Faces No. 278 - Cousins

By Jack Brummet

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New Public Policy Polling results show Mitt Romney less popular than George W. Bush

By Pablo Fanque, National Affairs Editor

A new survey from Public Policy Polling shows that Ex-Governor Mitt Romney is viewed favorably by 33 percent of voters, with nearly double that number—58%—viewing him unfavorably.  Ex-President George W. Bush, who reached Nixon-style lows while in The White House,  fared far better in the same poll—45% favorable and 46% unfavorable.  As Public Policy Polling wrote, "The former president has seen something of a rehabilitation in his image since he left office and memories of his administration have begun to fade, but for him to be stronger than Romney among independent voters just a few years after an economic meltdown and disaster in Iraq is striking. "



This poll also seems to put the lie to Romney's oft repeated claim of electability and inevitability: "Romney is actually not the most electable Republican candidate on this poll. Ron Paul and Rick Santorum both do a point better than him, trailing by 3 points at 46-43 and 48-45 respectively."

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Drawing: Shades

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Drawing: Waiting in line

By Jack Brummet

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Shaggy Dog Story No. 10: The Checkout Line

The Checkout Line A young man shopping in a supermarket noticed a little old lady following him around. If he stopped, she stopped. Furthermore she kept staring at him. She finally overtook him at the checkout, and she turned to him and said, "I hope I haven't made you feel ill at ease, it's just that you look so much like my late son." He answered, "That's okay." "I know it's silly, but if you'd call out "Good bye, Mom" as I leave the store, it would make me feel so happy." She then went through the checkout. As she was on her way out of the store the man called out, "Goodbye, Mom." The little old lady waved, and smiled back at him. Pleased that he had brought a little sunshine into someone's day, he went to pay for his groceries. "That comes to $121.85," said the clerk. "How come so much? I only bought five 5 items." The clerk replied, "Yeah, but your Mother said you'd be paying for her things too." ---o0o---

Painting: Accidental Death

by Jack Brummet

[18"x24", watercolor, pencil, and Sharpie on a found sheet of paper used as an illustration in a moot court trial.  I added the scribbles and illustration; 100% hand-made]

click to enlarge

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Shaggy dog story No. 9: Moishe and The Pope

Moishe and the Pope: a shaggy dog story

In the Dark Ages, the Pope decreed that all Jews had to leave Rome. The Jews did not want to leave so the Pope challenged them to prove that they could remain. No one wanted the responsibility until Moishe, the synagogue janitor, volunteered.

Since no one else wanted to go Moishe was given the task. Moishe only spoke Hebrew and the Pope did not so it was agreed that there would be a silent debate. When the day of the debate came they went to St. Peter's Square.

The Pope waved his hand around his head. Moishe pointed firmly at the ground.

The Pope held up three fingers. Moishe held up his middle finger.

The crowd started to complain but the Pope thoughtfully waved them to be quiet. He took out a bottle of wine and a wafer and held them up. Moishe took out an apple and held it up.

To the peoples' surprise, the Pope announced, "I concede. This man is too good. The Jews can stay." 

Later that day, the Pope was asked what the debate had meant.

He explained, "First, I showed him the Heavens, to show that God is everywhere. He pointed at the ground to signify that God is right here with us."

He continued, "I showed him three fingers, for the Trinity. He reminded me that there is One God common to both our religions."

The Pope concluded, "I showed him wine and a wafer, for God's forgiveness. With an apple, he showed me original sin. The man was a master of silent debate."

Back at the synagogue, the leaders asked Moishe what happened. He said, "It was all nonsense, really. First, he told me that this whole town would be free of Jews. I told him where he could go and that we were staying right here."

Moishe continued, "Then, he told me we had three days to get out. I told him just what I thought of that proposal."

An older woman asked, "But what about the part at the end?"

"That?" said Moishe with a shrug, "Well, I saw him take out his lunch so I took out mine."

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Shaggy Dog Story No. 8: The conductor

The Conductor


The world's best and most famous conductor makes a small mistake while conducting the New York Symphony Orchestra. The audience doesn't notice, the orchestra didn't notice either, but he knew he'd made the mistake and decided that he should retire. Once the performance had finished, he turned and faced the audience and said "Ladies and Gentleman, this is my last performance as a world class conductor. I'm now announcing my retirement."

