Mitt Romney reaches out to voters, saying, yeah, I like NASCAR. . .well, the owners

By Jack Brummet

Ex-Governor Mitt Romney was asked by a AP reporter the other day if he follows NASCAR, and Romney responded, "Not as closely as some of the most ardent fans. But I have some great friends who are NASCAR team owners."

 "I don't know people who fish but I know people who own yachts," tweeted Brad Woodhouse, communications director of the Democratic National Committee.

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Santorum: Satan has his sights set on the USA

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Kos Announces "Operation Hilarity: Let's keep the GOP clown show going!"

Announcing Operation Hilarity: Let's keep the GOP clown show going!

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Rick Santorum visits Seattle

The Ex-Senator swings through Seattle today. 

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Mitt Romney: Fading Fast

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Pants on fire: Mitt Romney tells another whopper today

by Jack Brummet, primary and caucus stringer

“I am the only candidate in this race, Republican or Democrat, who has never worked a day in Washington,” Mitt Romney said in a speech today.  “I don’t have old scores to settle or decades of cloakroom deals to defend.”

Mitt has plenty of deals to defend.  Just this week, he said he'd a been a fool not to look for Federal money.  Today, in The Morning Call, Colby Itkowitz writes:  "In a 2003 article in Boston-based Commonwealth Magazine, Romney’s chief of legislative and intergovernmental affairs, Cindy Gillespie, discussed the state’s Washington lobbying office and is quoted saying it “exists for one reason: to increase the amount of federal funding coming back to the state.”

In the same Commonwealth article, Gillespie says Romney’s team in Washington would seek aid from the federal highway bill and new homeland security funds.  Of course, Romney also fought hard for (and won) federal funding for his Big Dig project in Boston.

The bottom line is, Mitt Romney, when he was Governor, often worked in Washington, usually trying to cajole money for Massachusetts from the President and Congress.  The record shows many dozens of trips to Washington by Mittens during his governorship.  He wasn't going there for the parties and nightlife in Georgetown.

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The Twilight of Newt Gingrich

By Pablo Fanque, National Affairs Editor

Newt is spending today in Ohio, whistling past the graveyard

After three contests today where he achieved total irrelevancy, Newt has been spending his time in Ohio, in hopes of salvaging his candidacy. 

But. . .not only Newt is on the ropes.  Suddenly, and unexpectedly, Rick Santorum swept all three contests today...just after Ex-Governor Romney scored back-to-back wins in Florida and Nevada.  Those two victories led most pundits to predict that Romney was on a straight march to the nomination.  Wednesday will be an interesting day.  Maybe not everything has changed, but much has changed.

As for Newt himself,  he'll hang in for a while, and go through the motions in Washington State, Arizona, Maine, Michigan before Super Tuesday on March 6th.  In fact he claims--but, then, don't they all?--that he is staying in throughout the primary-caucus season, all the way to the convention.  But sometime between tomorrow and that convention, he will drop out, get to give a dramatic speech at the convention, and then become become a revived, if not beloved, senior statesman, and go to work for a think tank or as a sort-of-but-not-really-lobbyist.

The end of the road?  Or on the trail to Comeback Number Three?

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It was four years ago, almost to the day, that Mitt Romney ended his first quest for the White House

By Mona Goldwater

Four years ago yesterday, Mitt Romney bailed out of the 2008 Republican Presidential contest.   The people had spoken.

Things were looking better than they did back then until Mittens took a serious body blow in the heartland of America last night.  Sure, they shrug off these primaries and caucuses off beauty contests, but that's not what they were saying last week. . .

What are his spinmeisters saying tonight?  "It's always darkest before the dawn," or "we've only begun to fight?"  The Missouri and Minnesota losses weren't that shocking--these folks are going to vote mainly for the conservative candidate.  But Colorado?  What the Eff happened?  A few days ago, Romney was polling ahead in the double digits.  And tonight, Ex-Senator Rick Santorum whipped him by more than 5%.  Romney had plummeted 16% in a few days?  Maybe you can attribute this to his recent comments about the poor, or his recent financial disclosures, on top of his earlier verbal slips?  Or maybe people are just finally coming to their senses?  But that's not it, because those votes are going to Rick Santorum.

