Correction/not a retraction: The G20 video was real, but we did a poor job of contextualizing it.

By Jack Brummet and Pablo Fanque

A quick clarification on the story we ran yesterday on President Bush's reception at the G20 Summit, "Is President Bush Suffering From Leprosy?" We were troubled about this story from the get-go. Yes, the video was real. But even as we wrote and posted the story, we knew something wasn't quite right.

Let's face it, these people would shake hands with Papa Doc, Idi Amin, Sirhan Sirhan, Stalin, Carlos the Jackal, Herman Goering, or just about anyone in a position of power if it suited their purposes. Why would they shun W?

Daryle Conners confirmed reading about it later, and I independently realized late Friday night that we were probably seeing a clip of a "photo opportunity." President Bush, Merkel and the other leaders didn't shake hands because they all shalen hands a couple minutes previously. The handshakers were those not at the earlier photo-op. I'm not even going to look it up, because it is absolutely clear this is what happened! We got sucked into the blog/web hysteria on this one like everyone else. We should have known immediately what the context actually was. But it did give the Bush haters a chance to vent one more time (their time is running very short). You should have read the comments section on the HuffPo post on this!

Once in a while a story is just so tantalizing, you run with it (as we did in the summer over the Palin baby rumors that whipped around the internet like a tornado). And why not? After all, we're not some respectable blog with paying customers and advertisers.

When we print something scandalous, we want it to be completely true, or fictional from the ground up. Speaking of which. . .how was The President taken into custody last night when he was supposed to be at G20?
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Senator "Crazy" Joe Lieberman lives to see another day

Barack Obama wisely led his party to save Senator "Crazy" Joe Lieberman from complete ignominy earlier this week. As much as I dislike the sawed-off, ferrett-faced turncoat, keeping the independent Senator in the fold once again points out Obama's incredibly wise and pragmatic approach to governing. My inclination, like many, was to punish Lieb for his transgressions. But Obama sent out word and spoke kindly of Joe, and, in the end, he survived. . .and kept his Homeland Security chairmanship.

Lierberman embraced George Bush on Iraq, and supported McCain in many appearances and interviews. Most of us could forgive all that. What is much harder to swallow is his speech at the Republican Convention--a point-blank assault on Obama, and the rest of us. In the end, though, Lieberman is a true Democrat. He split with us on the war issue, but on virtually every other issue, he relentlessly votes the party line.

Majority Leaer Harry Reid said “Joe Lieberman votes with me a lot more than a lot of my senators. He didn’t support us on military stuff, and he didn’t support us on Iraq stuff. But you look at his record, it’s pretty good.” The Majority whip, Richard Durbin, also had nice things to say about Crazy Joe. So we do have him to kick around for a while longer. Like many of Barack Obama's other one-time enemies, I suspect he'll hop on the bandwagon and become a real team player. Who knows? He might even join the Democrats again.

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Poem: Narcissus [revision]

Ed note: We can't find out who created this cartoon.
If it was you, let us know! We like.


Narcissus

"They all sound the same," shouts someone in the audience. "It's all one song," replied Neil Young.

It's all about me;
Who do we spoof
When we pretend otherwise?

It's all one story,
It's all one poem,
It's all one song,

It's all one job,
It's all one painting,
It's all one game,

It's all one life,
It's all one wife,
Like it or not.
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Barack Obama: "Off to a good start" says Republican leader

By Pablo Fanque, All This Is That National Affairs Editor

On Friday, the head Republican said that Democratic U.S. President-elect Barack Obama is "off to a good start" and admitted he was glad to see President George W. Bush on his way out the door.

"Our members, in one way, are kind of relieved by the departure of an administration that became unpopular and made it very difficult for us to compete," Senate Republican leader Mitch McConnell told reporters on Capitol Hill.

In large measure because of Bush's extreme unpopularity, Barack Obama won the White House in the November 4th election, as Democrats increased their majorities in both houses of the U.S. Congress. Two weeks later, their wins continue, as Senator Ted Stevens conceded the Senate seat he has owned for 40-some years.

