Growing up: Hillbilly home-made toys

click young John/Jack to enlarge

If you've read any of these growing up stories, you remember I grew up poor. That didn't necessarily mean we didn't get toys (which my parent's generation would call "store-bought"). We did get toys for birthdays and Christmas, and in between, we played with toys my dad made (he also built boats, bikes, and even campers). There are a few he made I can't quite remember, but I know they involved bobbins, and wooden thread spools. He could create dozens of objects from rope. His Navy days had left him a master knotsman, and some of my favorite toys were his ropework. Here are some of the toys he made, and we played with. This is only a small part of his toys--the others are lost somewhere in the haze floating over the Green & White River Valley.

The Paper Hat. He could fold several styles of paper hats from newspapers. One was the one below--almost a Papal hat; another was a skull-cap sort of affair; and he could also create an excellent Pirate Hat as well. E-how tells you how to make your own, if you'd like to take a crack at it.



Dad also made several varieties of bathtub or pond motorboats. The illustration below shows one of his standards.


This was no work of genius, but he also made us tin can telephones (and tin can puddle jumpers):

One of my favorites was the Monkey Fist. It wasn't that useful if you weren't climbing mountains or tossing a rope from a ship, but it had this heft and symmetrical coolness that made you want one. We always had one tied to the dinner bell on our back porch (how tarheel is that? How many of you had a "dinner bell?").

There was a very simple toy called a Buzz-toy, that John, Sr. called a "zippo." This was possibly my most beloved toy. I could even make one myself when he showed me where to find the cord. He always used a kind of hybrid thread, with cotton and some sort of synthetic like nylon. You could really get these zippos zipping! If you had a strong cord, you could really get these things moving, and it generated a great low, rumbling whirring sound:

Other growing up stories on All This Is That:

The Time I Got Drunk With Roy Rogers

Kent, Washington

It Can Happen Here: Japanese Relocation Camps, 1942-1946

More on the El Rancho Drive-in in Kent, Washington

snack bar ads, intermission countdowns, and the El Rancho drive-in

All This Is That reheated: Hucking eggs in Kent, Washington

A Blog for Phil Kendall

Four more images of Kent, Washington in the 40's and 50's

Kent, Washington's Meeker Street 1946

Too good to leave in the comments: Scooter and the Hell's Angel Heavy chug-a-lug

Scooter and $2 all you can drink beer day at the Sundowner circa 1973

Fishing With The Old Man

Uncle Romey

Uncle Guy, more hillbilly cred, and living a good life

My Grandma's tavern in Carnation, Wash.

My Dog Slugger

Hucking Eggs in Kent, Washington

Square Dance At Valley Elementary

Foot Washing Baptists & The Catholic Devils

Hillbilly Cred

Growing Up In Kent, Washington: Tarheels, Hayseeds, Hillbillies, and Crackers

Cruising the Renton loop with a keg of nails

My Worst Jobs: 50 Tons of Sand

My Pathetic Political Career

Defensive Daydreaming (the second poem in these links, and one of my favorites)

"Chicken Thieves Busy in Kent And Vicinity"

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Oh, you can't get to heaven: Boy Scout songs

Click the scouts to enlarge

This is a song we often sang in Boy Scouts. We substituted verses that spotlighted the adults who were along on our camping trips ("Oh you can't get to heaven/in Mr. Crawford's car/Because Mr. Crawford's car/stops at every bar").





Oh, You Can't Get to Heaven
Written By: Unknown
Copyright Unknown


Oh, you can't get to heaven
(Oh, you can't get to heaven)
On roller skates
(On roller skates)
'Cause you'd roll right by
('Cause you'd roll right by)
Those pearly gates
(Those pearly gates)

Oh you can't get to heaven
On roller skates
'Cause you'd roll right by
Those pearly gates
I ain't gonna grieve my Lord no more.

I ain't gonna grieve my Lord no more
I ain't gonna grieve my Lord no more
I ain't gonna grieve my Lord no more.