Mitt has been regularly tarred and feathered by his opponents as practically a Molotov-cocktail throwing Bolsheviki, or at best, a shameless flip-flopper and closet liberal, he walks into these next contests almost crippled.  As Bob Dylan wrote "It's not dark yet/but it's getting there."

In the battleground states, however, Mitt Romney and President Obama are polling neck and neck.  And, in the end, the battleground states are all that matter.   The center of the party would like to get focused on Romney and away from the opponent du jour.  But those damned voters keep getting in their way.

This could change rapidly, but in general, Romney now has to score in Arizona, Washington State, and the other states that vote/caucus before Super Tuesday, not necessarily to win, but to at least show he has some stuffing left.  But Super Tuesday is where his focus will be.  Super Tuesday is not as big as it has been in the past, but ten states is a pretty significant data point.  It may tell all.  But that's hard to know in this genuinely fragmented and bizarre nomination contest.

If anything, as a political dweeb,  this is all great news.  We now see the race, presumably with all four candidates, head into the next primaries and Super Tuesday.  No one is going to bail out before then, not now.

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The Romney Express

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Drawing: The contestants Paul, Romney, Santorum, and Gingrich

By Jack Brummet
[hand drawn on india ink scratchboard; digitized and captioned]

click to enlarge

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Newt's South Carolina win::::::::::The Republican ship is taking on water

By Jack Brummet, Paranormal, Art, Poetry, and Persiflage Editor (filling in for National Affairs Editor Pablo Fanque, on vacation in Belize)

I very much enjoyed Ex-Speaker Newt's win in South Carolina.  Why?  Because it was nice to see a cannonball blown through Mittens's aura of inevitability.  It's also nice to see the GOP in disarray/upheaval.  We have a different winner in each of the contests so far.  I don't know what the real pundits are saying, but I think this also bodes well for Ron Paul. 

The Mittens juggernaut has been slowed down--the ox is mired in the mud.  Do I want to see Newt as President?  No.  But as for the GOP itself, I enjoy the confusion and chaos.  Neither the establishment/money elite, or the Tea Party faction, or the fundamentalist wing seem able to right the Republican ship...and they're taking on water, fast. 

Why do I enjoy this SO much?  As Alfred Pennyworth said in another context "Some men just want to watch the world burn."

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Our 2010 Predictions on GOP candidates (all things considered...not bad)

By Pablo Fanque, National Affairs Editor
and Jack Brummet, Arts Editor

In late 2010, we guessed who would be running for President from the Republican (and Tea) Party in 2012.  Of our candidates, three are still in the race.  Many of our picks didn't even get off the ground; we missed Rick Perry and Michele Bachmann; Sarah Palin performed a protracted will she?/won't she skit; and several of our picks faltered before the Iowa caucuses.  On the whole, we did a lot better job of guessing than we did in the 2008 contest.

Who is the next candidate to bail?  We are guessing Rick Santorum.  The South Carolina contest is extremely volatile.  Newt has incredibly, surged ahead in the last few days, and in some polls is besting Romney.  But then he was hit with some new dirt from his first wife.  And he even made some hay with that in the most recent debate. 

Despite everything he has said and done, we somehow prefer Newt to Rick Santorum.  We think he will nudge Santorum out in SC.  Ron Paul will remain stable, but will stay in the contest because he has rabid fans that keeping pouring money into the campaign. 

It looks like Florida may be where the rubber meets the road.  Let's see what happens in South Carolina this weekend. . .
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Barry Goldwater pilots a 737 between Seattle and Everett, Wash.

