I don't know how much you fly, but have you ever noticed that when you're about to fly somewhere, everyone reminds you to "have a safe trip." I realize it's a sweet sort of blessing or good wishes for fliers. But wouldn't it make more sense to wish that when I was climbing the wheel of the car, where I might actually have an impact on the outcome of the trip? About the only thing in my power to do to have a safe trip on a plane is not freak out and break down the cockpit door and strangle the captain and first mate.I just got back from a trip to Newport Beach, but I had one of my more unpleasant T.S.A. experiences of late. This time I had cut it really close--I got into the security line with about 40 minutes before my plane took off. I don't know if they do this at random, if I was profiled, or what, but the woman who checks your driver's license and boarding pass, just said "Come with me." And she led me to the special, elite, bad-ass TSA security section. Only a handful of people were there getting the once over. And it was quite a once over. When I set off the metal detector (due to having a stainless steel hip), I received the most thorough going over I have ever received. I have probably flown forty times this year, but never had this treatment. It wasn't invasive or anything, just paintstakingly thorough and methodical.
As I was being patted and frisked, two other TSA stooges went through my bags. One guy unfolded every shirt, unrolled every sock, and opened every bottle of liquid I was carrying in my TSA approved plastic pouch, and the other guy took my shoes over to a special machine (presumably one that sniffs plastique explosive), and after the shoes, he went over to another machine with my laptop, my smartphone, my Sennheiser headphones, my Nintendo DS, and my iPod, and gave them some sort of electronic scan.
By the time I got to the gate, they had closed the doors. I could get another flight by paying $400, or I could hope for the best and go standby two and a half hours later.
Selah.
---o0o---
2 comments:
This is your punishment for admitting that executive travel can be fun sometimes. You have been warned!
It's true. I'll admit it can be very fun sometimes. But on the other hand, it's this inert world, of mostly cookie cutter people selling stuff (I mean the men [mostly] on the planes and in the hotels). The wackiest flights are to Orange County, where there are more people going to Disneyland than business travelers. . .then you've got kids, screaming, barfing, and generally leaping out of their seats in their excitement. It really bugs the business guys trying to get their work done on a laptop. Which is worth the price of admission!
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