The latest Secretary Rumsfeld poetry: five new poems

Every couple of months, I sift through a few of Secretary Donald Rumsfeld's press "opportunities," press conferences, and speeches. A few poems usually emerge. In our continuing series, here are some poems spoken by the Secretary in February, 2006, at two venues: an interview with Charlie Rose, and remarks he made to National Guard Youth Challenge Participants on February 28.


24 hours a day


The new media environment
Where there are cell phones and blackberries
And e-mails and 24-hour talk radio

24-hour news programs
And the internet and bloggers
And all of these things that move information

Instantaneously all across the globe
24 hours a day,
7 days a week.
---o0o---

The 20th century

The United States government
Is simply not organized

And arranged and structured
To cope with that.

We're still in the 20th century.
---o0o---

A very difficult one

If you're engaged in a major battle
With major armies and navies competing
And air forces competing, that's one thing.

The center of gravity of that war
Is where those battles occur.
Today, we're not competing

With our major armies, navies or air forces.
It's an unconventional conflict.
It is irregular warfare.

It is asymmetric and the battleground
Is not so much out there,
It is here.

The center of gravity is in the capitals of cities
All across nations all across the world
Because it's a totally new environment

And a very difficult one.
---o0o---

Too old to cry

When I was roughly your ages --
That was a long time ago --
There was a Governor from Illinois named Adlai Stevenson.

He ran for President a couple of times
And lost to General Eisenhower
Both times.

He spoke at my graduating class in college.
It was between his two defeats.
Someone asked how he felt about losing.

He said well,
He was too old to cry
And it hurt too much to laugh.
---o0o---

Rewards, and pebbles in the pond

I've often thought of throwing a pebble in a pond
And watching the ripples go out.
And how interesting that is that each person

Touches a series of circles
Of people
That you come in contact with.

If each of you represent the ripples that go out
To the others you touch in your daily life,
You'll find yourself rewarded many many times over.

---o0o---

President Bush intends to beat Tricky Dick

The President appears to be "shooting the moon" with his current approval rating of 34 percent. The operational theory amongst the White House staff is "if you can't come out on top, lose big."

Only two Presidents stand in the way of President Bush's title quest. Jimmy Carter's approval ratings plunged to 26 percent in July 1979. The current title holder, President Richard M. Nixon, sank to a 24 percent approval rating in July 1974 and resigned the next month. President Bush is intent on besting Tricky Dick's record.

The President may be closer to his goal than anyone knows. According to Seattle political analyst John Newton, "It's insane. I can't even reliably crunch the data anymore. There is no precedent for this kind of bumbling. The numbers are decelerating logarithmically! If I had to make a guess, George Bush's approval rating will be hovering in the high 'teens sometime in early May."
---o0o---

President Bush achieves an all-time low in approval ratings

CBS News released a poll yesterday that shows President Bush's approval rating has fallen to an All-time low of 34 percent. Skepticism of the Iraq War has soared to an all time high. He's also being shelled over the U.A.E. port ownership scam.

Not even considering the merits of what The President is or is not doing, you have to wonder what has happened to the White House? These guys used to be able to at least put up a front of playing hardball. Now, they seem to be constitutionally unable to get in front of a story. They actually seem more worried about Sen. Hillary Clinton possible Presidential run than they do about the infected wound gnawing away at their giblets. Has The Administration finally and irrevocably "jumped the shark?"

What can possibly happen next? Tomorrow may tell. These guys have blown it so badly with missteps at every critical juncture. . .the odds seem to say they've got to win one sometime! It might be time to bag Osama bin-Laden.

Vice-President Cheney will resign from office "due to health reasons" within sixty days. He will be replaced by someone safe like ex-governor Mark Racicot, or if they get really bold, someone like Governor Romney, or one of the other Presidential contenders. Senator McCain or, say, Citizen Rudolph Giuliani would be brilliant choices. But brilliant choices are a thing of the past, if, indeed, they actually ever made one. Things were sketchy before, but the last wheel seemed to come off the entire administration during the ill-fated Harriet Miers court nomination. They may never get the wheels back on.

34%. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
--------o0o--------

Bizarre scheme: Republicans threaten to release White House sex tapes

In a last ditch effort to gain leverage and clean up the White House, a small group of Republican congressmen are threatening political blackmail with explosive video footage taken in the White House residence. A southern Congressman familiar with the scheme said "Everyone wanted this buried. Until they'd been burned about four times this month alone. They're fighting for their political lives."

