The Chafe pulls out, Hillary surges, and The Bern cools down just a bit

By Mona Goldwater, Democratic Primary Ed.

This morning, ex-Rhode Island Gov. Lincoln Chafee pulled the plug on his long, long, long-shot bid for the  Democratic presidential nomination. On the Democratic side, his candidacy was possibly the most puzzling one of all.

Chaffee sited Hillary's "good week" as one reason he is pulling out.  One of the reasons Chafee decided to drop out now: Hillary Clinton had "a good week," in which Ex-Sen. Jim Webb dropped out, Vice President Joe Biden declined to run, and she successfully underwent hours of testimony on Capitol Hill, and in the end mostly came out smelling like a rose, while the committee looked like petty buffoons. Updated Demo scorecard:

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Photo: JFK on the campaign trail (1960)

By Jack Brummet

There have been some pathetic turnouts for Republican rallies and speeches recently, especially among the second tier candidates. Rick Santorum gave a speech recently at which one person showed up. Here is a shot of the 1960 Presidential election winner, early in the primary season.

[Provenance and photographer unknown]  

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An intoxicated Hillary Clinton disrobes on campaign plane

by Pablo Fanque,
All This Is That National Affairs Editor,
Washington, D.C.



Presidential Candidate Hillary Clinton spent her time in South Dakota today having one two three four five for the road. Clinton took time from her schedule to enjoy a few bumpers of whiskey with a group of journalists. Reporters mentioned off the record that marijuana was openly smoked on the plane, and that the Senator partially disrobed while dancing with a young reporter. Reporters attributed the strange behavior to "a recognition by all aboard that they were approaching the end of the line. There's nothing left to lose."

The Senator was flying back from Rapid City in South Dakota, one of the last states to hold a primary, when she decided to let her hair down. According to the Evening Standard, "Her relaxed mood may give rise to speculation she is preparing to concede to her Democratic rival Barack Obama."


Following the Rushmore visit, Hillary broke out several bottles of Maker's Mark from
the plane's commissary and began pouring drinks for the press, and several for herself.

Earlier in the campaign, Mrs Clinton almost always avoided informal contact with reporters. Today, however, she took a couple of hours from her increasingly spare schedule to visit Mount Rushmore, bringing along numerous reporters who began partying on the bus ride back to her campaign jet.


"I am completely f***ed up," The Senator said after her fourth or fifth drink,before
grabbing the male reporter behind her and dancing to the strains of Fleetwood Mac.
Clinton reportedly removed her top during the song "Go your own way."
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Obama issues clarification on his "bitter" remarks

by Pablo Fanque,
National Affairs Editor, All this is that

(Seattle, Wash. - All this is that wire) — Senator Barack Obama on Sunday attempted to clarify (and mitigate!) what he meant when he said some small-town Pennsylvanians are "bitter" people who "cling to guns and religion."

Sen. Barack Obama told All This Is That's Pablo Fanque that his statement was misunderstood and misrepresented. "I didn't say it as well as I should have," Obama admitted to Fanque in Muncie, Indiana, on Sunday, the day after he first defended his comments,

"Many of these traditions are passed on from generation to generation -- but that doesn't mean they're right. These people in the flyover states are shooting innocent animals, are inveterate racists, homophobes, and I understand many still have sexual relations with cousins, in-laws, siblings, and even barnyard animals. Just because these are traditions with these backwoods folk, Pablo, doesn't mean they're right, or that they shouldn't be changed."

"But will the peckerwoods and crackers ever make these changes?," he asked Fanque on Sunday. "No freakin' way! And that, friendos, is why we need to make the changes for them."

"That's why my first act as President will be to round up every single gun in this country. And the second will be to enroll every citizen in this land in mandatory sensitivity training. And in case you're interested, I also plan to raise taxes. Through the roof. And in case you're interested, I have not ruled out mass involuntary sterilization."
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Are Obama and Huck in a tailspin?

In what has to be her best Christmas gift this year, an ARG poll released this week seems to show Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton with a comeback double-digit lead over Senator Barack Hussein Obama among likely caucus-goers.

Clinton and Obama were in a dead heat in last week’s American Research Group poll. In the new survey (December 20-23), she leads the Illinois senator by 15% (34 to 19). If you account for sampling errors, Obama is now in a statistical tie for second place with Ex-Senator John Edwards, who has 20 percent of the vote.

Last week, Mike Huckabee was ahead of Mitt Romney by an 11-point margin. . .but the new poll puts the two back in a statistical tie, 23 to 21 percent, followed by John McCain at 17%, Rudy Giuliani with 14 percent, and even Ron Paul has climbed to 10 %, up from 4 % last week. Man, if Ron Paul is doubling his numbers Huck, Mitt, Crazy John, and Rudy "Queeg" Giuliani must really be blowing it!
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