President escorted, ranting and half-naked from WH Press briefing room

By Pablo Fanque,
National Affairs Editor, All This Is That
Washington, D.C. June 12, 2008

In a bizarre turn of events, President George W. Bush made an unannounced visit to the White House Press Briefing Room this morning. The President was clad only in a pair of white briefs and black socks. Although I rarely attend the highly scripted and controlled events in the Press Room, I just happened to be there, meeting a friend from Reuters.



The President stood at the podium, and began ranting about today's Supreme Court ruling that clears foreign terrorism suspects at Guantanamo Bay to challenge their detention in U.S. civilian courts. Bush suggested new legislation may now be needed to keep the American people safe: "If it was up to me, these sons of bitches in Guantanamo would all be missing limbs by now. If I had a free hand, we'd make what Jack Bauer does look like Rebbecca of Sunnybrook farm. What a bunch of hand-wringing pansies this f***ing Supreme Court has turned out to be! Clarence and Tony--I love you f***ers!"

Two minutes into the President's rant, he was coaxed from the podium by his Chief of staff, Joshua B. Bolten, As his top aide edged him toward the door, The President exploded, screaming at Bolten and and throwing long, roundhouse punches and haymakers. "You get your f***ing hands off me or I'll have these agents break your f***ing arms ***hole!"



With the Chief of Staff unable to calm the President (or get him out of range of the press), two uniformed Capitol Police put a sweatsuit on Bush, and escorted him to an undisclosed location.

Needless to say, the Press Room exploded into action, between people phoning in stories and trading photographs, video and audio clips. Later, one reporter claimed a source told him President Bush had been taken to St. Elizabeth's Psychiatric Hospital in Washington for observation, and possible treatment.
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