BP's incontinence

By Pablo Fanque

National Affairs Editor

I worked for a year in college as an orderly in a nursing home.  I know something about bowel management.  For the last three months we have witnessed and been victimized by a savage case of mismanaged corporate & government bowel management. 

BP is incontinent, and only yesterday were they able to staunch the flow, momentarily.  It looks like Plan M may actually work.  For the first time in three months, the oil filling the Gulf has stopped.  Fortunately, incontinence in holes drilled several miles down through the sea floor, through a mile of water, may be corkable.  Alas, such is not the fate of home sapiens experiencing incontinence. You just can't put a cork in it.

If this latest corking scheme actually does what it's supposed to do, the sea floor doesn't crack or open a gaping sinkhole or port from Hell, and if the relief wells they've been feverishly digging actually work. . .well, we can at least call it over and maybe get serious about the enormous damage the oil leak wrought upon the southeast already.  Maybe people will even start thinking about how we can use less oil.  Right.

BP finally stops oil spewing from Gulf gusher
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