Thank the Lord he wasn't piloting a bomber!  The original caption to this photo:

"1964 GOP Presidential candidate Barry Goldwater pilots a Boeing 737 twinjet during a visit to Boeing facilities. Goldwater flew the plane from Seattle to Everett, Washington, and back, including take-off and landings, while touring Boeing plants assembling the 737 and 747 superjet."

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Indecision 2012

Are we “stakeholders,"

Helpless bystanders,

Hostages,

Or, just guests

In a political playpen

That doesn't really belong

To us at all?

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Newt nails down the coveted Todd Palin endorsement

By Pablo Fanque, National Affairs Editor

Ex-Speaker Newt Gingrich has secured the coveted endorsement of Todd Palin.  The Ex-Governor's husband told ABC news today that the Gingrich campaign has “burst out of the political arena and touched many Americans.”

Todd Palin, known as the "First Dude" during his wife's term of office, didn't have anything negative to say about the other Republican Presidential candidates, but that his "hat is off to everyone” in the race.

Palin's wife Sarah has yet to endorse any of the candidates for President.

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Have you ever had sex with Rick Perry?

By Mona Goldwater, Social Mores Editor

The answer to the question in the display ad in the Austin Chronicle turns out to be no.  At least no one has come forward since this ad was posted last August, just after Governor Rick Perry entered the Presidential contest.  The advertiser *may* have had some takers had they, as Larry Flynt has in the past, offered a significant sum of cash for the story. [Ed's note: the advertiser is a Ron Paul supporter.]

At the time the advertisement appeared, publications like Salon duly noted the appearance of the ad, but also said  there is no evidence Perry has ever engaged in an extra-marital affair, as much as his opponents and the left wanted to believe otherwise.  The text in the ad reads, "Are you a stripper, an escort, or just a 'young hottie' impressed by an arrogant, entitled governor of Texas? Contact CASH [Committee Against Sexual Hypocrisy], and we will help you publicize your direct dealings with a Christian-buzzwords-spouting, 'family values' hypocrite and fraud."

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Mitt Romney between a rock and a hard place

By Pablo Fanque, National Affairs Editor

I was going to write about Mitt Romney's having pigeon-holed himself to the extent that he can only pull a quarter of the votes in any given contest.  Sure, he looks like he will be strong in New Hampshire, but after that?  The right, and even the middle (if one actually exists in the G.O.P today), seem thoroughly unenchanted, as do we all.  I don't see the Republicans circling their wagons around, holding their noses and crowning Mitt. . .at least until they become truly spooked.  And that is coming on fast.  So far, he's shown he can beat Michele Bachmann and  Rick Perry.  I was going to write about this, but when I saw this image on the FYVM web site I knew I didn't have to write anything.  That's Mitt in the corner.

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John McCain's recent endorsement of, and his thoughts on, Mitt Romney in 2008

By Pablo Fanque, National Affairs Editor
illustration by Jack Brummet

Although Senator John McCain endorsed Mitt Romney in his quest for the presidency yesterday, this is a new position  for him.   Wednesday's McCain-Romney event was a rather stiff affair, and seemed to stop well short of a heart-felt embrace of Romney.  The endorsement was a one-hand-washes-the-other/quid pro quo arrangement for Romney's 2008 endorsement. The only thing missing is John McCain holding his nose and crossing his fingers. . .

In 2008, Senator McCain had a different take on Mittens:

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Iowa Republican Caucus Contestants: Huntsman, Bachmann, Gingrich, Romney, Perry, Santorum, and Paul

Illustrations by Jack Brummet, except Newt Gingrich No. 2 (Artist unknown)             

The Govnah

Ron Paul

Newt One

Newt Two

Newt Three

The Hunt

Santo

Hotlips Bachmann

Mittens

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Three-time Senate candidate Christine O'Donnell

Digital Art by Jack Brummet

I was inspired to revisit Candidate O'Donnell after her hilarious "endorsement" of Mitt Romney (see Christine O'Donnell endorses Mittens, pouring salt on his festering flip-flop wound).

click to enlarge

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