After a few minutes silence from the shocked audience, and orchestra too, he was greeted with boos and hisses. He walked from the stage, only to be met by his manager, standing in between two gorilla-sized bodyguards. "Oh no you don't", his manager said, "you're not retiring."


Forced backed to work by his manager, he endured week after week of conducting he no longer wanted to do. While lying in bed one night with his wife of many years he turned to her and said "Dear, would you be able to get me a small hand-gun?" "Yes dear", she said, and he rolled over and went to sleep.


Sure enough, at his next performance, the conductor began with the small hand-gun concealed in the his jacket. Once the concert had finished he turned to the audience and said "I'm announcing my retirement for the second time. This is my last performance."


The tuba player from the orchestra stood up and shouted "You can't be serious!" The conductor whipped out his hand-gun and shot the tuba player dead. It wasn't long before the police arrived and the conductor was taken away.


Days later, the conductor was taken to court. "How do you plead to the charge of first-degree murder?", the judge inquired. "Guilty your honour", the conductor replied. "Do you realize that the sentence for first degree murder in this state is death by electrocution?", the judge added. The conductor thought for a moment but came to the conclusion that death would surely be better than continuing on like he was. "Yes, your honour", the conductor said.


While being strapped into the electric chair, one of the guards came to the conductor and said, "You may have one last request before we terminate your life. What would you like?" After pondering for a few seconds the conductor replied, "A silver platter with a dozen bananas." His request was granted and the conductor hastily ate the bananas. The room was emptied and the switch was flicked. The conductor's hair stood on end but he survived! As one guard was about to the flick the switch again, he was stopped. "He survived the chair and the law says we have to let him go."


The conductor left the building only to be greeted by his manager and the two gorilla-sized bodyguards. "Back to work", his manager said. More weeks of forced conducting went by. Lying in bed again one night with wife he asked, "Dear, could you get me a grenade?" "Yes dear", she replied.


At his next performance the conductor waited until the end of the concert, with the grenade tucked neatly in his undies. "For the third time, I'm announcing my retirement!", he yelled. The conductor took out the grenade, pulled the pin, and threw it into the audience. The grenade exploded, killing 23 members of the crowd. The police arrived and he was taken away again.


"You again?", the judge asked. "I thought I'd sentenced you to death not long ago?" The conductor shrugged. "Ok, how do you plead to 23 counts of first degree murder?", the judge said. "Guilty to all counts", the conductor replied.


While the settings were changed to triple the voltage of the current going to the chair, the conductor was granted another last request. "A silver platter with 2 dozen bananas", was his answer. He hastily devoured the bananas, the room was evacuated, and the switch was flicked. It appeared that they'd manage to kill him this time, but their fears were realised when the conductor regained consciousness as they were about to remove his body. His manager and the two gorilla-sized bodyguards were waiting for him and he left the building. "Back to work."


The weeks dragged on and the conductor had had all that he could take. "Dear, could you get me a missile launcher?", he asked his wife as they lay in bed. "Yes dear", she replied.


It was all too much for the conductor and he didn't even wait for the concert to start. "Damn you all!" he screamed. He launched a missile into the New York Symphony Orchestra, killing all 190 odd members. The army was called in this time and he was dragged away.


"You again!?! You're supposed to be DEAD!", the judge roared.  The conductor just shrugged.


"May I ask how you plead for 190 counts of first degree murder?" "Guilty as sin!", the conductor screamed.


"The $@%*&$ deserved it!" The conductor was hauled away.


A public announcement was issued to all local residents warning that there would be a short cut in the power. Meanwhile, the city's electrical engineers were busy re-routing all the electricity they could into the electric chair. Once again, the conductor was granted a last request.


"Three dozen bananas on a silver platter", he said.


He hastily devoured the bananas, the building was completely vacated, and the electric chair was activated by remote control from some 2 kilometres away.


The building exploded, reducing it to rubble. They fished through the ruins to find the conductor's ruined body. His funeral was held some days later. As the casket was being lowered into the grave there was a knock on the coffin lid. Women fainted as the conductor crawled out of coffin - alive!


He was taken to a large press conference. One reporter stood up and asked "You've survived three visits to the electric chair. How did you do it?"


"I've tried telling people before", he said. "I'm just a bad conductor."

