Poem: Why I won't run for President

Because of my past
And because of my present
Because who knows what might come out
Because I will say almost anything for a laugh
Because who has the time to raise $200 million
Because I would work to repeal the 2nd amentment
Because I would also work to repeal the 22nd amendment
Because much of my platform begins "mass involuntary _____"
Because I would mandate mandatory music at least five hours a day
Because we could never build enough holding tanks, prisons, camps, and islands of exile
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166 Years Ago Today, William Henry Harrison Became The Fastest President Ever

Fast indeed. In an earlier article on All This Is That, I called him the drive-by President. He was an empty suit, and it was probably best for the republic his term was as short as it was. There are a more than a few of us that regret the current President didn't try to tackle his record. Harrison lived for exactly one month after being inaugurated. The Whigs rolled out the voters in this election with free balloon rides, live music, and free whiskey.

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