Oh, you can't get to heaven
(Oh, you can't get to heaven)
In a rocking chair
(In a rocking chair)
'Cause a rocking chair
('Cause a rocking chair)
Won't get you there
(Won't get you there)

Oh, you can't get to heaven
In a rocking chair
'Cause a rocking chair
Won't get you there
I ain't gonna grieve my Lord no more

I ain't gonna grieve my Lord no more
I ain't gonna grieve my Lord no more
I ain't gonna grieve my Lord no more.

Oh you can't get to heaven
(Oh you can't get to heaven)
In a limousine
(In a limousine)
'Cause the Lord don't sell
('Cause the Lord don't sell)
No gasoline
(No gasoline)

Oh you can't get to heaven
In a limousine
'Cause the Lord don't sell
No gasoline
I ain't gonna grieve my Lord no more

I ain't gonna grieve my Lord no more
I ain't gonna grieve my Lord no more
I ain't gonna grieve my Lord no more.

Oh, you can't get to heaven
(Oh, you can't get to heaven)
In a motorcar
(In a motorcar)
'Cause a motorcar
('Cause a motorcar)
Won't go that far
(Won't go that far)

Oh you can't get to heaven
In a motorcar
'Cause a motorcar
Won't go that far
I ain't gonna grieve my Lord no more

I ain't gonna grieve my Lord no more
I ain't gonna grieve my Lord no more
I ain't gonna grieve my Lord no more.

If you get there
(If you get there)
Before I do
(Before I do)
Just dig a hole
(Just dig a hole)
And pull me through
(And pull me through)

If you get there
Before I do
Just dig a hole
And pull me through
I ain't gonna grieve my Lord no more

I ain't gonna grieve my Lord no more
I ain't gonna grieve my Lord no more
I ain't gonna grieve my Lord no more.
---o0o---

"18 Million cracks in the ceiling": Hillary Clinton calls it quits

by Pablo Fanque
National Affairs Editor, All This Is That
Washington, D.C. Saturday 6/7/08

OK. We supported her. And then we didn't support her. She and her husband have perhaps too often aggressively pursued their dream, and along the way made some dumb comments about race, Obama's religion, Bobby Kennedy and other tasteless faux pas. . But today, when she finally conceded defeat, it was Hillary Clinton who made the big classy speech, as she bowed out.



"As we gather here today," she told her fans and staff at the National Building Museum yesterday, "the 50th woman to leave this Earth is orbiting overhead. If we can blast 50 women into space, we will someday launch a woman into the White House."

"Although we weren't able to shatter that highest, hardest glass ceiling this time, thanks to you, it's got about 18 million cracks in it," the Senator said, "and the light is shining through like never before, filling us all with the hope and the sure knowledge that the path will be a little easier next time."
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"A lack of focus" [on our nuclear weapons!!!] " Gates fires Air Force officials

This is a mind f***er of all mindf***ers. Like some of you, I grew up in the duck and cover era. We practiced dodging the effects of a nuclear bomb. Watch this video to get an idea of the national obsession with nuclear attack, as well as our laughable solutions for surviving a direct atomic bomb attack. As it turns out, not only are we under-prepared, but the air force may even be part of the problem, and not the solution, and safety-net, we've been led to believe in.

This week, Defense Secretary Robert Gates fired (rather, he asked for the resignations of...) two top Air Force officials Thursday, saying an investigation into the mistaken shipment of missile parts from Hill Air Force Base to Taiwan exposed a systemic "lack of focus" on nuclear accountability. In addition to the resignation of Air Force Chief of Staff Gen. Michael Moseley and Air Force Secretary Michael Wynne, Gates said a "substantial" number of other officials - presumably including some from Hill - might be fired or reprimanded.



Our handling of nukes seems just about on the order of those of the breakaway 'Stans and former Soviet Republics. We are about as casual in handling these deadly weapons as the guys who stock the shelves at your grocery store. In short, whatever they found was so scary it even spooked the Bush Administration. And those boys are not easily spooked. If Bush is spooked, the rest of us should be racing for the Pampers and shoveling out a bomb shelter in the back yard.
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Video by Roman Coppola: Matthew' Sweet's Sick of Myself (with lyrics)

I've always loved this song, and the album, 100% Fun, that is now over ten years old. Another song on the same album, "We're the same," is every bit as good. MS is a pop genius.