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[in Just-] (spring) by e.e. cummings

[in Just-]

by e.e. cummings

in Just-
spring when the world is mud-
luscious the little
lame baloonman

whistles far and wee

and eddieandbill come
running from marbles and
piracies and it's
spring

when the world is puddle-wonderful

the queer
old baloonman whistles
far and wee
and bettyandisbel come dancing

from hop-scotch and jump-rope and

it's
spring
and
the

goat-footed

baloonMan whistles
far
and
wee
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Drawing: Why not?

By Jack Brummet

[8"x10" hand-done drawing digitized & colored in Photoshop]

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ATIT Reheated - Alien Lore No. 196: The Nation of Islam and UFOs

By Jack Brummet, Paranormal Editor, and
Mona Goldwater, Society Editor

A few weeks ago,  the Nation of Islam leader Louis Farrakhan delivered his annual Saviours' Day speech in Rosemont, Illinois.  In the speech, Farrakhan vowed that he would force the U.S. government to open all UFO files (ed's note: not unlike the governments of France and Russia have recently done). 

As it turns out, UFOs are a central tenet in the teachings of the Nation of Islam.  The NOI is a 50,000 person church based in America (as opposed to the Islam Religion, with almost two billion members).

An early NOI leader--Elijah Muhammad--told The Nation of a gigantic Earth-orbiting "Mother Plane" equipped with many weapons.  According to an article on AOL News, "seeking the divine in the skies is one of the core beliefs of NOI leaders and followers, which explains why so much of their literature tells of UFOs, or what they prefer to call airborne 'wheels.'"

The bummer for me, and the readers of our Alien Lore series is that it is not Greys, or aliens flying these saucers around.  The Nation of Islam teachings say the circular spacecraft were built by humans on Earth, many centuries ago, under the guidance of God. 

NOI teachings claim that the original "wheel" was built by scientists on the islands of what is now Japan, "at a cost of $15 billion in gold."  The story also says that "these original UFOs were used to create mountains on Earth."

Naturally, this is tied into Ezekiel's Wheel (ed's note: remember the song..."Ezekiel saw a wheel/Way up/In The middle of the air?").  The encounter in The Bible of the prophet Ezekiel with a wheel-like UFO, is central to the Nation of Islam religion.

Farrakhan told the group in Chicago that "Many have died or have been killed to keep from sharing what they have seen."  Does this sound familiar to any Alien Lore fans?  If you dig into nearly any Alien Lore story, eventually it comes down to conspiracy and cover-ups.

In his Saviour's Day speech the year before, Farrakhan said that in 1985 he himself had been taken aboard the craft.  And, when he was on the flaying saucer, he heard Elijah Muhammad speak to him.


The gathering in Illinois included a group of international UFOligists.  "They have in us allies. They have in us their protectors. They have in us those that will help them to gain the finance to keep up their research."

"Since the founding of the Nation of Islam, these wheel-like objects have been taught to us of their existence and their function," said Ishmael Muhammad, one of Elijah Muhammad's sons.

"The founder of the Nation of Islam, Fard Muhammad, taught us about these objects that the world calls UFOs, and he gave us great details as to the materials that they were constructed of and that most of these objects come from this planet Earth," Ishmael Muhammad told AOL News.

"He also taught us of the existence of life on other planets, as well as a highly advanced civilization on the planet Mars. He taught us about the Mother Plane (UFO) and gave us the dimensions that it was a half mile by a half mile, human-made planet, one mile in height, and that this Mother Plane carried 1,500 smaller planes."

He went on to claim that the FBI and other feds have, in their various raids, confiscated much of the evidence the NOI had collected over the years.   One of the UFOlogists at the conference said "The entire discussion [with Farrakhan] was about UFOs, and it didn't deviate. He [Farrakhan] kept talking about how heroic and brave we were in the face of worldwide skepticism and the media so often treating this at such a high level of ridicule. I was pleasantly surprised when he offered both emotional and financial support for our work, and he came across as very humble in our presence."

Ishmael Muhammad, Nation of Islam's national assistant minister, spoke to AOL News about NOI's fascination with UFOs and their fervent hope that they will somehow unite all the religions of Earth."

"I believe that the recent release of UFO documents by the British government is very significant, along with other countries that have released their own," Ishmael Muhammad added.  "I think it says that they know that contact is imminent."

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Painting: St(r)ained Glass

By Jack Brummet

[acrylic on primed canvas, 2'x3']

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