The absurdity of excesive air traveler scrutiny

The New York Times blog on air travel--Jet Lagged--had a great editorial (The Airport Security Follies), on December 28th, by Patrick Smith, a commercial pilot and the author of Salon's "ask the pilot." Read the full editorial here.

"Six years after the terrorist attacks of 2001, airport security remains a theater of the absurd. The changes put in place following the September 11th catastrophe have been drastic, and largely of two kinds: those
practical and effective, and those irrational, wasteful and pointless. The
first variety have taken place almost entirely behind the scenes. Explosives
scanning for checked luggage, for instance, was long overdue and is perhaps the most welcome addition.

"Unfortunately, at concourse checkpoints all across America, the madness of passenger screening continues in plain view. It began with pat-downs and the senseless confiscation of pointy objects. Then came the mandatory shoe removal, followed in the summer of 2006 by the prohibition of liquids and gels. We can only imagine what is next."
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Danger Dog! The New Homeland Security Threat Rating System

Someone at Wired (a magazine I haven't read for about 10 years) came up with a hot-dog based security threat rating system. The last time I flew to Texas, about two weeks ago, we were at Orange. But that was really the Chicago Dog level.

Notes on the Hot Dog System:

1. Fried, Bacon-Wrapped Tijuana Danger Dog. In the Mexican States of Nayarit and Jalisco (where I have visited several times), and, possibly in Baja, these are called Tocino Dogs. Our old pal and restaurateur, Jorge, often peddled these in Bucerias from a cart at fiestas. I have also seen Tocino Dogs sold on the streets of Los Angeles, around Staples Center when I have attended E3.

2. Chicago Dog With Everything. Have you ever had a Chicago Dog? A Hot Dog on a nice roll, with mustard, that neon green relish they use, a slice of pickle, celery salt, sport peppers (a pickled chili of medium hotness), mustard, and tomatoes.

3. Hebrew National Kosher Dog With Relish and Onions. Not quite a traditional NYC dog, which usually has chili onions, mustard, and sauerkraut.

4. Microwaved Oscar Meyer Wieners on White Bread Roll with Ketchup. A really bad American dog.

5. Steamed Tofu Pup on Sprouted Wheat Roll. Often called a Not Dog in the vegie/vegan world. Yuk!

Here is the current, laughable, National Security Threat Level System:



And, finally, the Sesame Street threat level system:


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