Sick of myself
by Matthew Sweet

You don't know how you move me
Deconstruct me
And consume me
I'm all used up
I'm out of luck
I am starstruck
By something in your eyes that is keeping my hope alive

But I'm sick of myself when I look at you
Something is beautiful and true
In a world that's ugly and a lie
It's hard to even want to try
And I'm beginning to think baby you don't know

I'll take or leave
The room to breathe
The choice to leave you
I'll throw away
A chance at greatness
Just to make this
Dream come into play, I don't know if I'll find a way

cause I'm sick of myself when I look at you
Something is beautiful and true
In a world that's ugly and a lie
It's hard to even want to try
And I'm beginning to think baby you don't know
I'm beginning to think baby you don't know

There's something in your eyes that is keeping my hope alive
But I'm sick of myself when I look at you
Something is beautiful and true
In a world that's ugly and a lie
It's hard to even want to try
And I'm beginning to think baby you don't know
I'm beginning to think baby you don't know
---o0o---

Video: Muddy Waters plays Mannish Boy

Ooooooh, yeah, ooh, yeah

Everythin', everythin', everythin's gonna be alright this mornin'
Ooh yeah, whoaw
Now when I was a young boy, at the age of five
My mother said I was, gonna be the greatest man alive
But now I'm a man, way past 21
Want you to believe me baby,
I had lot's of fun
I'm a man
I spell mmm, aaa child, nnn
That represents man
No B, O child, Y
That mean mannish boy
I'm a man
I'm a full grown man
I'm a man
I'm a natural born lovers man
I'm a man
I'm a rollin' stone
I'm a man
I'm a hoochie coochie man

Sittin' on the outside, just me and my mate
You know I'm made to move you honey,
come up two hours late
Wasn't that a man
I spell mmm, aaa child, nnn
That represents man
No B, O child, Y
That mean mannish boy
I'm a man
I'm a full grown man
Man
I'm a natural born lovers man
Man
I'm a rollin' stone
Man-child
I'm a hoochie coochie man
The line I shoot will never miss
When I make love to a woman,
she can't resist
I think I go down,
to old Kansas Stew
I'm gonna bring back my second cousin,
that little Johnny Cocheroo
All you little girls,
sittin'out at that line
I can make love to you woman,
in five minutes time
Ain't that a man
I spell mmm, aaa child, nnn
That represents man
No B, O child, Y
That mean mannish boy
Man
I'm a full grown man
Man
I'm a natural born lovers man
Man
I'm a rollin' stone
I'm a man-child
I'm a hoochie coochie man
well, well, well, well
hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry
Don't hurt me, don't hurt me child
don't hurt me, don't hurt, don't hurt me child
well, well, well, well

Yeah
----o0o----

Jack Brummet drawing: a jury of your peers

click your peers to enlarge

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Full body scanners cranking up at Baltimore, Denver, Albuquerque, JFK, Dallas, Detroit, LAX, Vegas, Miami, and Wash., D.C. airports

Courtesy of the TSA, body-scanning machines that scan beneath your clothing are installed or are being installed in 10 of the nation's busiest airports. Los Angeles, Reagan National Airport, Baltimore, Denver, Albuquerque and JFK airports are already checking out random travelers. Dallas, Detroit, Las Vegas and Miami will be added this month.

"It's the wave of the future," said James Schear, the TSA security director at Baltimore/Washington International Thurgood Marshall Airport, where two body scanners are in use at one checkpoint.
---o0o---

The Pros and Cons of Hillary as the Veep

MSNBC has a cogent aticle on the pros and cons of a Hillary VP candidacy. Check it out here.

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Forty years ago today, Bobby Kennedy was assassinated

Forty years ago today, just after midnight, 42-year old Senator Robert F. Kennedy, a presidential candidate (who was on fire, with the most exciting, hope-filled campaign of my lifetime so far), was shot three times in the Ambassador Hotel in Los Angeles. Five other people were wounded. The senator had just finished his speech after his win in the California presidential primary.

The shooter, a Palestinian, Sirhan B. Sirhan, is still in prison in California today, and will again be eligible for parole in 2011.