Two more races remain undecided: the Georgia runoff election for Saxby Chambliss' seat. At this moment in the polls, Saxby has a four point lead over Democrat Jim Martin. And then there is the Minnesota race, where Norm Coleman is hanging on to a razor-thin lead over Al Franken. With 64 percent of the 2.9 million ballots recounted, Coleman is ahead by 120 votes. Anything can happen here. If by chance, both Chambliss and Norman Coleman were to fall, the Democrats would achieve their long-dreamed-for veto-proof supermajority. In a season of surprises, you just never know.

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Did President Bush spend the night at the laughing academy?

By Pablo Fanque,
All This Is That National Affairs Editor


President George W. Bush was escorted from the East Lawn of the White House late Friday night and taken away in a Secret Service S.U.V. After seeing video clips on YouTube of his performance at the G20 Summit, and later, seeing a staff member reading Pablo Fanque's Friday article on All This Is That, the President reportedly became agitated.

An hour later, near midnight Washington time, George Bush was heard, and then found, outside the White House with a 12 gauge shotgun in one hand and a bottle of Wild Turkey bourbon in the other. He was alternately mumbling and howling when security guards approached him, disarmed him, and drove him to an undisclosed location (reportedly the rubber room at the laughing academy--possibly St. Elizabeth's).
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Is President Bush suffering from leprosy?

By Pablo Fanque,
All This Is That National Affairs Editor

Thanks to Daryle Conners for this tip.

In this amazing YouTube video, soon to be Ex-President Bush is snubbed by fellow world leaders at the G20 Summit. It's not like he is actively being shunned; he appears to be literally invisible, except to the camera. It's just a little sad that this guy, who used to Run The Show, has fallen so slow. It's come to this.

Rick Sanchez says that Bush looks like "the most unpopular kid in high school that nobody liked."

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Obama set to name Senator Hillary Clinton head of State Department

By Pablo Fanque,
All This Is That National Affairs Editor
on hiatus in Bucerias, Nayarit, Mexico

Paintings/sign by Jack Brummet

This could get very interesting. It already is. Both Obama and The Clintons each have three negotiators haggling over the Secretary of State cabinet position. How many other top slots in the history of America have ever involved six negotiators? I can tell you authoritatively. None. Ever.

Is this a harbinger of factionalism in the nascent Obama Administration? Bill Clinton has said he would do "whatever it takes" to open the way for Hillary to get the State Department nod. Whatever it takes includes forgoing many lucrative (to the tune of millions a year) speeches, disclosing major donors to the William J. Clinton Foundation, naming and forgoing many consulting clients, and in general, clearing most of his activities with the Administration. That is a heavy load for a guy that has done it his way for the last 16 years or so. It is interesting enough that he is being let out of the doghouse after his angry and often race-baiting performances on Hillary's road to the White House.



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Future President Barack Obama is on track to nominate The Senator as secretary of state after Thanksgiving an aide to his transition disclosed Thursday.

It is utterly fascinating the way this has played out in the press, with leaks, and positioning on both sides. No Drama Obama is wrapped up in this fascinating minuet under the full glare of the press [1] and bloggers. She is a fascinating choice for SoS.

Once again, Obama has buried whatever malignant feelings he might have ever held toward her. He is an amazing pragmatist and practicioner of the forgive and forget school of politics.



Sure, many people believe he wants her on the inside, because as President Lyndon Johnson often said, "it's better to have them inside the tent pissing out than outside pissing in." While many Democrats and beltway insiders openly question whether Clinton is too independent and ambitious to be the effective Secretary of State we desperately need, it is clear that Obama values her intelligence, diligence, experience, and yes, even chutzpah and moxie.

Large numbers of other Democrats believe in her too. Recent polls indicate that Hillary Clinton would have beaten John McCain by greater margins than Obama. Of course, that doesn't take into account the fact that her political organization collapsed in the face of Obama's clearly superior one. Would they have been able to put aside their infighting long enough to beat McCain? We will never know.

Clinton's nomination appears to be nearly a fait accompli. It will be fascinating to see whether she can live with the high degree of discipline Obama requires from his underlings. And that also applies to the 300 pound gorilla, Bill Clinton, who will need to spend a lot of the next few years sitting on his hands.

