All This Is That finds nude TSA scans of George Clooney, Angelina Jolie, Michele Bachmann, Glee's Dianna Agron, and Jessica Alba, on the internet

By Pablo Fanque, National Affairs Editor 
and Mona Goldwater, Gen X Desk

To no one's real surprise, an underground market for body scan images taken by the TSA has popped up.  In fact, the All This Is That editors were able to purchase explicit, nude "backscatter" images of George Clooney, Angelina Jolie, Presidential Candidate Michele Bachmann, Glee's Dianna Agron and Jessica Alba, among others.  We purchased these images 50 minutes after we began searching--from an underground, but fairly easily found website, with a room labelled "TSA's Hottest And Greatest Hits."   Jack hooked us up with an email  reference and we were in. 

Jack Brummet, our arts, paranormal, and animal husbandry editor, began this story with a sonic boom and then bugged out.  He was off the story (with a bogus excuse about needing to focus on blah blah blah),  handed it off  to us and hooked us up with his contact in TSA management, who--surprise!--denied everything.  You could tell he was lying because he really sucked at it.  Jack's contact (a guy just below the top exec, level of the TSA) told him the TSA had discovered that employees were trading high quality TSA screening scans--digitally enhanced photos of celebrities and of "hot" men and women, often in categories like "grotesque" "hot jailbait" "long dong silvers" "great racks" or "belugas."  Not long before TSA security swept in, the images began appearing online, and finally, for sale online.

The TSA and other government agencies often tout the quality of "Advanced Imaging Technology" like the Gen 2 millimeter wave scanner from Brijot Imaging Systems, Inc., while assuring customers that their operators "cannot store, print, transmit or save the image, and the image."

what you see in a digitally reversed backscatter body scan

Gizmodo busted them on that set of lies, by requesting (under the Freedom Of Information Act) 100 scans from among the 35,000 federal agents had saved on the scanner that "cannot store. . .or save the image."  The images Gizmodo released were less explicit images from the older scanning technology, not the new "backscatter" X-ray technology.  The backscatter images leave nothing to the imagination, which is how the trading and then black market for the celebrity and other images emerged. 

The TSA, natch, posits that the leaked photos on Gizmodo were fakes.  The TSA announced on their blog that the images they look at (but do not save!) look like this (click here to visit the TSA blog):

what the TSA claims you see in a body scan

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Amateur video of The Band's Don't Do It

This is obviously film (it's 1971), but feels like it was shot by an amateur. On the other hand the sound is great, which argues against an amateur. Anyhow, The Band's cover of a great old Motown tune (not so old back then). It's always amazing seeing Levon drumming like crazy as he sings   .On second thought, I bet they sync'd the music from the Rock of Ages live album, which came from those shows. BTW, the great Alan Toussaint arranged the horns for these shows. . .

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Carla Bruni, Hillary Clinton, and Michelle Obama Measure Up

A Note From Mona Goldwater, Women's Editor

Jeff Clinton sent us this interesting image.  Exactly what are French First Lady Carla Bruni, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, and US First Lady Michelle Obama measuring?

click to enlarge

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Tea-Party/GOP Presidential Candidate Michele Bachmann channels President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho

By Mona Goldwater
Tea Party Correspondent

Presidential candidate Michele Bachmann seems to have taken a page from the playbook of Idiocracy's President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho.  Who knows?  It just might work.

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Jack Brummet drawing - Faces No. 193: The Steering Committee

click to enlarge

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Teething on my Grandpa Dell's hook arm, 1954

Yes, I did teethe on my Grandfather Dell Galvin's hook arm. Dell was my maternal Grandmother's third, and final husband.

This was a different world--my Uncle Guy had a wooden leg, and I don't think anyone over about 38 on either side of my family had their original teeth. . .body parts, joints and giblets were not easy to come by for poor folk (nor are they now).

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Painting: Elizabeth Taylor - an original painting of Liz Taylor by Jack Brummet

click to enlarge

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Poem by Jack Brummet: Communication Breakdown

Communication Breakdown

The silver rain
Is drawn like a curtain

Between us
And God.
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Poem by Jack Brummet: Water

Water
by Jack Brummet

Water, in perpetual motion,
Drifts into the troposphere,
Accumulates, and returns to earth
To join ice, rain, and snow
In the hills and mountains,
Rolling into aquifers and underground lakes,
Chasms, fissures, streams,
Valleys, craters, hollows,
Creeks, rivers, lakes, and oceans.
Water, the only thing on earth
That never gets old.
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Norma McDonald and Dennis Miller--amazing videoclip from DM show in 1998

Photograph of Ronald Reagan in a compromising position, from Paul Krassner's The Realist

A photo and perfect caption from Paul Krassner's "The Realist," a great, satiric, scandalous, and hilarious magazine from the 60's and 70's.  [ed's note: Krassner was a hilarious, incisive, paranoid, and savagely satirical writer and prankster. His magazine appeared in the 60's and early 70's, and was later revived sporadically, eventually finally kicking the bucket in 2001]

click to enlarge

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End times edge closer: the Tea Party's Michele Bachmann forms "exploratory committee"

By Pablo Fanque
National Affairs Editor
Illustration by Jack Brummet

Representative Michele Bachmann, is currently spending a week tromping around Iowa, which will hold the first caucuses of the 2012 Presidential race.   Her team just leaked to CNN that said Bachmann will form an exploratory committee in June.  She also named an Iowa state senator-- Kent Sorenson--as her political director in the early caucus state.

She recently told ABC's Jonathan Karl that "I'm in for 2012 in that I want to be a part of the conversation in making sure that President Obama only serves one term, not two, because I want to make sure that we get someone who's going to be making the country work again. That's what I'm in for. But I haven't made a decision yet to announce, obviously, if I'm a candidate or not..."

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