Wednesday, September 01, 2010

Bloopers, hardballs, and just weird political quotations

"I stand by all the misstatements that I've made."
- Dan Quayle

"I experimented with marijuana a time or two, and I didn't like it. I didn't inhale and never tried it again."
 - Bill Clinton

"Look, when I was a kid, I inhaled frequently. That was the point."
- Barack Obama

I offer my opponents a bargain: if they will stop telling lies about us, I will stop telling the truth about them.
- Adlai Stevenson, campaign speech, 1952
"Being president is like running a cemetery: you've got a lot of people under you and nobody's listening."
–Bill Clinton

"I am convinced that UFOs exist, because I have seen one." (1976)
- Jimmy Carter

"Half the time, when I see the evening news, I wouldn't be for me either." (1995)
- Bill Clinton

"There are only so many lies you can take, and now there has been one too many. Nixon should get his ass out of the White House today." [in 1974, after some of the more damaging revelations implicating Nixon in Watergate emerged]
- Barry Goldwater (who didn't like Nixon in the first place)

"I'm the only President you've got." (1964)

“Did you ever think that making a speech on economics is a lot like pissing down your leg? It seems hot to you, but it never does to anyone else.”
"Better to have him inside the tent pissing out, then outside pissing in." [re: FBI Director J. Edgar Hoover]

"So dumb he can't fart and chew gum at the same time." [re: Gerald Ford]

"I don't mind not being President. I just mind that someone else is." (1986)
- Teddy Kennedy

"Let me make one thing perfectly clear. I wouldn't want to wake up next to a lady pipefitter." (1971 - quoted in Ms. magazine)
- Richard Nixon

"I don't give a shit what happens. I want you all to stonewall--plead the Fifth Amendment, cover-up, or anything else. If that will save it, save the plan." (1973 - to his subordinates in the White House during Watergate)
- Richard Nixon

"People have got to know whether or not their President is a crook. Well, I'm not a crook." (1973 - to the press during Watergate)
- Richard Nixon

"Well, I screwed up real good, didn't I?" (1974 - to Al Haig just before writing his resignation speech)
- Richard Nixon

"When the president does it, that means it is not illegal. But I brought myself down. I gave them a sword and they stuck it in and twisted it with relish. And I guess that if I had been in their position, I'd have done the same thing." (1977)
-Richard Nixon

"When I first came to Washington, for the first six months I wondered how the hell I ever got here. For the next six months, I wondered how the hell the rest of them ever got here." (1940)
- Harry S. Truman

"My fellow Americans, I am pleased to tell you today that I've signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever. We begin bombing in five minutes." (1984 - testing a microphone before a radio broadcast)

- Ronald Reagan

"After seeing the movie Rambo, I'll know what to do the next time something like this happens." (1985 - referring to the TWA hostage crisis)
- Ronald Reagan

"I've often wondered, what if all of us in the world discovered that we were threatened by an outer--a power from outer space, from another planet?" (1988)
- Ronald Reagan

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
- Dan Quayle

"We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
- Dan Quayle

“Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country." [during a September 6, 2004 speech in Poplar Bluff, Missouri]
- George W. Bush

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