Thursday, August 17, 2006

Alien Lore No. 86 - Humans can be tasty!



Humans have proven themselves adaptive to sudden change, and quite tasty as well. Our little blue ball has become something of a cosmic Colonel Sanders for wayfaring aliens.

Our crunchy goodness is one reason why there's been a huge UFO cover up, or so the lore goes. Aliens with a taste for man flesh (not unlike Orcs) are enroute to earth in a spaceship that looks like an asteroid (click here to read All This Is That on this spaceship, sometimes referred to as the tenth planet). Fortunately, we first heard from various Greys who had flown to earth to warn us about the invasion (ala Klaatu in The Day The Earth Stood Still. The greys also furnished the D.O.D. with incredible technology. The catch: the government agreed to let the greys occasionally harvest some people. The greys, were genetically bankrupt, and needed to create hybrids to survive. They need our DNA.

Your average citizen isn't going to stand for government-approved kidnappings. The blowback from other plots shows we average imbeciles don't really understand the lengths our government must go to protect national security. We haven't risen in some mighty Revolt of the Knuckleheads. But we could.

The aliens left a hostage with the United States as a pledge of fulfillment of their part of the agreement. That hostage Grey was named Krill. He wrote The Krill Papers.

I quote from The Krill Papers:


"How the actual contact between the government and aliens was initially made is not known, but the government was made aware that it could be done by a civilian using the right equipment. Dr. Paul Bennewitz, civilian scientist, did so using computer equipment and informed the government he had done so, not realizing that by then, in 1983, that the government was in truth as deep into dealing with the aliens as his communications with them revealed. Dr. Bennewitz lives next to Manzano Weapons Storage Area in Albuquerque, New Mexico. He observed UFOs constantly over the area and initially decided that they were a threat to the installation. He proceeded to figure out a coding system and attempted and was successful in communicating with the aliens that were flying over that area. What he found out is that after initial contacts with the aliens years ago, we agreed to to provide them with bases underground in the United States in return for certain technological secrets which the aliens would reveal to us. The aliens would also be allowed to carry out certain operations, abductions, and mutilations without intervention.


"We knew that the Greys were instrumental in performing the mutilations of animals (and some humans) and that they were using the glanular substances derived from these materials for food (absorbed through the skin) and to clone more Greys in their underground laboratories. The government was also aware that the Greys performed some of the abductions to secure genetic materials. The government insisted that the Greys provide them with a list that would be presented to the National Security Council.

"The government thought that the Greys were basically tolerable creatures, although a bit distasteful. They presumed at the time that it was not unreasonable to assume that the public would and could get used to their presence. Between 1968 and 1969 a plan was formulated to make the public aware of their existence over the succeeding twenty years. This time period would culminate with a series of documentaries that would explain the history and intentions of the Greys. The Greys assured us that the real purpose of the abductions was for monitoring of our civilization, and when we learned that the abductions were a lot more frequent and insidious than we were led to believe, the government became concerned.

"By the time we had found out the truth about the intentions of the Greys (they intend to stay here and stay in control of our world) it was too late. We had already "sold out" humanity. Not that it would have made any difference, because they were here doing what they were doing anyway.


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Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Poem: Don't look back



Don't look back
Means no regrets

Look back on the good times
But leave the rest



Just ask Lot's wife
And the other pillars of salt



Standing outside Gomorrah
Like Easter Island statues
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Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Veep Dick Cheney threatens to resign (again)


The President and Vice-President following their Monday afternoon
meeting. Click to enlarge.

Between meetings at the White House with the Defense Department and a bill signing ceremony for H.R. 5683, the President and Vice President met briefly yesterday afternoon. The Vice-President was tense, according to a source within the White House, who leaked a transcript of their conversation to All This Is That.

The Vice President had recently been pressing for a meeting. Cheney was fuming by the time they had their sitdown.

"I am sick and tired of being hidden in the closet," Cheney opened.

"Dick. Dick. You gotta understand. I don't even have to say this. . .you know the kind of heat we're under," replied The President.

"Then turn me loose. I can help this you know."

"Damnit! You've seen your f***ing negatives! The best way you can help us now is to work behind the scenes."


"With all due respect, Mr. President, I've had it right up to here with behind the scenes. After all I've done for this country, after all I've done for you, to be stifled like this is wrong. Do you think we'd be where we are today if I just sat on my hands the last six years?"

"Dick Dick Dick. I give you plenty of latitude. But you forget who the President is. "

"Now that's not true at all Mr. President. "

"There's a reason you never ran for President. They just don't like you. They may not like me so much right now, but they'll come around. But the last thing we need is for you to take the cork out. For Christ Sake! We have the elections coming up in less than three months. Do you really think turning you loose is going to help us there? We lose this election as bad as some people seem to think, lame duck doesn't even begin to describe what the scene around here will be. This Presidency will be castrated. And where is that going to get either of us? We need to start thinking about our legacy."

"So my options, Mr. President, are stay in the closet or walk away?"

"And now, you're going to start the resignation s**t again?!"

"If that's what it takes, yes. I'm not going to spend the next two years sitting around here like a potted plant."

