"I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me."
— General George S. Patton
"The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching into Paris under a German flag."
— David Letterman
"The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq."
— Dennis Miller
"They've taken their own precautions against al-Qa'ida. To prepare for an attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, and a three-day supply of mistresses in the house."
— Argus Hamilton
"After what they say was an exhaustive investigation, the Defense Minister of France said today that Osama bin Laden is either still in hiding in Afghanistan, he may have escaped to Pakistan, or he may be dead. Hey, France, thanks a lot. We'll take it from here. Hard to believe they were invaded twice."
— Jay Leno
"What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its national will fighting against DisneyWorld and Big Macs than against the Nazis?"
— Dennis Miller
"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion. You just leave a lot of useless noisy baggage behind."
— Jed Babbin, former Deputy Undersecretary of Defense
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