On the road to California

After my travel over the last two years--around 140 flights--I've been pretty landlocked since returning from Asia and Europe, aside from one quick trip to Oregon. Six weeks on the ground! You may recall how at the beginning of all this traveling, I was still needing extremely heavy medication to even approach a plane. I made B.A. Barackus looks like a seasoned traveller. These days I start getting restless when I am planted on the ground too long! Today, I am once again off to San Francisco/Berkeley, and will probably hit Southern California, Boston, and maybe even England and India, in the next short while. Quick trips like this are nice. You can go pretty much alpine style. [Editor's note: Three days later, we read the article/post and the first thing that struck us is Jack Brummet's laughable claim he was going alpine style, as he carried a spare pair of contact lenses, an Apple iPod Nano, Nintendo DS and dozens of games, a Blackberry Curve telephone/palmtop computer, and a real computer (laptop) with a satellite connection, about five different wall chargers and USB cables, two books, art supplies, a change of clothes--and extra clothes even!!!]

My bag will include

• Contact lens stuff (along with a spare pair) and a pair of glasses (just in case everything goes wrong), a toothbrush and paste, floss, and medicine.
• Two pairs of socks and drawers.
• Some pants a/k/a trousers.
• A button down shirt.
• A swimsuit and goggles.
• A quarter zip sweatshirt.
• One t-shirt.
• One iPod Nano.
• One Nintendo DS, five games, and a CyclopsDS cart filled with games.
• One Dell ultralight laptop, parts, and accessories.
• One BlackBerry curve 8130.
• A translation of Grimm's Fairy Tales and High Crimes, an Everest expedition book.
• Sunglasses, pens, pencils, a poetry and sketching notebook

And to make it all even sweeter, I was upgraded to first class on both legs of the trip.

It's always great to get back to the East Bay, although I rarely stay long enough to spend any time in my old Berkeley stomping grounds. I always want to go up into the Berkeley Hills to visit where Claire, Keelin, and I first lived together, in the UC married student's housing, just above the deaf school, nestled in Eucalyptus, and sitting directly on the Hayward fault. We used to feel little tremors and earthquakes daily there. Deer walked down the hills into our yard, and we had a view of the Golden Gate from our window.

Maybe this is no politics Wednesday. It's been a political orgy lately, and today it still feels a little like we've had a surfeit of political news. But that could change any minute. . .
---o0o---

Blown by the TSA again/Aviophobia once again

The Bombardier 200, the 36 passenger turbo-prop used
on the runs between Seattle and Eugene and Portland, OR

I'm back from two nights, three days, four flights, and five cities (SF, Emeryville, Oakland, Eugene, Portland) on the road. Since I get frisked on every flight, I received the goosing four times this trip. And in San Francisco, I was once again blown by the TSA. They put you in a booth and jets of wind swirl around you for five seconds and stop. Then a red light comes on as the machine analyzes your scent for explosives, and allegedly, drugs, and maybe even the anarchist scent. I particularly resent being blown by the TSA, because it's clearly done by profiling. Being frisked, I am more sanguine about. Yeah, I have a large stainless steel femur and it sets off alarms. Fine. But when they put me in the blowjob booth, it's not because of my prosthetic hip but because I am not apparently a businessman.

I am a Vice President of something or other, but they have no way of knowing that. It doesn't cut any ice if you don't fit the traditional mold. Since I dress in Salvation army couture (aka northwest grunge/boho), have shaggy hair and a beard, and carry a pack instead of one of those tacky rolling suitcases, I get singled out. I resent the blowbooth and everything it stands for. The TSA would tell you they're doing a great job of profiling people, because nary a plane has been hijacked since September 2001. Au Contraire. They've been lucky. At least once I've accidentally carried a very sharp Gerber mini-magnum onto a plane undetected...even though I was singled out at the metal detector and frisked. But leave your computer or a bottle of water in your luggage, and the entire TSA cadre harangues you and points you out as an example to the other hapless security line goobs.

There were about seven or eight girls ahead of me in line, traveling together. I don't think most of them had ever flown before. The TSA was merciless because they hadn't taken their belts off, removed their shoes, placed their gels, liquids in a plastic bag in which none of the liquieds ir gels could exceed 3.4 ounces, removed their laptops and placed them in a bin separate from the bin for their shoes, belt, and liquids. Naturally, they also fluffed the "remove your coat, warm up jacket, sports coat, jacket and any other outer garments" and didn't finesse whether hooded sweatshirts were kosher or trefe. They seemed like sweet kids and it was a comedy of errors that became amusing to watch. They all kept apologizing. I helped the last two sort their gear in accordance with the latest protocols and we finally go through "security."

The flight from Eugene to Portland, although it is only about 30 minutes, was harrowing this time. We encountered King Hell turbulence ten minutes into the trip, just about as we hit 10,000 feet. The plane, probably ten times, dropped 100 feet or so, and at one point both dropped 100 feet and tilted almost sideways. Naturally, they cancelled the Horizon free wine and beer cart immediately--just when you needed it most!
---o0o---