[1] Maybe not the full glare, with all the layoffs and downsizing of news organizations, including the latest one today: AP is cutting 10% of its workforce. Nearly every other major news organization has recently announced broad and deep cuts. "I guess this internet thing may actually really take off, after all."
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Bacon Porn!: hot bacon images

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One grape short: Adolph Hitler was missing a testicle

An account by a German army medic has confirmed what the world long suspected: Hitler only had one ball. War veteran Johan Jambor made the revelation to a priest in the 1960s, who wrote it down, according to The Sun. The priest's written account has surfaced 23 years after Jambor's death.

This seems to confirm an alleged Soviet autopsy on Hitler's remains made shortly after the war claimed Hitler was lopsided. Most historians dismiss this reference as commie propaganda.

Records DO show Hitler was wounded in the groin in 1916 during the Battle of the Somme.

The Fuhrer's ball has been mocked for years in a British song:

Hitler has only got one ball,
The other is on the kitchen wall,
His mother, the dirty bugger,
Chopped it off when he was small.

She threw it over Germany,
It landed in the deep blue sea,
The fishes got out their dishes,
And had scallops and bollocks for tea.

Frankfurt has only one beer hall,
Stuttgart, die München all on call,
Munich, vee lift our tunich,
To show vee "Cherman" have no balls at all.

Until now there has never been proof Hitler was asymmetrical Down There. The priest wrote that Jambor saw the proof with his own eyes. Johan Jambor's friend Blassius Hanczuch confirmed that the medic had saved Hitler’s life in 1916.

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Sir Paul McCartney hints at one last unreleased Beatle's song

An almost unheard, experimental track by The Beatles may finally be released 41 years after it was recorded at Abbey Road studios, said Sir Paul recently.

McCartney, told BBC Radio that "Carnival of Light" was The Beatles at their most free, "going off piste." [Editor's note: I didn't know the phrase off piste but dictionaries and the Wikipedia say it is "skiing in a sparsely inhabited rural region over ungroomed and unmarked slopes or pistes. More importantly, the land and the snow pack are not monitored, patrolled, or maintained. Fixed mechanical means of ascent such as ski lifts are typically not present. Backcountry skiing can be highly dangerous due to the avalanche risk..." ]

If this "tune" is anything like Sir Paul describes it, it will be a rock and roll treasure. Think Revolution No. 9 (a "song" I've always loved, and was stunned when I heard it in in 1968) to the Nth degree.

It sounds tantalizing. Maybe Revolution No. 9 in overdrive, "I said it would be great to put this on because it would show we were working with really avant-garde stuff," McCartney told Radio 4. 's According to the BBC, McCartney had wanted to include the track on The Beatles' Anthology compilations in the mid-1990s, but the rest of the band vetoed the idea. The rest of the band now includes Ringo and George Harrison and John Lennon's lawyers. Good luck with that, Macca!
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Face fun with Pizap

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piZap.com is an image editing site with a really clean U.I. (although neophytes might not get that to discard a change you merely need to drag it offscreen). This transformation took couple of minutes. They did a great job of blending most of the parts...
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Slap my ass and call me Sally!

I bumped into the hilarious phrase "Slap my ass and call me Sally!" the other day. Naturally, I wondered where it originated. . .

The first place I found was the Hot Sauce World web site, where they sell a hot sauce called "Smack My Ass And Call Me Sally...The Slap Heard around the World. One of the top twenty hottest sauces in the world. Don't forget to scratch the hand print on Chet's ass when you get the hot sauce bottle. 5 oz. $7.89."

A similar phrase was used by Australian and US soldiers during World War II: "Cut off my legs and call me Shorty!" Louis Armstrong recorded a song by this title in 1940 that was frequently played on US Armed Forces radio stations.

Google lists 75 hits for a similar phrase: "tie me up and call me Shirley."

"Slap me silly and call me Sally" also appears to be a 2 Live Crew tune. Here is it is in a fan video from YouTube:





The top ten virals web site has this photo, which makes me think someone actually manufactured clothing/undies with the phrase.

There's a band, with a site on MySpace named Slap My Ass And Call Me Sally.

I never did run into any serious analysis of the phrase or its origins on any language analysis, folklore, or slang sites like slangsite.com, or the Urban Dictionary. . .

It is used on hundreds of web sites as an expression, but I couldn't find any real detail. I gave up searching, but figured our readers might be interested in my meager findings in any case. It's not definitive, but, then, what really is?
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