Friday, April 14, 2006

Rumsfeld, reacting to resignation pressure threatens to expose drug use, sex, and corruption in White House

During an informal talk with the press Thursday afternoon, Secretary of Defense Donald Rumseld made a veiled threat to the White House to back off on calls for his resignation. Two more retired U.S. generals called for Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld to resign on Thursday, claiming the architect of the U.S. war strategy in Iraq should be held accountable for the chaos enveloping Iraq. A total of six retired generals have now called for Rumsfeld to step down.

"I don't know where this f***ing s**t is all coming from. How high up? You know you've got to watch your back around this town, " the Secretary told reporters. "For all I know, these Generals were put up to this by some overzealous, coked up mid-level staffers. "

"Maybe not," he said, responding to a question from Phil Ronson of the Mutual News Syndicate, "but someone up there had a hand in this. You can bet your ass it's not coming from the Pentagon. Try Foggy Bottom or The White House."

The Secretary continued, "Whoever is responsble for these generals holding forth, well, maybe they just don't know who they're f***ing with!"

Later in the conversation, the Secretary mused "Do you know how many skeletons I could rattle around here, with the parties and dope. . .the escort services, kiddie porn, wife swapping, the bondage crap? There was even a snuff movie making the rounds. Not to mention people with their hands in the till. If this s**t doesn't stop right now, it'll be a green light for me to tell everything I know. And it doesn't end with quote, high officials, unquote. It goes right to the top. But let's drop the subject. I've probably already said too much for now. "

When pressed, the Secretary declined to elaborate on his stunning allegations. "Believe me, you'll all know when the time comes. If it comes to that, you'll won't find me going 'gentle into the good night.' I don't know who put these generals up to this," he said, "but I will."

White House officials have previously leaked stories (wishful thinking?, a message?) claiming that Rumsfeld would leave the Admininstration in early 2006 (see December 8, 2005 All This Is That). The White House has recently and frequently been forced to defend a man who has been a lightning rod for criticism over the Iraq war--the same war that is largely responsible for President Bush's plummeting approval ratings.

Other recent articles about Sectary Rumsfeld appearing in All This Is That:

Five new Rumsfeld Poems
Poem: Clarity By Donald Rumsfeld
Poem: Those Glass Boxes By Secretary Donald Rumsfeld
The Poetry Of Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, Part 3::::::That's Life
The Poetry of Secretary Donald Rumsfeld VI:::::Predicting The Future
The Poetry Of Secretary Donald Rumsfeld VIII::::::Litany: What I Don't Do
The Poetry Of Secretary Donald Rumsfeld IX::::::Accuracy
The Poetry Of Secretary Donald Rumsfeld X:::::::::Where Is Osama bin Laden?
The Poetry Of Secretary Donald Rumsfeld XI:::::::::Existence, Evidence, Absence
The Poetry of Secretary Donald Rumsfeld XIV::::::::The Unknown
New Rumsfeld Poems From The Dec. 6, 2005 Defense Dept. Briefing
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