All This Is That: the internet

Showing posts with label the internet. Show all posts

Monday, June 14, 2010

It looks like Boob-gate is over? Pablo Fanque ponders the never-ending Sarah Palin "news cycles"

By Pablo Fanque
National Affairs Editor

Like the stories about Trig's paternity, and even better, maternity; her very public spat with her daughter's Ex-BF; tales of skulduggery in the Governor's Office; and reports and photos of junior high-style crib notes written on her palm with a Sharpie, we enjoyed the recent Boob-gate stories--and photographic evidence--circulating on both mainstream and wack sites.

As you probably know from visiting All This Is That, we've never believed in letting the truth get in the way of a good story.

At All This Is That, we've never really been Palin-haters. Now granted, we were stunned to see her nominated for VP inthe first place, were alternately amused and horrified to see her in action those first couple of awkward weeks, and generally, been mostly depressed about her political ascendancy and amazing ability to sell books. But she's lobbed plenty of cheap shots of her own, too, and more than earned whatever piling-on comes her way.

All that said, Boob-gate is just another chapter in the bizarre and continuing story of the Ex-Governor. Only last week, she was making headlines over her new neighbor, author Joe McGinnis, and just what his intentions were in becoming her neighbor. Whenever Sarah Palin is out of the news for more than two weeks, some new contretemps or imbroglio erupts, and shortly thereafter, the Ex-Governor emerges to feed the teabagging rabble red meat by castigating the press, The President, Congress, and the Democrats.

OK. The silicon bag story is over (but really, unresolved). Now, hang on two weeks for the next installment in the Sarah Palin psychodrama. . .

Naturally, this followed the usual trajectory. After the story bounced around the internet and mainstream media a few days, Ex-Governor Palin appeared on Fox's Greta Van Sustern show to set the record straight.

"I know that “boobgate” is all over the Internet right now because there are a lot of, I guess, bored, idle bloggers and reporters with nothing else to talk about. And I think some of those folks, too, they need to grab a shovel, go down to the gulf, volunteer to help, clean up and save a whale or something instead of reporting on such stupid things like that.
"No, I have not had implants. I can’t believe, yes, that we’re even talking about this."

Save a whale? Really?
---o0o---

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Arguing on the internet

[click all images to enlarge]

I've received a lot of weird mail on All This Is That over the last four years. Love letters, letters demanding I remove something offensive to someone somewhere, hate mail, insanely argumentative emails that totally missed that what they are reacting to is parody/satire (like a great deal of the extreme statements printed here), and the usual offers and blog spamming. The weirdest stuff, of course, I ignore. I have been sucked into the morass of some pretty stupid debates. I usually avoid them. . .except with those who actually still seem to have even a marginal grip on reality.

The ISS website has some great tips. . .a virtual toolbook for winning internet arguments:

To make up for your lack of research and knowledge, use big words:

Opponent: Saying gays can't march is in direct conflict with the Constitution.
You: Your claims are trefilonious and scadlidiously out of tremdemnation.

Don't be swayed, and even if you are, don't show it.

Opponent: So you see, "The Simpsons" is still quite a relevant show, certainly more so than Family Guy.
You: Nevermind, this is stupid.

Ignore what other people have to say.

You: So you want solders to march into your house and eat your food?
Opponent: The Third Amendment isn't even relevant anymore.
Someone else: He's right, there haven't been enemy soldiers on U.S. soil in 150 years, the possibility of it happening now is almost impossible ever since the creation of the National Guard. You: So you want enemy soldiers sleeping in your bed?

Act like you're satisfied with your point, then leave before hearing your opponent's retort.

You: All the fuck Maddox does is write about how much he hates stuff, oh real funny, He's a fuckin' genius! I'm outta here.
Opponent: Um, did he seriously just leave the chatroom?
Someone else: Yeah.

Always have the last word, even if it doesn't really fit the discussion.

"You: So I guess we can agree to disagree?
Opponent: sure.
You:....shithead

Ask a question you know is unanswerable.

You: I just don't see what's so great about it.
Opponent: Red Son is so brilliant because it's a hypothetical story that asks a cool question: What if Superman landed in the Ukraine instead of Kansas?

You: If you lived in the Ukraine would you still think it was so brilliant?
Opponent: ?????What?????

Point out misspelled or uncapitalized words in your opponent's argument.

Opponent: Tim Burton's batman was way better than The Dark Knight.
You: Says the guy who can't even capitalize "Batman," and technically, "The Dark Knight" goes in quotes, dumbass. Who taught you English?

Act like your opponent doesn't understand what you're saying.

You: I'm just saying that Superman would totally beat Shazam in a fight.
Opponent: So you think Shazam is weaker that Superman, I know.
You: You obviously don't understand what I'm saying.

The Big Big Planet Blog has an article, "How to win Internet arguments." Here is one of their suggestions (and one I have repeatedly employed here, along with the Nazi suggestion below):

"Group your opponents into large collectives and give them names (for e.g. “the anti-war camp”, “pro-war people”, “the opposition”, “the media”, “abortionists”). Then whenever necessary, you can bring up the less intelligent quotes previously made by other members of their group to re-refute."

Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka writing at Something Awful, posted a piece years ago, titled "How to Win Any Argument On the Internet." There were four precepts he expands upon:

NEVER DEFEND YOUR OWN POINTS (just attack the other person's argument over and over and over)

CLAIM YOU WORK IN WHATEVER FIELD YOU'RE ARGUING ABOUT.

IF LOSING AN ARGUMENT, FEIGN FRUSTRATION AND THEN CLAIM YOU'RE BLOCKING THE PERSON. ("Every person on the Internet harbors a secret fear of having their communications blocked by somebody, particularly when they're devastating that person in an argument").

AT SOME POINT IN TIME, CLAIM THE OTHER PERSON IS A NAZI. ("Every, and I repeat EVERY Internet argument should involve at least one comparison to either Hitler or the Nazis").