One moderate Senator's aide told All This Is That "It's as if the White House is on Howard Dean's payroll! Look at just the recent scandals. The Plame story, Cheney's shadow government, Katrina and Brownie, DeLay, Abramoff, and now, in a week, the Cheney hunting thing, an Arab takeover of ports, and Iraq coming apart at the seams. " The aide continued ". . .this is as dirty as it gets. It makes the Lewinsky story look like Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm."

A subcommittee chair in the House spoke of "bumbling the domestic wiretap revelations, mishandling foreign affairs with our friends and enemies, and now boxing themselves in on this insane Dubai port takeover--the list goes on and on and on. Yeah, threatening them with the tapes is extreme. . .but you are dealing with extreme people. All we're trying to do is get them to listen to reason. It's realpolitik. . .a desperate move based on practical considerations. We hope it doesn't come to that."

Informed sources describe scenes of the President, First Lady, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, Jeff Gannon, aide Harriet Miers, Scott McLellan, Sen. Bill Frist and other officials. The footage is also said to include "professional sex workers."

A prominent G.O.P. fundraiser told us "Yes, I've heard about these tapes. The President's people are asleep at the wheel. There are enough rumors out about these tapes that it's already drastically affected our fundraising ability in the midterm elections."
---o0o---

The Everglades & back to business

One of the several alligators we saw up close. This one was about eight feet long. We also saw an old bull close to shore, but hidden in a mud cave, with his head sticking out. He was big compared to the other 8-10 footers we saw. A good chunk of his face had been torn off years ago. He opened his mouth wide. I counted about five teeth.

Our last day in FLA, we went on a self-guided walking through (part of) the Everglades. It's our Galapagos. It's incredible how much wildlife and vegetation there is per square inch! We saw alligators, sawgrass marshes, bladderwart, and, of course, mangroves, and cypresses, wood storks, ibises; herons and egrets. Thousands of fish. Snakes. And hundreds of critters deeper in the swamps

rustling
chirping
swimming
chomping
swatting
flapping
splashing
crawling
bellowing
buzzing
and rubbing their legs together.

We even attended a brief talk on the endangered Wood Stork. The picture above is one of the docile alligators (really, probably well-fed) we encountered. Wow.


My daughter Claire breaks the fifteen foot rule. . .

[click images to enlarge]
----------o0o----------

A new painting

Click to enlarge...

I bought this strange painting this week in Jensen Beach. . .it is called "Ode to Darwin." The snapshot does not do it, nor the spectacular frame justice. I wonder if I'll be able to ship it back in one piece? It's too big to carry on the 'plane... /jack
---o0o---

Kayaking with the dolphins

Del and I were sea kayaking today, off Jensen Beach. We went out for a couple of hours, and got pretty far out. We didn't see much except a couple of lonesome seabirds, a hawk, and a bird Del swore was a duck, but which was the most amphibious duck I'd ever seen in my life.

We gave up on seeing any whales or manatees, or anything exotic, and were headed back in. About three hundred yards from shore, we ended up in the middle of a--school? pod? pride? herd? team? of dolphins. They seemed to be playing and frisking around in the water. In fact Del seemed pretty convinced they were actually just showing off for us...

We watched off to the side for fifteen minutes. Suddenly, they ran into a school of those "flying fish" and things got pretty interesting. The fish definitely decided to beat their fins, with the dolphins in hot pursuit. The chase was on, and we paddled home. Wow. Every day so far has been something cool, some new revelation.

Carl Hiaasen, one of the great living American novelists, long ago, and with every succeeding novel, really fired up my imagination, and Florida has turned out to be every bit as wonderful and depressing as he led me to believe. Fortunately, we've mostly avoided the depressing parts (all of which have to do with the development of Florida). I love this place.
---o0o---

On the beach at Bathtub Reef

Here we are at Bathtub Reef. The tenperature is about 80 degrees outside. The water is about 72 this week. . .brisk, but swimmable (particularly for the youth). (later note: interestingly, the water in Miami Beach was probably ten degrees warmer).
---o0o---

Florida photos - the last freshwater lagoon in Florida

Click to enlarge


The youth at the freshwater lagoon adjoining our cabin in Jensen Beach. We walked up there at sunset several times to watch the hundreds of seabirds roosting for the night (see to the left of the photo).
---o0o---

All This Is That Reheated: Poem - The Return Of The King

click to enlarge



When aliens land
Do they come as Farmers,
To harvest seeds they planted long ago?

