Shaggy Dog Story No. 17 - Charlie goes to Vegas

By Jack Brummet, Folk Tales Editor

Charlie is working in his store when he hears a booming voice from above: “Charlie, sell your business.” He ignores it. It goes on for days. “Charlie, sell your business for $3 million.” After weeks of this, he relents, sells his store. The voice says ‘Charlie, go to Las Vegas.” He asks why. “Charlie, take the $3 million to Las Vegas.” He obeys, goes to a casino.  The Voice says, “Charlie, go to the blackjack table and put it down all on one hand.” He hesitates but knows he must. He’s dealt an 18. The dealer has a six showing. “Charlie, take a card.”  What? The dealer has — “Take a card!” He tells the dealer to hit him. Charlie gets an ace. Nineteen. He breathes easy. “Charlie, take another card.” What? “TAKE ANOTHER CARD!” He asks for another card. It’s another ace. He has twenty. “Charlie, take another card,” the voice commands. I have twenty! Charlie shouts. “TAKE ANOTHER CARD!!” booms the voice. "Hit me," Charlie says. He gets another ace. Twenty one. The booming voice goes: “un-f***ing-believable!”

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Poem: [It comes and goes like a hit and run driver]

1
It comes and goes
Like a hit and run driver.

An errant bullet's ricochet,
A pickpocket works the crowd,

Your worst enemy gets the drop on you,
The rogue bacteria waits on a doorknob,

Or maybe the crosswalk you don't walk into
As a driver speeds through the light

While you stop to tie your shoe.
Luck and circumstance conspire to save you.

2
Every glorious second you spend here,
You engage in a game of dodge ball,

And bob and weave through a multitude
Of objective hazards, walls, and shoals

Over which you have no control―
Only a fraction of which you ever feel.

3
If we knew of every near-miss,
It could be tough to keep shuffling on,

And somehow, we learn just enough
To mostly keep us on our toes.
---o0o---