Senator Kennedy fought for his life over the next day, but died on the morning of June 6th. He was buried at Arlington National Cemetery, not far from his assassinated older brother, JFK.

---o0o---

Red Wine: the fountain of youth?

"Red wine may be much more potent than was thought in extending human lifespan, researchers say in a new report that is likely to give impetus to the rapidly growing search for longevity drugs," according to an article in the Herald-Tribune.

Serious scientists have long derided the idea of life-extending elixirs, but the door has now been opened to drugs that exploit an ancient biological survival mechanism, that of switching the body's resources from fertility to tissue maintenance.

A promising recent study is based on dosing mice with resveratrol, an ingredient of red wines. "Some scientists are already taking resveratrol in capsule form, but others believe it is far too early to take the drug, especially using wine as its source, until there is better data on its safety and effectiveness."

In my own research on the subject, conducted over the last 30+ years, I would have to concur that red wine's salubrious effects on the homo sapien have been largely underestimated, if not outright ignored.

---o0o---

John Prine video: Jesus, the missing years

As you probably know, no one really knows what happened to Jesus from the time he was 12 to around 30. The Bible records his birth and follows His life up to about 12years old. But from around the time he would have had his bar mitzvah to age 30 is a blank. The Gospels that say at the age of 12, Jesus was at the Temple, and the people marveled to hear Him. So he was already preaching. . .and then Pffffft! One of my favorite singer-songwriters, John Prine, took some guesses. Here they are (see the lyrics). This is a later recording, in the last few years. I first saw John play at Western Washington University in 1974, and he was awesome (see Shows I have seen 1966-2006).






Jesus, the missing years

by John Prine

(spoken)
Jesus.... the missing years

It was raining. it was cold
West bethlehem was no place for a twelve year old
So he packed his bags and he headed out
To find out what the worlds about
He went to france. he went to spain
He found love. he found pain.
He found stores so he started to shop
But he had no money so he got in trouble with a cop
Kids in trouble with the cops
From israel didnt have no home
So he cut his hair and moved to rome
It was there he met his irish bride
And they rented a flat on the lower east side of rome...
Italy that is
Music publishers, book binders, Bible belters, money changers,
Spoon benders and lots of pretty italian chicks.

Chorus:
Charley bought some popcorn
Billy bought a car
Someone almost bought the farm
But they didnt go that far
Things shut down at midnight
At least around here they do
Cause we all reside down the block
Inside at ....23 skidoo.

Wine was flowing so were beers
So jesus found his missing years
So he went to a dance and said this dont move me
He hiked up his pants and he went to a movie
On his thirteenth birthday he saw rebel without a cause
He went straight on home and invented santa claus
Who gave him a gift and he responded in kind
He gave the gift of love and went out of his mind
You see him and the wife wasnt getting along
So he took out his guitar and he wrote a song
Called the dove of love fell off the perch
But he couldnt get divorced in the catholic church
At least not back then anyhow
Jesus was a good guy he didnt need this shit
So he took a pill with a bag of peanuts and
A coca-cola and he swallowed it.
He discovered the beatles
And he recorded with the stones
Once he even opened up a three-way package
In southern california for old george jones

Repeat chorus:

The years went by like sweet little days
With babies crying pork chops and beaujolais
When he woke up he was seventeen
The world was angry. the world was mean.
Why the man down the street and the kid on the stoop
All agreed that life stank. all the world smelled like poop
Baby poop that is ..the worst kind
So he grew his hair long and thew away his comb
And headed back to jerusalem to find mom, dad and home
But when he got there the cupboard was bare
Except for an old black man with a fishing rod
He said whatcha gonna be when you grow up?
Jesus said god
Oh my god, what have I gotten myself into?
Im a human corkscrew and all my wine is blood
Theyre gonna kill me mama. they dont like me bud.
So jesus went to heaven and he went there awful quick
All them people killed him and he wasnt even sick
So come and gather around me my contemporary peers
And Ill tell you all the story of
Jesus...the missing years

Repeat chorus:

We all reside down the block
Inside at ....23 skidoo.
---o0o---