Sometimes it feels like #OccupyWallStreet is moving onto Main Street (I just saw a great banner on Ballard's Market Street)

By Jack Brummet, OWS Editor

I'm starting to see more and more signs that some of the messages and aims of Occupy Wall Street are sinking in.  Sarah Palin makes speeches that include some of the foundation planks of OWS; Republicans in the debates admit--somewhat begrudgingly--that, well, yeah, maybe things are not as equitable as they should be.  I've seen the mainstream press slowly begin to acknowledge that whatever's happening in the hundreds of OWS encampments across the country (and in over 100 other countries) may be real, and may just change the 2012 elections.  Even Fox News at times acknowledges "there's something happening here; what it is ain't exactly clear..."

Today, as I was walking along Market Street in Seattle's Ballard neighborhood, I stumbled on this banner, hung below a sign for the Nordic Heritage Museum's annual YuleFest (Nordic cuisine, crafts and gifts, Santa, entertainment, brats and beer).  It's a nice juxtaposition, whoever did it--crafts and gifts and Santa and then thunk! "GIVE BACK THE BONUSES."

click to enlarge

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Weekender Edition: seven years ago on ATIT. "The Captain's Pants"

This is a post from the very first week of ATIT, seven years ago.

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, a captain and his crew were in danger of being boarded by a pirate ship. As the crew became frantic, the captain bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!"

The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt, which the captain put on and led the crew to battle the pirate boarding party. Although some casualties occurred among the crew, the pirates were repelled.

Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending boarding parties. The crew cowered in fear, but the captain, calm as ever bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on, however, the Captain and his crew repelled both boarding parties, although this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's occurrences when an ensign looked to the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, exhorted, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the wound and thus, you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence marvelling at the courage of such a man.

As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my brown pants!"

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Faces No. 252 - office birthday party

drawing by jack brummet

click to enlarge

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Faces No. 251 - the condo association

Drawing  by Jack Brummet

click to enlarge

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Rick Perry's Presidential quest ends in 53 mortifying seconds

By Pablo Fanque, National Affairs Editor
illustration by Jack Brummet

Rick Perry will drop out of the race in the next ten days.  Even if nothing else goes wrong, his campaign funds will surely dry up beginning a couple hours ago. 

This has to be the most pathetic and humiliating debate appearance I have ever seen, except, possibly, Admiral James Stockdale's performance in his 1992 debate with Al Gore and Dan Quayle.  Stockdale opened the debate by saying, "Who am I? Why am I here?"  His opening drew great mirth and laughter, because the audience seemed to think he was joshing about his obscurity and lack of traditional qualifications for the office.  But as he bumbled through the debate, it became clear he was in way over his head.

Tonight, Governor Rick Perry confirmed what most of us knew and the rest suspected--that, he too, is in way over his head,  For one horrible minute, Perry could not recall the name of a government department he is planning to kill off.  I cringed, and actually felt terribly sorry for him as he tried to grin and chuckle his way through it.  But he couldn't.

"It's three agencies of government when I get there that are gone: commerce, education, and the uh ... what's the third one, there? Let's see." He then said, "The third one. I can't." And he performed an auto-coup-de-grace by then saying "Oops."  Fifteen long, long minutes later he said "By the way that was the department of energy I was reaching for a while ago." 

Herman Cain, who everyone suspected would be "on the barbie" tonight, got off the hook after Perry's pitiful showing. 

Perry knew the damage was incalculable.  He even showed up in the spin-room post-debate (which is normally handled by staffers) and said   "I'm sure glad I had my boots on because I sure stepped in it out there."

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Faces No. 243 - Sixteen

Drawing by Jack Brummet

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Arrivederci, Silvio Berlusconi!

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Pants on Fire! William Saletan's article in Slate this morning "Herman Cain’s press conference about his sexual harassment accusers is a road map to his destruction."

By Mona Goldwater, Women in the Workplace Editor

This is an excerpt from William Saletan's article in Slate this morning "Herman Cain’s press conference about his sexual harassment accusers is a road map to his destruction."

"You can lie about what you believe. You can lie about what you’d do if elected. You can deny that your tax reform plan would raise taxes. You can get away with all of these things because they’re matters of speculation, interpretation, or argument. But if you make specific factual claims about the past, as Cain did in his Tuesday press conference about sexual harassment allegations, you can be flatly disproved. Worse, you can goad your accusers into backing up their charges with evidence. That’s what Cain has done. His press conference is a road map to his destruction."

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5ives.com

By Jack Brummet, Blog and website editor


I really miss Merlin's 5ives.com, which has gone dormant again. This was/is one of the funniest sites that ever existed on the web. Check it out and dig back through the archives.

Five cutting-edge greeting cards

1.Mazel Tov on That Reversed Vasectomy!
2.Third Divorce is a Charm, Mom!
3.Your New Boobs Look Large and Super-Hard!
4.Condolences on Your Poorly-Thought-Out Home-Based Business!
5.I’m Minding Your Halitosis Less!

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Five menu items at Silver Spoon Thai that could also be the name of an unsuccessful sex worker

1.Jasmine Rice
2.Ginger Snapper
3.Rainbow Salad
4.Volcano Prawns
5.Pumpkin Curry

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Five terrible fake Jane Austen novels

1.Rash and Rationality
2.Punk and Punctuality
3.Beast and Bestiality
4.Funk and Functionality
5.Fried and Credulous

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Five ways Angelina Jolie can quickly acquire more children

1. gestate auxiliary sets of twins in climate-controlled Fendi bags
2. make Brad build a big-ass gingerbread house
3. explore viability of controversial “dorsal carriage” (a/k/a “butt fetus”)
4. surreptitiously cruise Gymboree with mallet and a sack
5. lay excess eggs in what’s left of Sean Young
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Five ways you’re unleashing the power of your blog

1.tearing the veil away from the morally bankrupt raincheck policy at Marshall’s
2.“crowdsourcing” the naming of your new unicycle
3.taking a symbolic day off from blogging to protest the unjust treatment of “some Oriental dude” you read about on Slashdot
4.daring to name names in the “personal holocaust of customer service” you recently suffered at Fry’s
5.funny new snapshot of your kitty, “Warrant Officer Ripley,” acting like she’s people

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A Donald Rumsfeld poem: A broken bone (from an interview he did five years ago)

By Jack Brummet, Poetry Editor

A Broken Bone [1]
By Donald Rumsfeld
[1] This poem is extracted from interviews with Bob Woodward in July, 2006.


Click on Rummy and President Ford to enlarge

If you don't set it,
Everything grows around the break
And you end up with that abnormality.

I used the phrase it's like teaching
A youngster how to ride a bicycle.
You run behind them with your hand in the seat.

At some point you've got to take some fingers off,
And then you've got to let go,
And they might fall.

You help pick them up and put them back on it.
But if you don't take your hand off,
You end up with a 40-year-old who can't ride a bike.

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Narwhals!

By Jack Brummet, photograph editor

We can't tell where this image originated; TinEye.com turned up 75 instances of the photo, but none of them seem to be the original.  If it's yours, let us know and we'll credit you or remove it! 

click to enlarge

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Herman Cain tries to explain it's not such a big thing

By Mona Goldwater

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