"Then resign. But you won't. This is your last whirl on the carousel. If you walk away, you'll be remembered as the guy who walked away. Is that what you've worked for? Yeah, we've back-burnered you! So what!? What choice do I have? I've had it with all this bullcrap about you being the shadow President. It's time people know who's running the show. And it's not like we're out of the woods on this whole f***ing Scooter Libby mess either! When's the other shoe gonna drop on that one?"

"You're dead wrong, George, if you think I'm worried about my "legacy." Who are you f***ing kidding? You know how many VPs make the history books? Christ! Humphrey, Rockefeller, Garner, Mondale, Wallace, Barkley! Who knows these guys were Vice President? I'll bet you don't even f***ing know who Barkley was! Or how about Charles Dawes! Gimme a f***ing break. This legacy doesn't mean s**t! Damnit! Garner s
aid the Vice Presidency wasn't worth a pitcher of warm spit. He wasn't wrong, by the way. I have half a mind to throw in the towel tomorrow. Who needs this crap? Read your history. . .the only Vice Presidents we remember are those whose Presidents were plugged or resigned!"

"You do what you gotta do. I'll put someone in and give them a leg up in in the election."


The transcript breaks off at this point when their meeting was interrupted for a previously scheduled briefing with Secretary Rumsfeld and the Defense Policy and Programs Team.

"Let's just say it was another Mexican standoff," the White House aide told All This Is That. "Cheney threatens to quit every few months. What was strikingly different this time, is that The President said 'go ahead.' It wasn't long ago that Cheney's threats would send the President into crippling panic attacks. Those days are over. "
---o0o---

*All This Is That* Poster

Click Poster To Enlarge
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Monday, August 14, 2006

Identikit Fun - A composite drawing of Hitler



Click one of the Hitlers to enlarge


A few years ago, for a research project, I purchased a copy of Faces 3.0 (by Interquest), a program mainly used by law enforcement. Unfortunately, they no longer sell the program to the general public. I suspect, of course, you could probably snag a copy on Ebay or somewhere a little more shady. . .

Every once in a while I break it out and noodle with it. I admit, I'm not so good at it. Believe it or not, even with 100 sets of eyes, and the ability to size them and move them apart, closer, up, or down, it's hard to get it right. The program has around 4,000 unique facial features. I can look at my drawing of Hitler and see dozens of things wrong. The eyes aren't right, the eyebrows are as close as I could get, I couldn't get his head square enough, and the moustache is too neat. I could go in and Photoshop [tm] the drawing and fix a lot of this. Aging is difficult as well--it never seems like the folds and wrinkles and blemishes work the way I want. But it's a fun problem to have.

They include a fun game with the software where they flash a suspect's face for a couple of seconds and then you work to recreate the face in Faces 3.0. I'll do a few more over the next while...and put them on All This Is That...
---o0o---

Monkeying Around With Fido

A Youtube link to a simian prankster. You have to admit, our cousin seems to be doing this for the prank value alone. Curious George lives! Watch the video here.
---o0o---

Sunday, August 13, 2006

A few of the lies I heard and told this week

We found the bad bugs.
I'll send the money tomorrow.
I'm fine.
I won't do that again.
I'm from Verizon and I'm calling to help you. . .
I'll do it tomorrow.
True story; a friend of my friend was there.
Now we're even.
The software will ship on time.
You look great.
We're calling because we know you are as angry as we are about. . .
For your convenience. . .
In order to serve you better. . .
New and Improved!
You're right Jack.
Trust me.
I'll never get that drunk again.
That was special.
---o0o---

Saturday, August 12, 2006

Airline passenger restrictions, hip replacements, and why the Executive Branch goes unmolested, while I am scanned, probed, poked and patted down



Cory Doctorow wrote the following in a post on BoingBoing today:



"It seems to me like our glorious leaders are pretty good at setting out the "minor inconveniences" that the rest of us have to put up with, but when was the last time you heard of any of them enduring the same measures?

Now, GW Bush may say, "But I'm no terrorist! Why shouldn't I be able to bring my hip-flask onto Air Force One with me?" But I'm no terrorist either. I don't see why the man should be exempt from his own rules. If it's sauce for the goose, it's sauce for the butcher. "




Since I have had arthoplasty surgery and own an artificial hip, I get to experience a close-up and personal shakedown every single time I ride an airplane (and twice, or more, if it is not a non-stop flight). Anyone who knows me could tell you I am the least likely candidate in the world to take down an airplane, due to a nearly maniacal fear of flying. And I do have to resent--just a little--the fact that people I consider deranged like The Vice-President, and Secretary of Defense, get to walk right onto their 'planes entirely unmolested.

I will admit that everyone who has examined me has been both professional and friendly, and even appreciative that I am sanguine about the whole operation. It's hard to get mad at them. . .they're earning $16 an hour the hard way. I have never met one of these guys who wasn't extremely nice. I watch other people become angry over the invasion, but it's really not worth the oxygen. As usual, the big problems lie further up the food chain. I don't mind the searches, but as this week's events in England show, this may not be making us as safe as we once thought.

