. I do know there are other categories and characteristics that may not be electable either. We've never had a President who was a dwarf, or who had a cleft palate, or was missing an arm or leg. When Steve Forbes ran for President, I postulated that he could never be elected because he was just too spooky looking. My friends just figured it was more Jack crazy talk. You saw how far Forbes got--even with what I thought was an appealing flat-tax plan.



Also-rans Michael Dukakis, Thomas Dewey, Alf Landon, and Teddy Roosevelt (who won once and was whupped once), were all 5' 8". On the other hand, winners Taylor, Harrison, Polk and Grant were all 5'8". McKinley, John Adams, Benjamin Harrison, Van Buren, and John Quincy Adams all won, even though they were 5'6" or 5'7". James Madison, at 5'4" was our shortest President. Jimmy Carter and Harry Truman, at 5'9" are the shortest Presidents after Teddy Roosevelt (who was elected in 1904!).



We know, then, that you can be elected if you are short--although we seem to be trending away from that. Bald, however? Women almost always retain their juvenile hairline through their entire lives, while 95% of Caucasian men develop a mature hairline. But Presidential hairlines don't seem to match up with that 95%.

We've had five bald and balding Presidents: John Adams and his son, John Quincy Adams -- both one-termers (and remember, from the previous paragraph, both were short). Martin Van Buren was seriously balding (and also was a one-term President). James A. Garfield was so bald they shot him. After the death of Garfield, it took 72 years to elect another bald President: Ike. Ike whupped Adlai Stevenson twice. Adlai was even balder than Ike (which, really, is just barely possible). Next up and the final bald President: Gerald Ford, the accidental president. He was never actually elected, and lost when he did run.

Out of two hundred some years of the U.S. Presidency, we've only had 23 years of bald leadership. This does not look so good for Joe Biden's Presidential bid.

The portliest President? William Howard Taft tipped the scales at 352.

A President who never married? James Buchanan.

Dan Murphy claims in an article on the presidents that Richard Nixon and LBJ were the ugliest Presidents: "Johnson hideousness was almost as bad as his Vietnam War policy. Nixon lost the 1960 presidential election because he was an ugly bastard."



The dumbest President? We'll never know for sure. An internet hoax, a few years ago allegedly listed the IQs of the last 12 U.S. Presidents. The study was done by The Lovenstein Institute (a think tank that doesn't actually exist). Bill Clinton topped the list with an IQ of 182. Jimmy Carter was second. Nixon was the highest ranked Republican at fourth. George Bush was listed at number 11 and George W. Bush was listed 12th with the lowest IQ...the dumbest President.

The Daily Kos quotes statistics from a study that originally appeared in Political Psychology.

"Whoa. This ought to be good.

Here are your top nine smmmmartest Presidents:

1. John Quincy Adams, IQ 175 (yipe)
2. Thomas Jefferson, 160
3. John F. Kennedy, 159.8
4. Bill Clinton, 159
5. Jimmy Carter, 156.8
6. Woodrow Wilson, 155.2
7. Theodore Roosevelt, 153
8. Chester A. Arthur, 152.3 (no flippin' way)
9. Abraham Lincoln, 150

And here's the bottom of the barrel:

41. George W. Bush, 138.5
42. Ulysses S. Grant, 130

Okay, so 138.5 is no dummy, and I've never thought Bush is actually a DUMB guy. He's just dumb compared to all the other Presidents, that's all. "
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