Sunday, April 09, 2006

Alien Lore No. 70 - Report on the Ontario UFO crash...



UFOlogists say there is a conspiracy by Canadian and American agencies to hide the information about a UFO recovered from a swamp in 1989.

In the 1980's, UFO sightings in Canada escalated to a fever pitch. . .specifically, around nuclear power plants. On Nov. 4, 1989, Canadian Defense Dept. radar picked up an object travelling at phenomenal speed over Carp, Ontario.

The UFO stopped suddenly, and dropped like a stone.

The Canadian and American governments were informed about the landing and triangulated the UFO to an area off Almonte and Corkery Roads. The ship had landed in deep swamp. Two Apaches and a Blackhawk chopper headed for the area the following night. The helicopters carried full weapon loads. They were part of a black-ops American unit that specialized in UFO and alien recovery.

The Apache attack choppers spotted a glowing, blue UFO, 70 feet in diameter sphere. Both gunships unleashed their full weapon loads of 8 issiles each. All 16 were exploded downwind from the ship. The missiles carried VEXXON, a nerve gas that kills on contact. Exposed to air the gas breaks down quickly into inert components. Immediately after having completed their mission the gunships turned around, and headed back across the border.

The Blackhawk landed and a six man strike team charged out and entered the UFO through a portal. No resistance was encountered. Three dead crewmen were found.

Later, a team of technicians shut-down the UFO. On November. 6, 1989, trucks were brought into the swamp and the UFO parts were transported to a secret facility in Kanata, Ontario.

The locals were informed that a road was being built through the swamp. The humanoids were packed in ice and sent to an isolation chamber at the University of Ottawa. CIA physiologists performed the autopsies.



The reptilian, fetus-headed beings, were listed as Non Terrestrial Entities.

The ship was partially reassembled at the underground facility in Kanata. Unlike previous recoveries, this UFO was no explorer or voyager. It was heavily armed and armored. No rivets, bolts, or welds were used in fastening, yet the craft has no seams--likie it was formed from one solid piece of magnesium alloy. It was powered by a cold fusion reactor. It had independently targeting electronic beam weapons.

Hmmmmmm. . . in the cargo hold, were fifty Soviet nuclear warheads. Their purpose was
revealed by advanced tactical/combat computers located in the flight deck. The aliens had agreed to defend China from the free world's combined military and nuclear forces.

The Soviet warheads found in the UFO were destined for Syria. CIA operatives in the Middle East have noticed huge movements of Chinese "technicians" and "advisors". China is also supplying the Arabs with bacteriological agents, Migs, Hind gunships, tanks, and
missile launchers.

The Warheads were hijacked from Soviet subs in the Dragon's Triangle. A section of alien controlled Pacific once frequented by Russian subs. After losing some 900 high yield warheads and 13 vessels, commanders were ordered to steer clear of the area. You think?!

Also discovered on board were spheroid, brain implants. The CIA and Canadian government had allegedly performed mind experiments for years, a continuation of the CIA psychological warfare project known as MKULTRA. Using signals transmitted at the same wavelength the human brain uses, researchers could control the test subjects. The alien implants utilize the same principles except that the whole unit is subminiaturized and contained in the brain. Fortunately the implants can be detected by magnetic imaging. All implanted folks are officially classified as Zombies.

The Zombies are programmed to help overthrow Mankind in the future. When China finishes with Israel it will invade Europe. Chinese bacteriological weapons will be launched at the Arctic. The winds will carry the diseases into Russia and North America. In days hundreds of millions will be dead. Anyione who survives will have to reckon with Chinese, aliens, and
the Zombies.



The aliens want all out war so that human resistance would be minimal, when they invade. They tried this same tactic once before with Nazi Germany. Most of the scientific advances we have today came from German science which was based on alien technology. Had Hitler won the war, the earth would have become a concentration camp to depopulate the continents for aliens.

Data aboard the sphere explained why the aliens are so comfortable on earth. Some 675 million years ago, an interdimensional war destroyed most of their civilization, and forced them to leave the earth. They have returned to take back their planet.

The story says the aliens will launch their attack soon, because if they wait too much longer, it will be impossible even for the aliens to reverse the ecological damage inflicted on the Earth by us.
---o0o---

Saturday, April 08, 2006

Gonzales will not rule out wiretaps on purely domestic phone calls

According to a press release by Congressman Adam Schiff:
During a hearing before the House Judiciary Committee today, Rep. Adam B. Schiff (D-CA) questioned Attorney General Alberto Gonzales about the NSA's secret domestic wiretapping program. The Administration has cited the Authorization to Use Military Force and the commander in chief powers as authorizing the NSA to intercept international communications into and out of the U.S. of persons linked to al Qaeda or related terrorist organizations.

After citing his concerns that there was no limiting principle to the Administration's claim of authority in the War on Terror, Rep. Schiff asked the Attorney General whether the Administration believes it has the authority to wiretap purely domestic calls between two Americans without seeking a warrant.

"I cannot rule that out," responded the Attorney General.
---o0o---

Friday, April 07, 2006

Make your very own Chevy Tahoe commercial

Chevy cordially invites you to make your own Tahoe commercial. I made one (but forgot to add a soundtrack)...