Is it "hi, Mom," or "hello cousin,"
Or will we enslaved as drones?

Will they stop in for phosphorous or zinc?
Or will they just toss earth in the back
Of an enormous galactic flatbed truckfarm pick-up
And head back to Zeta Reticulon?

Will they make this spinning ball
A rendering plant, or will they
Come to absorb our wisdom, art and humanity?

We never picture
aliens, greys, or martians
Coming in peace
Because we never came in peace.
---o0o---

All This Is That Reheated: Footwashing Baptists & The Catholic Devils

Another All This Is That Reheated today, as I continue my Florida hiatus. This is from fourteen months ago, about my young days as a Baptist. All This Is That returns live this Saturday... /jb


"THEY DO NOT EVEN READ THE BIBLE! THEY IGNORE THE GOOD BOOK! THE NEW TESTAMENT OF CHRIST OUR LORD IS IGNORED!" Confession was an excuse to sin even more--a free pass to perdition! Our ministers ranted against The Priests, The Nuns, The Brothers, The Bishops, and Cardinals. Most of all, they railed about the devil incarnate: His Holiness, The Pope, in his gilded palace, The Vatican.

The Reverend bemoaned "THE ABOMINATION OF THE EUCHARIST," the foul and damning Catholic doctrine of transubstantiation and its perversion of what was clearly intended by Our Lord to be symbolic.

"THE CATHOLICS WERE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE OUTRAGES OF THE SAINT BARTHOLOMEW'S DAY MASSACRE IN WHICH FIFTY THOUSAND OF GOD'S PRECIOUS CHILDREN WERE MURDERED! THE CATHOLICS RAN THE INQUISITION!"

There were, of course, also degrees of weirdness within our own denomination. The Southern Baptists with their prohibitions against makeup and dancing among other things, were considered a hopeless bunch of joyless prunes (even in our church, that went so far as to use Welch's Grape Juice for communion). Looked even further down upon were the Immersion Baptists--who took you to the river for baptisms, even in January. We did that only in the summer, but it was more ceremonial that doctrinaire. Still further down the line were the Foot Washing Baptists. At last you come to the Snake Handling Baptists, who were so out there that they did indeed feel like a cult. There is probably another splinter sect of Baptists somewhere, performing even wackier acts in the name of religion.

When does a cult become mainstream? When does a cult jump on the rail and become a church, or religion? I'm not really sure. Clearly, the Church of Latter Day Saints has transcended cult status and gone on to become the fastest growing church in the world (I think Orthodox Judaism is the second fastest growing).

[1] check out the links in the articles there--one to Wired and one to a whole (free) book on the Project Gutenberg site).

/jack
---o0o---

44 years ago today we finally got an American into orbit

I actually remember what I was doing forty-four years ago. . .at least part of the day. When John Glenn safely landed Friendship 7, I rememember my parents let me walk to the post office and buy the 4-cent stamps they put on sale as soon as Friendship 7 splashed down...

On February 20, 1962, John Hershel Glenn Jr. successfully launched into space aboard the Friendship 7 spacecraft on the first orbital flight by an American astronaut.

During Glenn's descent back to Earth, the straps holding the retrorockets gave way and flapped by his window as a shroud of ions caused by excessive friction enveloped the spacecraft, causing Glenn to lose radio contact with mission control. As mission control anxiously waited for the resumption of radio transmissions that would indicate Glenn's survival, he watched chunks of retrorocket fly by his window. After four minutes of radio silence, Glenn's voice crackled through loudspeakers at mission control, and Friendship 7 splashed down safely in the Atlantic Ocean. Reluctant to risk the life of an astronaut this popular, NASA, for all intents and purposes, grounded him. He later won election to the U.S. Senate and was re-elected three times. In 1984, he for the Democratic nomination for president. A few years ago, they sent him back into space as the oldest astronaut ever...

Jack in Jensen Beach FLA, a few miles from Cape Canaveral...
---o0o---