Painting: Where Darwin Stands Today

click on painting to enlarge. . .

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How evil are you??

Take the quiz, and let me know just how evil you are. . .I hit 40%. And, yeah, I did answer truthfully...

You Are 40% Evil

A bit of evil lurks in your heart, but you hide it well. In some ways, you are the most dangerous kind of evil.

How Evil Are You?

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Nearly catatonic President soils pants following voodoo doll disclosure - White House terrorist charged with littering

Litterbug leads to President's sedation

A man who lobbed a paper bag onto the White House lawn yesterday is in custody, according to the Secret Service. A suspicious package, spotted shortly after President Bush left on a helicopter trip to Wheeling, W.Va, was examined using a remote-controlled device.

"Normal security protocols were in place," a Homeland Security told All This Is That. "Nothing in the bag was dangerous per se. B ut the bag did contain several mutilated voodoo dolls. The President was extremely upset when told about the contents of the bag."

According to our White House source, the President has had an unreasonable fear of voodoo and zombies since childhood. After the disclosure, The President was sedated, and Air Force One returned to Washington immediately. "Look, this is on the Q.T.," our source said, "but someone even said he had an involuntary evacuation, if you know what I mean."

The Secret Service secured the White House and raised its internal alert system one level during the investigation, according to a Homeland Security official, "It's unfortunate, but there is nothing illegal about black magic or witchcraft. Yeah, might be able to charge him with creating a public nuisance but it looks like the only thing we'll be able to tag him with is littering." ---o0o---

Poem: Changes Three/Trouble Ahead

You have difficulty beginning
And gaze into the abysmal water
Under rumbling thunder

Difficulty beginning
Leads to the upside
Through perseverance

To win
You bring troops
To impose order on the melee

With every hesitation and hindrance
The trouble grows
The dragon is freed

Moving brings good fortune
Everything you do
Acts to further

But when the horse
And the wagon part
The bloody tears will flow.
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Changes Two/The Receptive

You may be receptive
And a bottomless chasm
Look to your friends in the west and south

Quiet perseverance brings goodness
You may be receptive
But every bucket needs a bottom

You may be receptive
But every bucket soon fills up
The earth's condition is receptive

She takes everything we dish out
So far
Nothing remains unfurthered

Dragons fight in the meadow
Their blood
Is black and yellow.
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Four years and counting: another grim milestone in the Iraq War

This week marks the beginning of the fourth year of the Iraq War. The President, Vice-President, and Secretary of Defense all marked the occasion by delivering guardedly optimistic speeches and pep talks.

According to the New York Times, "Mr. Bush, Vice President Dick Cheney and Secretary of Defense Donald H. Rumsfeld sounded much as they had on the first anniversary of the invasion. At that time, the rebuilding effort had just begun, the insurgency was far less fierce, and the American occupation had suppressed, temporarily, the sectarian violence scarring Iraq today."

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Osama bin Laden guest appearances on niece's reality show spark outrage

An upcoming "reality show," starring Osama bin Laden's niece has sparked outrage, protests and riots around the United States. Wafah Dufour, daughter of terrorist bin Laden's half-brother Yeslam, stars in the television series following her quest to achieve success in the music business.

The September 11th Family Association demanded the show be axed before it was aired. A Family Association spokeswoman yesterday said that the show "is an absolute disgrace. " Producer Judith Regan, the publishing whiz, defended her decision to make the reality show: "Wafah may be related to Osama - but she isn't him. She's a beautiful young woman who is gifted and trying to find her own way in life. "

The public outcry and protests, however, turned to riots when it was revealed that Osama bin Laden would make several guest appearances on the series. All This Is That has obtained clips of several of bin Laden's appearances in the program. In one scene, bin Laden's niece, Wafah, accidentally discloses the location of Osama's hideout. The clip shows Osama, his wives, and lieutenants running around Keystone Kops style, trying to get everything packed up before the Americans arrive.

A second show's plot details bin Laden falling in love with a 15 year old Jewish girl, and comically attempting to convince her parents to allow her to join his harem.

In a third episode of the program, Osama's niece guest stars on Sesame Street and brings along "my famous uncle," who attempts to convince Bert and Ernie to convert to Islam.

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Poem: Changes One/Action

The dragon stays underwater
The master of river and lake

The dragon stays below the surface
Because his time to act has not come

He should not act
But gather strength

The dragon emerged
Has gone too far

The dragon reaches his limit
Because alone he has no leader.
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Poem: revolt in heaven

It's horizontal here
And the clouds roll every which way

We spend the day drumming on blue trash cans
And humming on our blue kazoos

We're teaching the angels how to sass
And drink beer

Tomorrow's lesson: fun things to do
When you hike up your fig leaves.
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George Bush & the Geometry problem

Test question from George Bush's college Geometry 202 class.

President Bush lights up the "c***suckers" in the press

President George W. Bush, acknowledged his stunning freefall in the polls, saying on Thursday that his unpopular decisions have hurt his standing but that it "comes with the territory and you. . .you've got to stand on what you believe." A year into his second term, Bush is beset with a job approval rating of 36 percent, with Americans disapproving of his handling of the war the U.S. economy, the Dubai ports fiasco, and other issues that just won't go away. His popularity among Republicans is now falling even faster than his approval ratings among the public at large.

An Associated Press reporter asked if President Bush accepts responsibility "Or do you continue to blame the press for your drop in popularity?"

The President angrily shot back "Will the press continue to fan the flames? You f***ers know you will. I've never seen such a gang of backbiting drunkards in my life...every one of you sonofab****es has poked a shiv into me whenever you had the chance. There was a time when you c***suckers in the press knew your place. If I was LBJ, you'd be Windexing the sneezeguards at the Olive Garden now. If I was Nixon, you'd just disappear after a friendly drive with Chuck Colson or Gordon Liddy. Yeah, twenty years ago, we'd make an example of a few of you and the rest of you pieces of s***would fall into line. . ."

Members of the White House communications staff called the press conference to an immediate close and escorted The President from the briefing room. Other communications staff asked the press to "voluntarily relinquish all tapes and recordings" of the conference. "We are a nation at war. The last thing we need is to embarrass The President publicly." The President's tirade was fed live to various internet news sites, where it spread rapidly among the websites and blogs that follow national politics.
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Here's mud in your eye: Bono says Bob Geldof nearly spat on Tony Blair

U2 honcho Bono got between Sir Bob Geldof and P.M. Tony Blair to prevent him from hocking a 'loog at the Prime Minister, according to contactmusic.com

After Geldof became agitated, Bono stepped in to shield the P.M. from a spit shower. Bono said: "I have seen Geldof try to bite prime ministers. I accept the rules of ultimate fighting, which are: you can't poke someone in the eye or bite them, and Bob doesn't."
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