Click here to see jack's commercial.

4/10/2006 update. Alas, Chevy has removed my commercial. I don't think it was what they were looking for. . .the last few frames had the text:

And when I hit you, my 12 airbags go off.
They have to remove you from the road with shovels and firehoses.

Is this a great country or what?
---o0o---

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Flashback: President Bush vows to "take care of" CIA leaker (with SFW POTUS photo)


President Bush speaking at a
press conference in Feb. 2004

Former VP Chief of Staff Scooter Libby has testified that President Bush authorized him to disclose the contents of highly classified intelligence documents to the media. The disclosure was made to bolster the Bush administration's case for war with Iraq, according to a federal court filing by the special prosecutor, Patrick J. Fitzgerald.

All This Is That remembers that in February, 2004 The President welcomed a Justice Department investigation into who leaked the name of a CIA operative.

"If there's a leak out of my administration, I want to know who it is," Bush told reporters at an impromptu news conference during a fund-raising stop in Chicago, Illinois. "If the person has violated law, that person will be taken care of. "
---o0o---

A second joke I know by heart


OK, I lied when I said I only knew one joke by heart. Yes, besides the Ungawa joke, there's the Kangaroo joke:

A proper British couple saved their money all year to go on holiday to the outback of Australia. It was to be a real "rugged" adventure. After am endless airplane flight, and a savage bus ride into the Outback, they arrived at their long-awaited destination. . .a tarpaper shack in a clearing with several Land Rovers parked on the side.

Tired, but eager to get started, they went in to speak with the "tour director. "

"G'day mates", said a friendly man behind the counter. "Here's some keys for a Rover and a map. Just follow the trail along and you'll circle back 'round after a few hours." The couple took the keys, jumped in one of the trucks and proceeded along the trail.

About a mile down the trail, they happened on an aborigine who was right in the middle of the road, hopping wildy about, and having sex with a kangaroo. The woman turned to her husband in shock: "Barbarians!", she said. "Drive around...that's disgusting!!"

The man detoured around the man and beast, and resumed the ride. . .horrified by what they'd just witnessed. No sooner had they stopped talking about the incident when they happened upon a one-legged aborigine, screwing a knothole in a tree by the road.

"Savages!!" the woman cried in horror. "Turn this truck around! I can't take any more of this!!" Her husband complied and they returned to the shack. Finding the director again behind the desk, the man exploded: "We've saved all year to come on this trip! We wanted to enjoy the beauty of the wilderness, and what do we see? First, there's a pervert screwing a kangaroo in road, then a one legged man screwing a tree!!! I can't tell you how disappointed we are!"

"Aw, c'mon now mate" said the director..."You can't expect a one-legged bloke to manage a roo!"
---o0o---

Alien Lore No. 69 - President Jimmy Carter's UFO Encounter

During Jimmy Carter's tenure as Governor of Georgia, he sighted a UFO in Leary, Georgia.

The sighting was on January 6, 1969 at 7:15 P.M. Governor Carter filed a report with the NICAP (National Investigations Committee on Aerial Phenomena). The report explained that there was a large, bright object in the sky. It moved toward him from a distance, stopped, moved away, and then departed. It had a blue color at first, and then turned red. It was more like a light than a solid object. The object looked to be the size of the moon. It was about 300-1000 miles away and 30 degrees above the horizon.

Robert Sheaffer, a scientists that works for the government believes that Jimmy Carter really saw Venus, but Carter denies that. He even signed a paper that states that he encountered a UFO.


A former Defense Intelligence Agency official, a senior Stanford Research Institute policy analyst and the constitutional attorney Daniel Sheehan have all confirmed that President Carter's attempts to obtain UFO information was thwarted by illegal actions by rogue military and intelligence entities.

Ronald Reagan also had encounters with UFOs. Click here to read about one.

Click here to read about Goldwater, Nixon, and Ford's close encounters.
---o0o---

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

New Riots In France


Demonstrators, ahem, rioters, opposed to a new jobs law massed in downtown Paris Tuesday, threw rocks, tore down signs and ripped up park benches.

Tactical riot police fired tear gas, charged the crowds, and made some arrests. The police said one million people were demonstrating and rioting all around France. Leaders of the protest said it was more like three million. The Eiffel Tower was closed, and plane and train service was halted for the second time in a week.

Prime Minister Dominique de Villepin cooked up the despised "first job contract" in an attempt to jump start the economy and lessen youth unemployment. De Villepin claims it would encourage job growth hiring by allowing employers to fire workers under 26 during their first two years on a job without giving a reason. As it stands currently, it is extremely difficult to fire amyone in France, and when you do, you essentially have to pay them off.


---o0o---

The Delay Is Over

Beseiged former Majority Leader Tom DeLay threw in the towel today, a month after promising to give his Republican rivals "an old-fashioned Texas whoopin'."

In a statement announcing his resignation to constituents, DeLay said, “I have no fear whatsoever about any investigation into me or my personal or professional activities.”