And now, we take it to the next level. No more liquids or iPods or computers or phones in the passenger cabin.
---o0o---

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Senator Hillary Clinton's Breasts Unveiled


Click The Senator's breast(s) to enlarge the photograph

The sculptor, Daniel Edwards — who recently brought us a life-size statue of Britney Spears giving birth on a bearskin rug with the young 'uns head crowning in the posterior view (see photo below) — has created a buxom sculpture of Sen. Hillary Clinton's head, and bust. The armless (ala Venus DeMilo) but big-bosomed Senator rests on a plinth that reads: “Presidential Bust of Hillary Clinton.” There is a strange documentary short on YouTube of Daniels, and his new scuplture. He seems like a genuinely kooky, and nice, guy.

The sculpture will be rolled out next week at the NYC Museum of Sex, according to the New York Daily News.


The Britney Spears Sculpture (side view)
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Son of Sam was arrested 29 years ago today -- "What took you so long?"


Click David Berkowitz to enlarge

On August 10, 1977, an utterly deranged 24-year-old postal employee (note: he was also one of the first postal employees to go "postal"), David Berkowitz was arrested and charged with being the "44 caliber killer" a/k/a "Son of Sam." Son of Sam was a serial killer who terrorized New York City for more than a year, killing six young people and wounding seven others with a .44-caliber revolver, all allegedly on the orders of a barking dog next door that Berkowitz claimed was channeling a neighbor named Sam. Berkowitz targeted attractive young women with long brown hair, and therefore, "hundreds of young women had their hair cut short and dyed blond during the time he terrorized the city. " At least according to one article I read. I don't remember anyone doing this, but I remember people on the news talking about it.


The police sketch and a photograph

The Son of Sam name came from his first letter, left in one of the victim's cars. It was addressed to police captain Joe Borelli, who headed up Task Force Omega, a group of a large number of detectives searching for the "44 caliber killer." The letter said:

"I am deeply hurt by your calling me a weman-hater. I am not. But I am a monster. I am the "son of Sam". I am a little brat. When father Sam gets drunk he gets mean. He beats our family. Sometimes he ties me up to the back of the house. Other times he locks me in the garage. Sam loves to drink blood. "Go out and kills" commands father Sam. Behind our house some rest. Mostly young - raped and slaughtered - their blood drained - just bones now. Pap Sam keeps me locked in the attic too. I can't get out but I look out the attick window and watch the world go by. I feel like an outsider. I am on a different wavelength then everybody else - programmed to kill. However, to stop me you must kill me. Attention all police: shoot me first - shoot to kill or else keep out of my way or you will die. Papa Sam is old now. He needs some blood to preserve his youth. He has too many heart attacks. "Ugh, me hoot, it hurts, sonny boy." I miss my pretty princess most of all. She's resting in our ladies house. But i'll see her soon. I am the "monster" - "Beelzebub" - the chubby behemouth. I love to hunt. Prowlling the streets looking for fair game - tasty meat. The wemon of Queens are prettyist of all. I must be the water they drink. I live for the hunt - my life. Blood for papa. Mr. Borelli, sir, I don't want to kill any more. No sur, no more but I must, "honour thy father". I want to make love to the world. I love people. I don't belong on earth. Return me to yahoos. To the people of Queens, I love you. And i want to wish all of you a happy Easter. May God bless you in this life and in the next. And for now I say goodbye and goodnight. Police: Let me haunt you with these words: I'll be back. I'll be back. To be interrpreted as - bang, bang, bang, bang - ugh. Yours in murder, Mr. Monster. "

I remember the New York Post and Daily News almost taunting him with their headlines as the anniversary of the first killings approached (the anniversary was June 29, 1977). I arrived in town in early June. He struck on June 26, but Sal Lupo and Judy Placido both survived, relatively unscathed. On July 30, he killed Stacy Moskowitz, and blinded Robert Violante.

He wrote a letter to Jimmy Breslin, the great NYC columnist (and author of the delightful novel The Gang That Couldn't Shoot Straight):

"Hello from the gutters of N.Y.C. which are filled with dog manure, vomit, stale wine, urine and blood. Hello from the sewers of N.Y.C. which swallow up these delicacies when they are washed away by the sweeper trucks. Hello from the cracks in the sidewalks of N.Y.C. and from the ants that dwell in these cracks and feed in the dried blood of the dead that has settled into the cracks..."

The writer noted that he was a fan of Breslin: "J.B., I also want to tell you that I read your column daily and find it quite informative."

The writer added, "What will you have for July 29?" (the anniversary of the first .44 Caliber shooting).

I had been in the city for a few months when he was arrested, a month after the famous blackout and riots. I happened to also be in love with an attractive young woman with long brown hair. We never "necked" in parked cars, so we were relatively safe. However, we did live and hang out in Brooklyn, one of his targets. And when he was caught, he was taken to the Brooklyn House of Detention--right across the street from our apartment!

Court TV's Crime Library has a long article about Berkowitz/Sam, and, the Wikipedia has a good article as well. . .
---o0o---

painting: Variations on Jack Brummet's head


click to enlarge
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