The new house Republican leader John Boehner said “He has served our nation with integrity and honor, and I’m honored to call him my colleague and friend.” He said integrity.
---o0o---

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Thirty-eight years ago today, Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr. was assassinated



Thirty eight years ago, Martin Luther King Jr. was shot while he was standing on the balcony of his room at the Motel Lorraine in Memphis.

MLK came to Memphis to support a sanitation workers' strike and was going to dinner when a bullet entered his jaw and severed his spinal cord. He was dead on arrival at the hospital. He was 39 years old.


Shortly before his murder, Martin Luther King came to focus on economic inequality in America. He began planning an interracial "Poor People's March" on Washington and in March 1968 had traveled to Memphis in support of the exploited sanitation workers. A workers' rotest march led by King in late March ended in the death of a black teenager. King promised to come back in early April to lead another demonstration.

The day before he died, he gave his last sermon, the amazing and moving mountaintop speech:



















"We've got some difficult days ahead, but it really doesn't matter with me now. Because I've been to the mountaintop. And I don't mind. Like anybody, I would like to live a long life; longevity has its place. But I'm not concerned about that now. I just want to do God's will. And he's allowed me to go up to the mountain, and I've looked over, and I've seen the promised land. I may not get there with you, but I want you to know tonight that we as a people will get to the promised land."

One day later, Dr. King was assassinated, allegedly by James Earl Ray.
---o0o---

Alien Lore 68 - UFO/Alien Reporting Form from UFORC

This is the official Alien/UFO report form from the National UFO Resource Center, a Seattle group. There are several other national groups that collect and research UFO/Alien reports, including CUFON in Seattle, and MUFON .







UFORC.COM
*OFFICIAL A.C.E. REPORT FORM*


IDENTIFICATION

Name___________________
Gender (M/F) ____________
Age____________________
Street Number ___________
City, State, Zip Code _______

Country ________________
Home Phone _____________
Work Phone _____________
E-Mail Address ___________


DESCRIPTION OF EVENT
Event Location (City/State/Country) ___
Date of Event ____________________
Time of Event ____________________
Duration of Event _________________
Weather Conditions ________________
Has this event been reported by you to any other agency (Y/N)? (If Yes, please name)
Previous ACE____________________
Additional witnesses______________


DESCRIPTION OF ALIENS

Number of Entities __________
Shape____________________
Eye color _________________
Height ___________________
Sound? __________________
Weight __________________
Color ___________________
Behavior ________________
Additional Details/Markings _______________________________
Was the alien: passive friendly hostile other ____________________
Did you see a UFO? YES NO
Time loss/memory loss? YES NO
Photo(s)/Film/Video/Sketch available? YES NO


UFO PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTICS: (Check appropriate boxes)

Light form only ____________________
Vehicle/Device ____________________
Animal reaction ____________________
Physical traces ____________________
Atmospheric traces _________________
Psychological event _________________
Bodily or Anatomical event ____________
Electromagnetic event _______________
Landing/Touchdown of UFO __________
Prior UFO sightings ________________


UFO FLIGHT CHARACTERISTICS: (Check appropriate boxes)

Passed overhead ____________________
Within 200 feet of ground ______________
Within 200 feet of witnesses ____________
Under cloud ceiling ___________________
Change in motion ____________________
Continuous flight ____________________
Stationary target ____________________

Other facts you may wish to include:


Please suggest the best time a UFORC investigator may contact you for follow-up:

Monday, April 03, 2006

A parable of Inauguration Day, 2009: Sven's Dog

Torval and Sven were sitting in a Ballard tavern.

Tor asks: "Sven? Why is your dog licking his ass? Does He have worms or something?"

Sven turns to him and says: "No. . .he's O.K. He ate some lutefisk and he's trying to get the taste out of his mouth."

---o0o---

Sunday, April 02, 2006

Poem: The Walt Taborski Dream


click paintings to enlarge


Walt Taborski starred
In a recurring dream
When I was eight years old.

I dreamed I was dreaming
And kept hearing
A tap tap tap.

I thought the tapping
Was the dream
And woke up.

The tapping started again.
I didn't know if I was awake
Or awake in the dream.

I dreamed I was dreaming
I slid out of bed
And edged along the hallway

Toward the tapping
On the kitchen window
Facing the big blowsy roses

In the backyard.
When I got to the kitchen,
His face was in the window.
























Framed by the roses
And darkness
Was the unearthly face

Of Walt Taborski,
Peering in, moving his head
Side to side

In his steel-grey fedora,
Stiff wool overcoat,
And coke-bottle glasses.

His eyes bore down on me.
I coudn't scream
And I couldn't move.

I couldn't look at those eyes,
But with those eyes,
I had no choice;

I could only stare
At the Peeping Tom
Petrified anything I did

Would cause him to burst in.
I inched away
Nearly motionless

As if slow
Would buffalo him,
And he wouldn't actually see me

Drift from his focal point
Imperceptibly backing up
To the perceived safety

Of my room.
At the end of the hall,
I could cut and run.

The sheets in my bed were cold
When I climbed back in.
In the morning,

And every time I dreamed the dream,
I never knew
If it was him

Or me dreaming
Him in the window,
And I never told anyone

About Walt Taborski looking
In the window
Until tonight.
---o0o---